buying with a "friend"?

Jhoney_2

beeza650 wrote: »

Because she has the safety net of a home she likes if it doesn't work out

You have a rather bullish attitude to obvious and potentially imminent risk, but it is interesting that you are (both) planning for what appears to be a relationship breakdown in the future that hasn't arisen yet?

Again going with your expressed notion of keeping things simple, rather than a loan and huge stake in her home and asser, why do you not just let her live with you rent free, so that she can pay her own rent at her own place?

There must be someone- perhaps in her own family - who could live there bills only whilst they save to get a home of their own - sort of a house sitting arrangement although I must confess I have no personal idea if that's possible.

Popping in there a few random times a day/week with the odd stay over ect would not be 'empty' anyway, there is information regarding what is construed as unoccupied by lender/HA in her documents I am sure.

You say it will be a loan, yet you refer to yourself as the person asking the 'lodgers' to leave, you benefitting from the sale value, you charging rent to her etc etc and looking into cohabitation agreements - to protect your own asset. It doesn't read very well to be honest.

Perhaps the now and the 'what ifs' have become tangled or blurred, but if you say you wish to do what's best for your daughter AND her mum, you should really not continue down the path you are going.

Being a good parent to your child is going to take compromise and a great deal of selflessness from you both. Start with what she truly needs and work backwards from there. However unintended, it does seem a bit like she is being retrofitted into the desired outcomes of each of you.

Sorry to all for the longwinded post.

beeza650

Appreciate the last two posts and the sentiment, I'm not going to say "read it all again" but there are a couple of misinterpreted points - either way it's not important is you're both talking about relationships and being good parents.
BUT....and it's a very big but.
We (very much WE not just me) have the same attitude, we want to give it a go in the new house - simple as that. If she didn't want to then she wouldn't leave here. We both know there's a risk it won't work and unlike most people are planning for that.
For our daughter what I've been suggesting is best.....she has parents living together ....and in the worst case scenario has parents living fairly close to each other with the mother in a home she already likes and can afford (because 65% is loan from the father and thus flexible).
As it stands, there's no way she could sell and buy this again on her own.
When she lives with me it will be rent free - it will be our home. She will contribute to the home in the say way any couple who live together do.

tlc678910

Hi,
I don't think you are really open to other ideas. I'm sure you mean't to use the forum to seek advice but what you actually have done is told us that you intend to buy a chunk of your partners property so that if your relationship fails she can move back there, you will own the chunk that you bought and if she moves back she will pay you rent if possible. You say you will waive this if your partner has financial difficulties but it is easy to imagine many difficulties.

You seem to want to live as "man and wife" as it were but if anything goes wrong to ensure that you can both go back to your old lives and that you don't lose out financially. It seems your partner will have neither a stake in the new house nor any more of her shared ownership property than she currently has over time.

So here is an incredibly simple idea for your consideration.

As you seem able to afford it why not buy the other portion of your partners home for her and in her name? She then has real security as you will have your home and she will have hers. If you do split it may actually save a lot of acrimony as there are no complications. While you live as a couple and family any rent money will be in the communal pot anyway and if you were to split asking for rent or your loan back is going to get very nasty.

If you split while your daughter was under 18 your partner would likely be awarded child maintenance from you anyway so rather than paying you rent it is more likely that you would be paying hers.

Tlc

beeza650

She would in the worst case scenario be paying interest in the loan instead of rent she pays the housing association with the added benefit that I have very different drivers to Catalyst.
Yes, I do not want to loose out financially, I want my daughter to have a good life but that doesn't have to mean over supporting her mother if we split.
The home will be in her name though, if possible , the loan will secured against it, yes I could give her 150 grand now but why, how is that fair if we split up? If she wanted to repay some of the loan then it would be just like staircaising without the fees for her.
No child maintenance will be awarded, I will support my child totally of my own volition.

I have no desire to get into buy to let or property. This is about ensuring my daughter has a nice other home and my partner doesn't put her house on the line and lose her precarious foot on the housing ladder. I hope it will be great in the new place and she will sell here in years to come but in case that doesn't happen.....

tlc678910

OK I do see where you are coming from.

You could split up in a year and you don't want to have given away 150K - reasonable I agree.

Perhaps you could give some thought to further into the future though. I think it would be reasonable if you did gift her equity over time.

What if you separate in 20 years having never married? On the one hand you could say that she continues to own her share and you own yours but on the other hand while most people don't have a fall back house families do usually build their assets together over a life time rather than ring fence what is mine and what is yours.

If your partner was in the more usual position of contributing to a household with a joint mortgage (even as the lower earner or after spending a period of time as chief childcare and homemaker) in 20 years time she could expect to own half of the family home rather than a small portion of a shared ownership property that she already had as a young woman.

While your partner benefits from your wealth in the short term (in that you can afford to buy a comfortable home and hang on to her old home just in case) in the long term if she is not careful it could be to her detriment if you were to separate i.e. she could be 50 with no more assets than she has today despite contributing to your joint home and lifestyle whether in money or time/effort/child raising.

Tlc