Large single Parent Family getting Debt free

kimplus8

Had a fairly good day, attend my counselling session and saw the psychiatrist today and planned my care for once baby is born, medication and support network all in place so hopefully I won't get low at all but if I do it will be considerably less so than with my last 2 babies. I've been stuck in a space where I've been unable to get out of the darkness and worry surrounding my ex husband and ex boyfriend. I recently ( on MSE) discovered the konMarie decluttering method. I applied the 'does it bring me joy' rule to my clothes and clutter and today it dawned on me that I also need to apply it to all the people and emotional clutter in my life and o realised that neither of these men bring me joy- at all!!! Not even a teeny bit. I dislike who they are and what they do bring to my life is worry, stress and anxiety so I'm de- cluttering them and all their emotional baggage from my life.
Another NSD for me today and tomorrow I will only be buying my bus ticket otherwise it's a NSD tomorrow too.
I have semi meal planned for next week and contacted 2 old creditors to get correct amounts for my dro.
Getting there slowly but surely :-)

mum2one

Sounds like you have achieved a lot in a short time, def like the sound of the decluttering, - I'm slowly trying to work through the house, as guilty for keeping it as well as letting it go...

At least getting the support network in place - your covering all bases x

Smodlet

Yay, K+8! Had no computer for weeks but what amazing progress you have already made. I know it's not my place but I am so proud of you, I so hope that does not come across as patronising; it is not meant to.

I meant it when I said I don't know how you do what you do, let alone do it any better but that is what MSE is for. I do not have any children but have been fascinated by all the tips about jellies/drinks etc. As for freezing sarnies, if it's good enough for the supermarkets... and at least you know what is in the ones you make, and the conditions in which they were made.

It is great that your children help out around the house, how many do these days? Our new neighbours, both early/mid twenties have not one clue between them, it seems. One borrowed a stanley knife and must have used it to stir paint with, from the state in which it was returned. OH gave it back to him, told him either to clean and return it in its original condition or buy him a new one. I bet your 4 year old has more common sense already than he. Far too many parents seem to think it is good parenting to teach their kids to be helpless/useless/thoughtless/rude and inconsiderate. I am willing to bet not one of yours is any of those things.

You may be on your own but, as so many others have said, you are doing an exceptionally good job and teaching your children skills they will use their whole lives. Best of luck and good news about the school places. Go, Kim, go!

System

I'm following. Sounds like you have achieved such a lot already.
Good luck.

milasavesmoney

I am subscribing and have really enjoyed reading the beginning of this new diary. If you can get the free school lunches that would save you so much time! Not to mention money. I hope that is something that works out for you.

We have six children and when I was pg with my last I had someone ask if I was Mormon.... No.
Catholic? No. They then looked at me as though I was crazy.:D which of course is the feeling of quite a few people.

I wish I had not stopped at six. (Two were step children that I became mother to when they were quite young) I absolutely adore my amazing children and am so thankful every day that I have them!!!
It takes a bit of doing but they are so very definitely worth the time and effort!

Having everyone help is essential and you have that system down already. Everyone of my children started washing their own clothes when they were twelve. They each had a day assigned. They all had rotating assigned house work etc. I took them all shopping with me and they helped out so much. We did not have the availability of delivery and it's a lot of work to shop for so many. They made it a joy to do. The older ones were given a list and would take a smaller one or two and go on a 'hunt' for the list items. The little ones had so much fun! I cooked from scratch and scoured sales to stock up on pantry/freezer items.

You seem like you have really wonderful children! I'm really hoping the schools get sorted out. One year I had children in five different schools. :eek: That was a hard year!

Going to free events and outings will keep them busy, happy and not only save your wallet but you mind as well.:A:D

kimplus8

Gosh ive had a really sh***y day. The school appeal was unsuccessful so DD will have to get the bus to high school and then just walk as shes been offered one that's not in our catchment, the nearest school is right close to us but she was 4 points short in the 11+ to get a place and got offered the other grammar school instead and despite everything she had to deal with over this last year, a glowing head teachers report stating that she is way above age related expectancy and evidence from her counsellor, camhs and the ed psych.
I'm gutted for her as she really wanted to go to the local grammar school, but instead we will press on with getting her settled at the alternative and go from there. (she has chosen the local single sex school as the other grammar school is attend by the ex bf's daughter and she doesn't want any confrontation.
Its a good thing for her to not have that worry I guess.
She really is an incredible child and will be successful wherever she goes.
I spent money today on bus fare and nursery so I could attend the appeal and that's also been a bitter pill to swallow.
I don't want to spend any money these days, I hate it, and get a real 'owchie' moment because I am using cash for everything. It really is so different spending physical money as apposed to on the bank card. Its emotive and its making me think twice--- do I need it? can it wait till it goes on sale? its it a want rather than a need? are the 3 things I ask myself before purchasing something now.
On a good note I went into mothercare today to see what carrycots will fit my pram, My particular model had maxi cosi fittings so can take a variety of carrycots and sadly I sold mine when my last baby out grew it, I wasn't planning on having any more
when I spoke with the assistant she called over her manager as I was trying to try them out with a wriggly toddler in tow, she went away and came back with a brand new carrycot that had a small mark on the cover, The brand new ones were £150 and I was about to explain that I just wanted to see what ones fit (so I could buy a pre loved one) and she said 'weve had this out the back for months, it had a small mark and weve been unable to sell it, you can have it for £15!!
I nearly cried!! what an amazing answer to my prayers!! even pre loved they were £30-40.
I'm collecting it tomorrow, it just needs crib sheets which thankfully I have in my cupboard!
NSD tomorrow apart from bus fare as I have my scan at the hospital to find out how squidgy is doing!!
k+8xx

System

Top job!!! that's amazing, the world is full of lovely people if you are lucky enough to come across them!
Sorry for your DD - it sounds like it will be a bit tough- you'll just have to believe that "it's for a reason" and it sounds like she will thrive where ever she is.

Smodlet

Hey, k+8, you hang in there. DD will be fine, she sounds as if her head is firmly screwed on, not that that is surprising with the wonderful mom she has.

There was only one choice of grammar school when I was but a sprog (boys had two) so it was either get on the bus and travel the three miles or go to the local, rough-as-guts comprehensive. Mine was the last stop the free bus picked up at as anyone living nearer was expected to get there under their own steam, so most of the girls had much further to travel than I.

I look forward to hearing how she is getting on, come September but she has the whole of the hols to look forward to, first, as do you.

I know what you mean about spending actual money, it's so much more painful than flashing the plastic but the best way of remaining aware of where it is all going.

Bobarella

Im so pleased about the carry cot thats great!

kimplus8

Much better day today, I lost my purse which was pants but it meant apart from the change in my bag I couldn't spend anything, I went to my scan and my beautiful, clever baby boy has put on weight and is 3.5 lbs which means he's doing so much better and I won't need to be induced. I was so scared of having a prem but he's Chubbing out nicely. He was putting his whole fist in his mouth today and blowing fluid out of his mouth- clever boy!!
As I had no wallet I bussed it to mother are and collected the carrycot and bypassed the sales to come home again- not forgetting a free payg sim for the kids. Their dad wants to call them so I've got them a sim for an old phone and I will top up with a £5er every few months so they have it for emergencies and to call me on way home etc. I've now sacked my daughters contract and shaved £10 off my mobile bill each month! She drove me crazy on it anyways and tbh can connect free to the wifi at home to chat to friends etc.
Got a free lunch today too as I found a m and s voucher with £5 on it so used it to get a sarnie meal deal on way home- score!!!
Who says life on the tightened purse strings has to be boring!?
Hope everyone is ready for a nice weekend- we've got the school fete and granny visiting this weekend so hopefully should be fun! Xx