[Viewer discretion is advised] Recovered addict/financial advice needed!

nimbo

Get to a meeting.

Smart or aa. Mutual Aid is there to support you in your time of need. You can access smart recovery online if you need to.

Focus on the positives. You've shown you're a motivated person and you have come so far.

Use distraction techniques - cleaning or something you have lying around that will keep your hands busy. A craving lasts 2 - 15 minutes. Scrub your bathroom you'll have a clean room and you WILL survive the craving. If the thoughts are still there clean the cupboard under the sink. In one evening your house could be immaculate. Haha

Go back to what they told you in rehab. Whatever works for you. Xxxxxxxxxx

Mrs_Boo_Boo

I have no experience of your situation,but am sending you lots of hope and support. Awareness and acknowledgement of your situation is so important and just by wanting to change and grow sounds like the right direction. No one can do it alone so get as much support as you can. It won't all be plain sailing, but the times when we are tested and it seems like we can't go on are the times when we are growing and developing and becoming stronger.
I wish you strength and courage and doing the best for your children is the right motivation to change.
Use this forum to offload and get virtual support. The right words at the right time are so important just like the Samaritans have done in the past.
I admire you for being so honest. You can do it.
xxx

Toomuchdebt

No experience of anything like this but wanted to send you HUGE hugs!! You're doing so well!

Its_Mollydog

Hi everyone. You will have to get used to my fly-by night visits. I work until 11pm. What I am missing the most after my father passed away, is the warm welcome home he would give me. He would always have supper prepared for when I arrived home. We would sit and have a good old natter about our days. Those little shared moments brought me so much comfort.

With him not around, the house feels cold. My lonliness was the reason why I went out to score those drugs. The disturbing nature of an ex addict - having the illusion drugs can help me escape reality.

I do have coping mechanisms - one method comes from a form of hypnotherapy. Everytime I feel a craving come on, I squeeze my left index finger and think of the happy memory I chose when I went through that process. The method was effective during my darkest hours.

Something has been bugging me lately. When I look in the mirror, I see a normal person. Before when I was on the heroin, I looked like a skeleton. My skin was bad, my hair was like a birds nest and I was severely under weight.

Compared to back then, I look like a new person. I know this is a dissociation phase I am going through. Leaving behind the old me, to welcome in the new me. Adapting to the new me is an ongoing process. The new me is going to be a hardworking mum who loves her children.

The hardworking part of me is complete. Getting my boys back is going to be a tough battle - but I have battled through worse to get to where I am today.

PS - I am sorry if I have not directly answered any of your questions. Writing what I have done, made me a little emotional. Everything what has been said has truly been appreciated. The hugs are very kind. Tonight, I felt the need to say what was on my mind.

NewShadow

Not wanting to come back to an empty house is why I've got cats.

i've also been known to leave the radio on, and have a slow cooker on a timer.

If you don't feel ready for a large(ish) independent animal (cat or dog), Pinnygigs (guinea pigs) are an excellent alternative - plus, they eat lots of salad and fruit (which encourages you to buy it).

Very 'chatty' and sociable, distinct personalities (though mostly food orientated), and live about 5 years.

Alternatively, you could try a goldfish, or a dancing plant...

Mojisola

Its_Mollydog wrote: »

Going back seven years this August. My children were taken into custody by social services.

Its_Mollydog wrote: »

Getting my boys back is going to be a tough battle

If your boys have been happily settled somewhere else for seven years, is getting them back to live with you the best thing for them?

I would aim at a half-way stage where you build a good relationship with them but don't disrupt their daily lives.

If they are being passed around foster homes and children's home and you could offer them a stable environment, that would be different.

harrys_nan

Is there any way you could get a lodger in or you move into a flat share?
If you decide to get a cat, you will have another living thing to care for and perhaps help you, cats can be very lovely as long as they have a warm place to sleep and food.
At the moment, do you get access to your children?or is that something you can aim towards?
Sending you (((hugs))) and good thoughts xx

gayleygoo

Big hugs to you OP, it sounds like you've had such a rough time. I've never used heroin, but from what (little) I understand of it, it is incredibly difficult to move on from and you have done so, so well getting this far, andyou did the right thing in flushing the drugs. If you ever buy them again, flush them again. Fight negative habits with positive habits (the hypnotherapy sounds like a great tool ) You don't have to keep going on your own - keep in touch with your GP about how you are managing, keep talking to the Samaritians, post on here, see if there are any support groups locally maybe?

Regarding money for the children,would putting money in a Child Trust Fund be an option? Once you've paid money in, you can't take it back out and they only get it when they're 18/21. I wish you all the best of luck x

enthusiasticsaver

It depends on the amount you have in mind but if you have a substantial amount it may be worth getting some independent financial advice and look into trusts for your boys especially if you feel you might be tempted to dip into it for drug money. Name some trusted friends or relatives as trustees along with a local solicitor and specify circumstances under which money can be released - ie yearly amount for school uniforms, birthdays, xmas, trips etc, larger lump sums for driving lessons, university,marriage, car or first home and maybe an age at which they can have total control (ie 21?). Junior ISAs are also worth looking into for smaller amounts.

I would imagine your Dad would also want you to secure your own financial security. Are you in his property and is it mortgage free? What about a pension for yourself?

I don't have any experience re drug addiction but I would also suggest that you try to rebuild your life gradually with your boys if they are happily settled by maintaining contact with them and showing they can depend on you from here going forwards. If you are working now this is a good thing and will give you some structure to your life. I would also say maybe get a pet but this is unfair until you have been clean for some considerable time. Are you going to a drug addiction support group? Well done for trying to get your life back on track.

jobbingmusician

Another one here who wants to give you a big hug. And a cat does sound like a good idea - it's really great to have one to welcome you home.

And also to say that of course it's not my thread, but if you ever want to talk there is normally someone around on the 'here we can all be heard for a little while' thread. It's quite a lot about mental health, but they are a lovely bunch on there and will talk about anything without being judgemental.