Bridesmaid Etiquette

psychopathbabble

sulphate wrote: »

If I was the MOH I'd wonder why you wanted to plan a hen party a year in advance!

In my previous job I had to bid for my holiday in november for the following holiday year... for peak periods such as christmas and summer it was impossible to get holiday booked, even when bidding for it so if there were any important dates I would need to know that early on.

Not everyone can book holiday whenever they like.

tea_lover

psychopathbabble wrote: »

In my previous job I had to bid for my holiday in november for the following holiday year... for peak periods such as christmas and summer it was impossible to get holiday booked, even when bidding for it so if there were any important dates I would need to know that early on.

Not everyone can book holiday whenever they like.

But why would people assume a hen party would need time off work? Every one I've been to has been a nice meal out, a spa day, afternoon tea, theatre trip, etc. All of them have been during the weekend. The only one that's included an overnight stay was after a day trip to Alton Towers, and that was mostly because we'd travelled quite a way, a few of us stayed at the bride's house.

I've thoroughly enjoyed every single one, and none of us has ever felt the need to turn it into a week-long drinking holiday.

ETA: and yes, of course some people work at weekends and there will always be some juggling to get a time that suits everyone but a year in advance.... really? Most people I know have organised and had the whole wedding in less time than that.

georgie262

Thanks for all the replies perhaps I am being a bit over enthusiastic but I am really keen to make sure she has a fab time.. Perhaps I should have been a bit clearer. The Wedding is a year away so the hen party will be more like 10 months away. The bride is a teacher so we'd be look at the Easter holidays for the hen do. I suppose it depends on the expectations of the night - I just had a night in town for my hen do and was more than happy with that, I do think her expectations are a little higher than that, not that she's demanding but that just seems to be what her friends have done so far. I also have 2 children so I know I'd appreciate the notice and time to save if I wanted to go. I'm happy to leave it a little longer. The bride has organised a meal in August with the bridesmaids so we could probably have a chat about it then.

justme111

Why easter holidays and not just any weekend around that time ? People may want to go away on easter holidays with families so having hen do taking over may not be the best.
Ps. You may want to relax a bit about it. Desire to move heaven and earth for a hen do does not seem proportionate or healthy to me and indeed may backfire.

Jagraf

georgie262 wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies perhaps I am being a bit over enthusiastic but I am really keen to make sure she has a fab time.. Perhaps I should have been a bit clearer. The Wedding is a year away so the hen party will be more like 10 months away. The bride is a teacher so we'd be look at the Easter holidays for the hen do. I suppose it depends on the expectations of the night - I just had a night in town for my hen do and was more than happy with that, I do think her expectations are a little higher than that, not that she's demanding but that just seems to be what her friends have done so far. I also have 2 children so I know I'd appreciate the notice and time to save if I wanted to go. I'm happy to leave it a little longer. The bride has organised a meal in August with the bridesmaids so we could probably have a chat about it then.

Op - unless ive missed something ... Have you been given the role of organising the hen do, or not?

Also if the bride has organised a meal in August isn't that Her way of saying that's when it's discussed. I'm not sure why you are doing anything at the moment.

jemb

TBH she is the maid of honour, let her arrange it. Send her a message perhaps saying let you know if there's anything you can do to help. It is her job and she probably has other things going on. I've organised 3 hen dos and too many cooks and all that. Bridesmaids have rubbed me up the wrong way trying to take over so please just ask if she wants help rather than standing on anyones toes.