The value of time: do we take it for granted?

FBaby

I must be in a philosophic mood to open this thread, but some thing has just happened that has made me think about it and I can't remember a thread discussing this before.

oops, pressed the button too quickly, so will continue on next post!

G3.

The value of it?

It all went a bit pear-shaped when they started measuring time by so many oscillations of the caesium atom rather than the fraction of the time it took for the earth to do one rotation.

Now the poor old Earth can't keep up with man's superior method of time measurement, so a 'leap second' has to be added.

Was that the sort of thing you were thinking about?

FBaby

So background is: come from divorced family and things were very difficult as a result, with a very difficult relationship with my step-mother that had a massive effect on me as a child and teenager. I grew to hate her, which was totally unlike me and then to having a on existent relationship with her as an adult until I became a mum and circumstances meant that we got closer.

It's now been 16 years since I gave birth first, and I realised this morning, reading one of her email, that I considered her, as an adult, as a second mum and she as me as her daughter and it made me think how we got from hating each other so much, we both wish the other didn't exist to feeling so strongly about each other.

Many threads here are about people hurting through the pain imposed by someone else. It's about conflict and frustration and posters are often advised to walk away from it all. However much I appreciate that sometimes it is the best thing to do, I can't help but wonder what would happen if more people gave more time for things to get better.

Have you ever experienced a bad relationship, with a family or lover, and with time (and effort) managed to turn it around and make it successful, feeling grateful that you didn't walk away from it?

FBaby

G3. wrote: »

The value of it?

It all went a bit pear-shaped when they started measuring time by so many oscillations of the caesium atom rather than the fraction of the time it took for the earth to do one rotation.

Now the poor old Earth can't keep up with man's superior method of time measurement, so a 'leap second' has to be added.

Was that the sort of thing you were thinking about?

Good sensible guess, but no not what I was thinking of!

Money_maker

Bad relationship with family member, no change in over 25 years. Think I'm happier with the way things are rather than wanting to change them. One life - and a short one at that. Unless you feel any form of regret then don't waste a second on those you were not destined to share it with. Be grateful of those you do.

Jagraf

FBaby I can relate to time changing things but my story is slightly different. I have gone from loving my ex husband, to hate, to now him being a complete stranger who I struggle to understand I was in a relationship with at all (based on how time has changed me as a person). If I ever see him, which is rare, I don't know him at all (and we were together for over 15 years).

I can also look back and understand how quickly time passes based on how quickly children grow up.

On the more practical side of time I have a problem with people using my time to save theirs - eg someone blocked my car in at work yesterday as they were in a hurry.

Time is very valuable and precious.

sweetilemon

Just saw Alice Through the looking Glass when 'Time' was a being. Where time is not money.

I always wish I could bank and save time...sometimes you don't get enough and sometimes it's too much. I think people are good at wishing their lives away instead of enjoying the heat and now.

Jagraf

My MIL regrets the first 80 years of her life. She is now working out how she wants to live and is doing a good job of it.

Brokeattheminute

Nobody says on their deathbed 'I wish id spent more time in work'

NewShadow

FBaby wrote: »

Many threads here are about people hurting through the pain imposed by someone else. It's about conflict and frustration and posters are often advised to walk away from it all. However much I appreciate that sometimes it is the best thing to do, I can't help but wonder what would happen if more people gave more time for things to get better.

Have you ever experienced a bad relationship, with a family or lover, and with time (and effort) managed to turn it around and make it successful, feeling grateful that you didn't walk away from it?

I guess, the question for me would be, would your relationship with your step-mum be as strong now if you hadn't avoided her for so long?

There are a lot of people (IIRC a 20% increase in the last 10 years) getting divorced over 60.

A number of these will report they've never been happy, and in some cases were actively unhappy, but kept working at it and being miserable because it was 'what you did'.

If you walk away from a situation - you can always walk back.

If you stay in a tense and unhappy situation, it's hard to make it better without distance, because you can't see past the hatred and the negative habits that have built up.

FBaby

Jagraf, I'm really sorry you feel this way about your relationship. Can relate to the car blocking wasting your time!

I think what I was trying to express in my initial post (badly as always!) is that I read a lot of posts here about people asking about what actions they should take to change a situation when I often think that the best thing they could do is nothing and let time do its bit!

The example that I gave with my SM is to show that all that energy I wasted hating her could have been put to better use as in the end, it turned out to be that, just a waste (although of course, it's the same for her).

Another example is how I once got into a massive fight with a colleague of mine after months of frustration rising up to the point where I couldn't take it any longer. During that time, I felt that there were nasty and treating me totally unfairly and that something needed to be done about it, hence the confrontation. Yet doing so was emotionally draining and really didn't help. What did was to let time go by because indeed, as months went by, and we experienced different situations, the mutual frustration gradually receded to the point where years later, we have actually become close colleagues and it's hard to acknowledge that at some point, we'd been so stupid as to be at logged-heads with each other over what now feels like nothing (as a matter, can't even remember in detail what the issue was!)

I think we evolve in a time when we feel in need to control everything and therefore trusting that time might make things better without any of our direct doing is hard to accept. A friend of mine said that the NHS rarely offered hospital appointments under 6 weeks because in a large number of cases, people will naturally feel better by then, but at the time, they felt that they had to do something to feel better. I can relate to this!