Concerned For A Widowed Friend

bluelass

A very good friend of mine who is the same age lost her husband in a tragic accident 21 months ago.
She is very comfortable as her husband owned a refrigeration business and she has her own career as a book keeper.
Over the last few months since just before Christmas a older man who looks in his late fifties has been making unwanted advances towards her when she goes out to a quiz night we attend.
He isn't on the team but drinks in the same pub and he has heard she is a well to do lady from someone which is no business of his at all.
She is 37 and will be 38 later this year like myself so she and myself cannot understand why he thinks she would have any interest in him whatsoever.
He is always asking to see her home in the taxi she gets home even though he only lives round the corner from said pub and it is obvious he wants to get into her home and try to win her around.
She has made it clear she is not interested in him and last week she phoned me to say he had called around at hers with flowers but she told him no thanks and he got upset when she asked him to leave.
Members of the quiz have told us he has been on the sick for years and even joked he thinks she is rich and after her for money.
He lives alone in a council flat so we are told. Her daughter who is only 5 has told her someone is hanging around in the mornings when they get ready to leave for school.
We are due to go to the quiz tomorrow evening and my friend is planning to tell him to leave her alone and she wants me to be stood with her as a witness when she does it.
My friend has told me if it doesn't stop then she might have to just let the local police know in case it gets a bit out of hand.
But what could they do has he done anything illegal?. She has told him to stop it before but he thinks she is just playing hard to get.
Im worried about it has he does seem a bit seedy but its her decision to involve the law but I don't think they could do anything unless he does something like make threats etc.
She is worried that they might think she has led him on in some way but she doesn't even speak to or look at him.
It is worrying how he found out where she lives since its over a mile away from where we go.
Anyone with experience of this type of thing what is the best course of action to take please.
No im not trolling just concerned about what to do tomorrow night.

duchy

So your question is should your friend report a man to the police because he is unemployed ?

Must be a bluelass thread

pigpen

duchy wrote: »

So your question is should your friend report a man to the police because he is unemployed ?

Must be a bluelass thread

no silly.. it is how is he interested in this 'friend' when Bluelass is on the scene?? hahahaha

Bryando

Sure letting the Police know would help. Here in Scotland if a person does something at least twice then an Interdict known in England as a Injunction could be applied for. Pretty certain the law would be on the side of your friend. Fairly alarming behaviour from this man and it's best to nip it now than have months of anxiety on top of what must be a very unpleasant time.

Pollycat

bluelass wrote: »

He isn't on the team but drinks in the same pub and he has heard she is a well to do lady from someone which is no business of his at all.

How do you know he's heard that?
Maybe he just fancies her - nothing at all to do with her money.

bluelass wrote: »

He is always asking to see her home in the taxi she gets home even though he only lives round the corner from said pub and it is obvious he wants to get into her home and try to win her around.
She has made it clear she is not interested in him and last week she phoned me to say he had called around at hers with flowers but she told him no thanks and he got upset when she asked him to leave.

Maybe she has not made it clear enough.

bluelass wrote: »

No im not trolling just concerned about what to do tomorrow night.

Why do you need to do anything?.
Let your friend handle it - you've said she intends to tell him to leave her alone and wants you to be witness to that conversation.

thorsoak

Here we go again ......Bluelass - just keep your nose out of other people's business.

Person_one

A book keeper?

Georgiegirl256

Why oh why do people encourage her and ask her questions as in believing it's real? Every. Single. Time. :doh:

suki1964

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Why oh why do people encourage her and ask her questions as in believing it's real? Every. Single. Time. :doh:

Awww come on Georgiegirl, I love a bluelass thread. Although I have to admit this is one her her tamer ones ( the ones posted in the early hours usually turn into classics )I'm sure we will get a giggle from it all the same

Mojisola

bluelass wrote: »

She has made it clear she is not interested in him and last week she phoned me to say he had called around at hers with flowers but she told him no thanks and he got upset when she asked him to leave.

If he goes to the house again, she shouldn't open the door.

Her daughter who is only 5 has told her someone is hanging around in the mornings when they get ready to leave for school.

That's concerning - if she has seen him as well, I would consider contacting the police.

We are due to go to the quiz tomorrow evening and my friend is planning to tell him to leave her alone and she wants me to be stood with her as a witness when she does it.

Good for her - I would also record it.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

duchy

I'm intrigued that a five year old notices a stranger hanging around outside the house when leaving for school but the parent doesn't. Perhaps the five year old walks to school alone ? Did this stranger have a big red trolly he was pushing......or maybe a milk float ?