Bridesmaid Etiquette

SmlSave

I totally understand where the op is coming from. Just setting a budget for the hen do early can mean that the less well of can afford to go. I had to save £20 a month for a year to afford the last hen do I went on.

But, if the moh wants to be the organiser then find out and leave her to it.

I am no longer speaking to the bridesmaid who I organised a hen do with and my bridesmaids fell out over the same and I was bitterly disappointed, both with them and the hen do.

justme111

Mesmerising how people in first world manage to create stress and trouble.

cashewnut

You're worried about the lack of engagement from the maid of honour - have you considered the wedding is a year away and maybe it's not the most important thing in her life?

I got married in March and me and my bridesmaids thrashed out a hen do plan (they would have done a surprise for me if I'd wanted!) in January, with the hen do itself in February.

A year is far far too long to plan! Maybe at most get a date agreed then revisit it a couple of months before to book stuff up.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

If other attendees have children or shift jobs that include weekends, then decent notice is always appreciated.

Late 20s/early 30s is peak age for weddings. I had five in one summer once (so that's ten weekends taken out with Hen Dos and weddings).

So I don't think it's unreasonable to start thinking about possible dates and crucially, how big and expensive it's likely to be (check with the bride as many just want a night out with mates, not endless bonding activities or novelty stuff).

Beckyy

A year away is ageeees, unless you're planning on going on a massive holiday abroad I wouldn't worry about it for at least another 6 months.

Primrose

Maybe she's just one of these people who's just not into the modern concept of spending vast sums on money on the peripherals of a wedding and doesn't really want to engage in that side of it.
Why not contact her privately and enquire whether she wants to take the task on and offer to take it over if she would be happy not to have to take charge.

afooksy

I don't think it was down to you to start the Whats App group. If I was the MOH I'd be a bit put out, especially with the wedding still one year away. I'd step back, don't message her privately and in a few months if nothing has been discussed maybe approach the bride and ask of the MOH has mentioned any hen do planning. If she hasn't, I would at that point say maybe we should start getting some dates/ideas together.

Rosemary7391

Some people have to book time off work up to a year in advance. It's at least worth considering the situation of the folk who will be attending and the nature of the event - a Saturday night down the pub with the office girls is very different to anything that involves overnight stays, flights, people who would need to book time off or travel a longer distance etc. Hen dos do seem to encompass a large range of activities! I do prefer to have things organised well in advance though, that won't be everyone's style, but organisation at least shouldn't hurt.

sulphate

If I was the MOH I'd wonder why you wanted to plan a hen party a year in advance!

Twopints

sulphate wrote: »

If I was the MOH I'd wonder why you wanted to plan a hen party a year in advance!

Maybe you could read some of the other posts in this thread including the one immediately before yours to find out?