Not wanting a dog

missbiggles1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The OP does look after the dog and said she was going to try and bond with it.
Her one mistake was to agree to having it in the first place.
I take your point about the effect on the children.

I agree that the family members who wanted the dog should do the majority of the work involved but I don't think it's necessary for her to love it - that would be a bonus.

elizabethhull

I loathe dogs, and would never have one, but I feel sorry for the poor mutt who is now an unwanted smelly bone of contention ! It really is not his fault, and surely he can be trained (clicker training) not to go on sofas or beds. I have various friends with different types of dogs (who know not to bother coming for a pat - the dogs, that is, not the friends - lol !!), and they are largely VERY well trained, and both dogs and humans seem very happy with this.

But I would say, having no pets at all would be a great shame. My husband doesn't really like any pets (too many poorly looked-after at his parental home), but we got round his dislike with animals that don't roam the house: we've had ant farms, garden snails, and lots of fish (to which one gets surprisingly attached). We have also looked after people's hamsters, rabbits and rats whilst on holiday, provided he didn't have to do anything ! And I have fed neighbour's cats with huge pleasure.

Rebel

A VERY LONG time ago my first wife put me in this position to be fair the dog suffered from separation anxiety and did quite a lot of damage to the family home when left alone (THAT AS SOLE WAGE EARNER I PAID FOR) and eventually I had to let the dog go:( she went back to the breeder I got her from and believe me there were a lot of tears from the children and me, after a few years we eventually got another dog, both of us were in agreement I hasten to add I made certain I wasn't going to go through that loss again, this dog was wonderful, no vices of any sort, well trained going to twice weekly obedience classes etc and in all the ideal family pet.


I was, a year or two later, involved in a major accident and extremely badly injured, my wife of that time decided amongst other things she didn't want to have to struggle to make ends meet and as I was so badly injured I was off work long term so we separated.


After a couple of months my wife of that time decided perhaps a second try would be worthwhile to see if we could make the marriage work, but gave me an ultimatum that the dog had to go if I agreed! (During the separation I left the marital home and took the dog with me whilst I stayed with family until we either resolved our problems or I could make alternative arrangements).


MY only agreement was she was not a nice person and certainly not one I wanted to remain married to under those circumstances in fact we got divorced and a number of years later I found a lady who accepted me as I was and for the person I was and some 25 years plus later we are still together.

My first wife on the other hand has been married 4 times now and still is not happy, she has had dogs since even though in my opinion she shouldn't have but that's another story, this incident even alienated the children from her so think carefully before you make what could be the worst mistake you will EVER make.

P.s. My current wife loves animals even more than me and the divorce although difficult was the best thing that could have happened even though we had children etc and life was far from easy.

helloeeveryone123

Rebel, your ex wife sounds like a lovely woman......NOT.
Glad you found a nice lady !

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

Or it will end up as one of the 5000 or so that will die this year because there aren't enough homes, or it will spend months or years in kennels developing behavioural issues and anxieties or it will end up being passed from home to home for years because it wasn't trained or socialised properly as a pup so presents too much of a challenge for each new owner.

Not if you rehome it yourself, it doesn't have to go via a rescue.

Let me make myself clear, I don't think rehoming the dog is ideal, but sometimes it is the least worst option. If the OP really can't take to it, it may be the ONLY option.

thorsoak

Please, please PLEASE do not rehome ANY animal through Gumtree, Preloved or any other online rehoming website. These websites are used to obtain "bait" animals for dog fighting.

You may not like your dog, but you cannot do that to any living creature.

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Not if you rehome it yourself, it doesn't have to go via a rescue.

Let me make myself clear, I don't think rehoming the dog is ideal, but sometimes it is the least worst option. If the OP really can't take to it, it may be the ONLY option.

As I said earlier, that means another dog in a rescue doesn't get a home though. Rehoming it yourself doesn't actually prevent any of the things I've listed happening further down the line either.

Sometimes rehoming is the best thing for the dog, but every time it happens it contributes to the massive problem of unwanted surplus dogs in this country. It's not a straightforward 'happy ending', ever.

Cleopatra

Dogs are amazing for so many reasons so you, my friend, are a fool for getting your priorities so skewed.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

As I said earlier, that means another dog in a rescue doesn't get a home though. Rehoming it yourself doesn't actually prevent any of the things I've listed happening further down the line though.

Sometimes rehoming is the best thing for the dog, but every time it happens it contributes to the massive problem of unwanted surplus dogs in this country. It's not a straightforward 'happy ending', ever.

I agree with you that there are far too many unwanted and unloved dogs, and whilst I would not describe myself as a dog lover, inasmuch as I would never chose to have one, I do like them and would not wish any one to come to harm .

I know someone who is just about to have a puppy from a litter that have been bred specially, I have suggested she has a rescue dog but she wants this particular breed mix

(I've no reason to believe she won't be a responsible dog owner, however).

On the other hand some friends of ours, who I have never known not to have at least one dog, and whom we have house-sat for on numerous occasions, always have rescue dogs .

If I were to have a dog, I would have one from a rescue. My two cats were from a local rescue, they were sisters from the same litter of a stray cat (who was also rehomed). They are now in their 18th year and still jump and climb. Many more years in them I think!

seven-day-weekend

Cleopatra wrote: »

Dogs are amazing for so many reasons so you, my friend, are a fool for getting your priorities so skewed.

Just because you like dogs so much is no reason to be so rude to a human who came on here asking for help