Joined 31.05.16

reality_check

Collections in work drive me insane!! Especially since I like about 5% of the people of the office I work in, plus I am up to my eyes in debt...I have no money!! Yet I still struggle to say no!! :mad:

Poor_Single_lady

So tired today. Went to pub for 1 and left 4 hours later. Very fun but very bad and definitely not in budget. Felt guilty all day.
The charity donations are hard because people seem to be raising money for personal things like research into diseases that took their parents or hospitals that cared for thier sick children or parents who have now died. That is hard because you worry people think badly of you. Although I wouldn't if it was the other way round so maybe it is ok.
Im dreading looking at my bank accounts its just getting worse and worse. Didn't spend money today but meeting friend tommorow eve. Then nothing social planned so could get to Monday with minimal spending which is payday. Can not wait.

System

Hey PSL, hang in there. The only thing I can offer up with the guilt / pub thing is that you can't be budget perfect 100% of the time, so that's why having an emergency fund, or building a treatpot into your budget seems so important...so you know you can do it once or twice, guilt free, and it makes it easier to hopefully say no too (e.g. your saving your treat pot for friends birthday night out etc etc.) Very easy to say, not so easy to do! I'm so lucky that I live in the middle of Exmoor, and we have a young baby, so the words 'social life' really aren't part of my vocabulary, living somewhere town/city must be so tough.

Do you track how many NSD's you do, and set yourself a target? We've been tracking this month, and I have found it so helpful, as it's made me think about what I am going to spend and when so rather than just cruising through, I'm thinking ahead of time and planning my spends.
And the only other thing is that it doesn't make sense to make your payments back to your debt so tight, that you can't live (and consequently rebel against your budget when life's tough/dull), it might make more sense to reduce your payments to your debt a little, allow for a good fun budget - and then if you don't spend all your fun budget you can pay it off against your debt, or for a treat to reward you for being good.

Poor_Single_lady

Thanks for the help Ramblehan, i will get into these good habits i promise but at the moment there isn't much room left for any fun bits! It all seems to be swallowed up but that's just how it is for now, its my own fault BUT there may be a small bonus im april and my loan of £153 per month ends october 2017. So there is light in the distance far away. Just need to be good In july. Then time off work means that I wont have to pay for travel and 2 months a year off for council tax and management fee.

It seems when I applied for credit transfer credit card I applied to transfer my overdraft instead of the credit card so going to transfer some of the credit card and watch it closely.
Next month there is only 3 major social occasions. Work drinks 1st july, family birthday and going to see a band with my best friend. So it should be a bit better.
I am never ever getting another loan once the one in october is finished. Its the bane of my life.
No plans tommorow or friday. Saturday mostly empty and sunday possibly at my.mums. Monday payday cant wait!

Poor_Single_lady

Only bought milk today. And voted so pleased with both. This is possibly the first time I've ever only bought milk. I always pick up chocolate, magazines, crisps, scratchcards, wine, cheese. Feel like it's a massive step, had empty tummy as well.so added bonus points.
Tommorow should be non spending day and hopefully credit card balance transfer will go through. The rest of the month should be fairly quiet. To be out of the overdraft (albeit artificially with balance transfer) feels like a massive step in the right direction. And it should be easier to track progress and stay motivated. Im going to go to sainsbury next weekend after this one and top up on the important things.
Resisted temptation to get take away and came home and cooked defrosted curry then Ice cream and strawberries for tea. Then studying and bed. Very tired. Xxxx

Poor_Single_lady

Wish it was pay day today but its not far away now. Bought a coffee yesterday then went to bed early so minimal spending which is good. Just very tired. Neighbour had a party thursday night, noisy boys playing some conputery football competition thing and was very late and annoying.
Feel quite moody today, I think limiting the spending is quite exhausting. Combined with the heat is a tough ride right now.
Get paid monday then have a few bills next week, lunch out thursday and pub friday.
Today going to go to buy fruit then come hone for the day and tidy up the gigantic mess my flat has become. Then bit of studying. Feels like that's the only thing going well so I will press on.

I ate crisps yesterday. I just felt a bit out of sorts. I did say im not eating them till july and felt a lot better for it but yesterday I gave in. Need to learn to hold out but its breaking the habit of a lifetime.

Oh well the future looks brighter than the right now and i will get there. Just slowly. Xxxx

Poor_Single_lady

Its pay day in 6 hours. Im so excited. This month may not be fantastic but I feel way more empowered on my journey.

Jobs for monday
Pay water bill £114
Pay council tax £95
Take lunch to work and come home and stay in
Curry for tea

Jobs for tuesday 28th
Take lunch
Pay loan £153
Put £20 in envelope (owe friend)
Put £30 in envelope for hair appointment
Chicken nuggets/potatoes for tea


Wednesday 29
Take lunch
Go to mums after work
Buy new toothbrush and tweezers


Thursday 30
Pay mortgage
Meet friend, give envelope
Buy butter, milk, anything else needed -small food shop
Lunch out then chicken nuggets or similar tea

Friday 31st
Meet friend for drink- suggest whetherspoon due to funds
Curry for tea.

Saturday
Check bank account, review bills and make shopping list.

Had a bit of a blow out with my best friend, he's so sure he understands about being in debt and then says and does things that show he clearly has no idea.
On saturday he said that i "had to go out" for my mental health. As though he thinks I've spent the whole week isolated sat on the sofa watching telly. It just does my head in. Resulted in me shouting at him that he doesn't get it and the most helpful thing he can do was to just go away. Except it wasn't that polite. I should feel guilty but I feel quite relieved that I stood my ground. I feel like one day he will understand but I hate it when people tell you that its unhealthy to stay at home. Go out and drink your money or stay at home wear pyjamas, eat chocolate and pay mortgage? Hmmm tough one!

Didn't spend any money today but there are things i need - so this week might not be plain sailing. Although im excited about payday I know its a long time till the next one so need to concentrate and try and be sensible.

Poor_Single_lady

Feel a bit bored and restless today. Want to buy things and do internet shopping. I might have to have a whisky and early night. Trying not to get stressed out.
Today paid the water and council tax so pleased with that. Tommorow loan gets reduced to £2300. But today its not yet been paid.
My Sainsbury's credit card has a repayment of around 2% so it goes down each month and you feel like you're making more progress than the mbna which is 1%- so £72 and goes down by 72p each month. I need to learn these life lessons. In 18 months time I (should in theory) only have 3 credit cards. No loan and no overdraft and no hsbc credit card. Hopefully a better job and nicer collegues!
My parents and I were talking about money, i confessed I was in my overdraft and they were really upset and quite emotional. I felt really guilty. If they knew th full extent I would never cope. They think i earn less than i do and this is the reason for the hardship rather than the 4 credit cards, loan and overdraft. I feel like I am a major disappointment to them. I've got 3 siblings and this is the reason they never had any money, but I've got no excuse bar stupidity and bad choices.
This month im determined. Its only been 20 hours since pay day but those 20 hours have gone well with good choices. And that is progress. That's as good as it gets right now. Xxx

Poor_Single_lady

Today was an nsd so that's 3 in a row. Tommorow pub and thurs and fri lunches out. Saturday and sunday, monday family birthday celebrations. Not sure of the plan. Next week wednesday drinks. Lots of socialising but I cant cancel any of it. Worried its going off course but my family and my best friends are essential. Must be easier if you are a hermit.
Had beans on toast for tea and took lunch. Its going to be a long month. I know I shouldn't promote alcohol where other people might see it but I was so stressed out yesterday and having a whisky before bed really helped. Felt a lot less worried but obviously its not a long term solution. Just in the moment it made everything that bit easier.
4 weeks till payday. One day at a time. Xxxx

[Deleted User]

Hey hon,

sorry been AWOL for a few days was away in London & spending loads of pennies - eeek!

You are doing really well keeping up with it all in amongst living life.

You know what not everyone is going to get your situation & that's okay, I think you needed to have that with your friend hopefully will get a bit of a better understanding.

I am a bit skint already & it's weeks until payday.

Dxxx