Attitudes to cooking, cleaning, laundry etc

T914

Laundry makes my blood boil.

milasavesmoney

When my mother turned 67 she decided to take an oil painting class. She was exceptionally talented and, over the next few years, painted some fabulous pictures. She was showing some of them to me one day when she stopped, looked at me and then said "I've wasted my life cleaning." She died at age 72 yrs.

76rosie

I'm 39 and work full time. Oh isn't working so he does cooking hoovering etc. Frankly he doesn't have the attention to detail I would like.

But no ones died yet and my priority is to be a moneysaver, use coupons, bank accounts and 4 hours keep fit a week.

I do agree that minimising is the way to be tidier.

My place looks like someone lives there and not a showhome,.

VfM4meplse

milasavesmoney wrote: »

When my mother turned 67 she decided to take an oil painting class. She was exceptionally talented and, over the next few years, painted some fabulous pictures. She was showing some of them to me one day when she stopped, looked at me and then said "I've wasted my life cleaning." She died at age 72 yrs.

That is so sad.

I grew up witnessing my mum working like a slave in the house whilst working full time. Weekends that were not set aside for social activities consisted of housework, cooking and little else apart from her screaming her head off at her 3 kids whilst we tried our best to help. She was thoroughly stressed out and I remember feeling sorry for her situation, feeling that we were the cause of her unhappiness although now I know the opposite to be true.

This week she read me the riot act when she stayed for a few days: she doesn't see me cooking or cleaning whilst she is here, what do I do in the house apart from read books and "play on the computer"? My response: why would I? There's plenty of food in the kitchen and she can't criticise the cleanliness: I prefer to live in harmony, value my time and my zen.

My sister doesn't get away that easily because her cleaning standards differ. Mum visits whilst she's at out work, gets cross with her housekeeping, does a load of housework, announces it to her as soon as she walks through the door and then moans that she doesn't get any thanks for it. I have also banned mum from doing any housework when she's with me, something she violates occasionally to my irritation. She's a skilled, intelligent person who should be enjoying her retirement, yet she sees her value as skivvying for her family.

FairyPrincessk

I think its about finding a balance and not creating a rod for your own back. I cook a lot from scratch, bake complicated things and I like to wear linen which requires regular ironing. I change bed linens very frequently because I like fresh sheets. At the same time, I'm not going to spend a nice day indoors doing housework. I'll do the minimum and head out to enjoy it. I could have chosen a career that made more money and more quickly, but I love what I do, and saving up for the things I want may take longer but I'm enjoying the journey. I value not having an over-scheduled life and being able to do things at my own pace, but it would drive some people around the bend. I read a few bogs here and there, but I don't tend to want to emulate other people's lives. They may love having lots of clubs to go to and living a very busy life in a show home and I'm pleased they're able to live out that lifestyle. I don't desire that and I'm glad no one is saying I should!

ETA: My OH does his fair share of chores. If I start to feel I'm doing more or if work is very busy and I can't do my normal chores, I tell him and we work out something that gets the necessities done and let the rest go. He does the same. Its no good living the perfect life if you spend all of it resenting the people you love.

cheel

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Looking around at others in my peer group I have notice that life is hard these days for women and our attitudes towards ourselves and other women in general are very demanding - whilst attitudes of men, and towards men, have not changed for some

Women are expected to
Have full time career,
all housework practices, cook clean wash iron gardening
main childcare responsibilities
organise the family day to day, lunches, then other events holidays etc
Be a goddess between the sheets, to a man who treats us like their mother at every other time,

Men are expected to
Work full time
Take full control of the tv remote

No wonder depression is at a high these days, we as women place far too much pressure on ourselves and each other

And when people ask me if its hard being a single mum, this is exactly why i say it's actually easier! There are good men out there who aren't like that, but I've found that a man who saps your confidence and thinks the house is self cleaning, isn't worth the extra laundry!!

I dont want my beautiful boy to have extra 'uncles' in and out of his life, so I'm happily single until someone comes along who is well worth it!!

Xx

Ilona

I like this thread. If you could see my living room at this moment, you would say I am a slobby blogger. Crafty projects and materials strewn about, cats and a dog lying around, me in my scruffs, I love the place. No Fly Lady or that Marie woman here, can't understand that at all. Domestic Goddess I am most definitely not. There are a lot of blogs I don't read because of the product reviews, and guest posts trying to flog something. A big turn off.

My sister made a rude comment about my house once. She said, 'I can taste the dust in here'. She visits about once every five years. I would never be so rude as to comment about how other people live.

Housework is not my first priority, enjoying myself is.

Ilona

FairyPrincessk

I don't bother with KonMarie or Flylady, but I can see that both can be useful tools that allow people to live their lives to their satisfaction. I am happier when I live in a tidy and reasonably clean environment, so I'm not going to knock someone for wanting to find a way to keep their environment clean and tidy to the level that makes them happy and affords them the space to do what they want. I wouldn't dream of telling someone their house was too dirty, but nor would I dream of telling someone the way they choose to go about cleaning it is over the top. The caveat to both of those is if I felt a very close friend or family member's health was suffering because of cleanliness--too much or too little and then it would be with a view to offering support.

pollypenny

I am terrified of that Flylady thread! When I read it first I wondered if I was a slob! But no, I'm not.

OH cooks, I clean and do washing and ironing, more of the latter than cleaning, in fact. Once a week with the Hoover is enough, as is washing kitchen floors. We don't have any pets now.

The Windows need cleaning, but that's not urgent. I've far better things to do than housework.

pinkypig

Hi everyone.
I work full time and am a single parent but the kids are in there teens so its easier than it was.
I took me a long time to realise that I couldn't do everything and when I tried I was tired, stressed and never had time to do anything that I enjoyed. Older and wiser I just try and prioritise and it generally works.
Laundry is done and folded and put away immediately as I'm terrible for piling things up and then get stressy about the clutter. It's been much better since I forced myself to do it straight away. Ditto paperwork, 'things that need to go upstairs' and things that tend to pile up. I'm in the habit now so it's easier.
I keep the floors clean as I find that if they are I can live without the rest of it being spotless. I give the kitchen and the bathroom a wipe as I go so they are generally ok too.
I do cook from scratch because I enjoy it, I like HM food and it saves me money. I do batch cook and use my freezer so I don't feel like a slave to it.
The kids rooms are not great. I insist on made beds, laundry in the basket and curtains drawn daily. Empty cups are also brought down each morning. They put their own washing away and do their rooms once a week including stripping the beds. I usually only go in to put clean linen in once they've been done. It saves my sanity. They are probably awful the rest f the time so I just don't look:). If I need to go in I just say to myself 'it'll get done on Saturday' and avert my eyes!
I like to be outdoors and I run, walk or cycle most days. Much better for me than wiping down the skirting boards and hoovering under the sofa!