Reconnecting with old friends after 20 years

Panda78

We were close at school, but drifted apart at college because we started to become different people, as you grow up etc over time. That's why i'm reluctant to start anything now.

One of the reasons i don't use Facebook is because i don't want to be contacted by old school friends, who clearly have not wanted to keep in actual contact over the years, but seem to want to email and 'friend' me etc!

I guess this is typical me...i always worry about what other people think and end up doing things i don't want to do.

spadoosh

pigpen wrote: »

I have very little in common with my (3) friends.. the chances of having something in common with someone from the past is highly unlikely. I had 450+ people in my year at high school.. I had little in common with 99% of them while I was there! We were the same age and went to the same school and I was even friends with some.. I am still friends with one but our lives are very different!

So your saying you dont have to have things in common to be friends? Seems like a bit of an oxymoron raising this issue against my post?

@ the OP, it sounds like you dont want to meet up. Dont. If you bump into her again say you lost/forgot the email and give her yours instead.

pigpen

spadoosh wrote: »

So your saying you dont have to have things in common to be friends?

no, not really.. and certainly just because you are the same age and went to the same school does not mean you would ever have been or ever could be friends .. friendships fail for a reason.. like relationships so why go back to dredge over all the old crap? Pointless exercise with 7 billion people on the planet I'm sure finding someone else won't be that hard.

I can't actually think of anything my 1 school friend and I have in common other than a love of lunch!

harrys_nan

funny enough, I met up with an old friend today for coffee. It was lovely to have a good natter and we are meeting up again. It was like we only saw each other the other week.
I think we last saw each other in about 1976, both left work to have our children and yes we got back in touch through Facebook.
What have you got to lose? You either get a friend back in your life or you will just drift apart again,

JIL

I met a school best friend that I hadn't seen for some years we were close at school, I went on holiday with her and her parents a few times, she was at a loose end and came round to visit, we reconnected and got on really well. We went out a few times and visited each other and then we just seemed to drift apart.

A few years later I met her in a supermarket, she seemed really pleased to see me and was really chatty, she asked me to visit saying she was in every evening and that she would love to see me.
So a few nights later I did just that, only she wasn't alone she had a new boyfriend and I felt quite the gooseberry as they sat on each others knee, kissing and cuddling. I made a hasty exit and haven't seen her since.
Funnily enough my daughter met her daughter through a friend of a friend and invited me to her surprise 50th birthday party. I politely declined. Some things are best left in the past.

shannonhill

I think it's just natural. I meet some of my old friends from time to time, and while we're happy to have a chat on old days and other friends, we rarely meetup for the purpose of renewing the friendship. Unless we were that close in the past, that is.

I think it's completely ok not to have to meetup if it's uncomfortable.

samroo

I had a school reunion last year when we were all turning 50. It was a great night and now a few of us occasionally meet up. Its nice to see people again but there's no expectations on anyonevto attend every event. As my kids would say "take a chill pill or have a cup of calm"

cadon

The question is, why haven't you seen each other in 20 years?

If circumstances stopped you from seeing each other (e.g. if one of you moved and you weren't close enough at that juncture for it to warrant making an effort), then give it a go.

However, if you actively chose to cut her from your life, it may be a good idea sticking to breezy and insincere declarations of "How are you you? We should have coffee soon!" each time you bump into her in person. Which may be never again.