O/S Daily Thread for Wednesday 20th April 2016

Hard_Up_Hester

Afternoon all
Lamewolf, I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday, I blame it on lack of sleep, I hope you had a good day.

I've just been asked if I'll dog sit this coming weekend, it's for a very small, totally crazy Yorkshire terrier, his owner has been let down at the last minute. My DS works for his owner and was going to do it but DS had forgotten a wedding he is going to. So DS rang me & I've agreed to have the dog, DS says it won't even need walking, I just need to chase it round the garden once a day!

Hugs Hester

candygirl

Happy Bday LW, the crazy staffies send you lots of headbutts and licks
JUDI I hope today goes as well as it can hun, and HILSTEP, i'm so sorry about BUDDY
Just heard that Victoria wood has died! I can't believe it
Am going to sit in tbe garden abd raise a glass to her, as she was one of my faves

Gers

Afternoon everyone.

LW - hope you had the day of your dreams!

I've been across to Arran and what a beautiful day it's been, the best day since early October. It's just glorious, what a difference a touch of sun makes.

My haircut was done and I made the 10.00a.m ferry to Lochranza without any trouble. Visited Brodick Castle and what a splendid place it is too. The grounds are extensive and so well maintained, a huge walled garden and views over the sea. Quite the best castle I've been to. Of course the wonderful weather helped. I bought a clematis there after a long chat with someone who turned out to be the head gardener.

Then I pottled my way to Machrie for a bite to eat in a fabulous cafe with views you wouldn't believe. I think the food is middle-eastern influenced and so tasty. Did a little shopping there and raced my way back to Lochranza just as the ferry was docking for the 2.30 sailing.

I've now got washing on the line and thinking about cutting the grass, but I'll probably do it tomorrow. I've got to wait in for a delivery so might as well make the most of the day.

So sad about Victoria Wood, same age as me - just makes me grateful for my life despite the recent family trauma.

Cup of tea time - I made a flask this morning and forgot to take it with me so it's all ready!

System

Evening all,

happy birthday Lamewolf. I hope you have had a lovely birthday.

Hilstep so sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. Have a ((((hug)))) or two.

Funeral all over and done with. It was a complete farce from start to finish. I'll update you all when ive digested it all and can think clearly but at least there were no arguments.

Have a good evening all.

[Deleted User]

So shocked to hear on the news tonight that Victoria Wood has died. She will be missed her comedy programmes were legend.

Islandmaid

RIP VICTORIA - and Thank you for the tears of utter joy at this, my favourite -

Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.

I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.

No derision!
My decision
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.

This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.

I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.

Don't starve a
Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your Balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.

Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.

Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Share a night of wild romance,
Frenetic,
Poetic!
This could be your last big chance

To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.

Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.

Be drastic
Gymnastic.
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.

Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.

No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
Embarrassed.
I wish you hadn't picked on me.

No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.

Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:

Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight

Gers

Islandmaid wrote: »

RIP VICTORIA - and Thank you for the tears of utter joy at this, my favourite -

Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.

I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.

No derision!
My decision
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.

This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.

I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.

Don't starve a
Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your Balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.

Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.

Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Share a night of wild romance,
Frenetic,
Poetic!
This could be your last big chance

To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.

Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.

Be drastic
Gymnastic.
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.

Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.

No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
Embarrassed.
I wish you hadn't picked on me.

No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.

Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:

Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight

F.A.B.ulous. Thanks Islandmaid. X

LameWolf

Hilstep sorry to hear about Buddy - sleep well, little cat.

Judi I bet you're glad to get today behind you; at least there weren't any arguments, that's something to be grateful for, I guess.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes; we've had a quiet day - necessary trip to Mr M this morning, and a swift pint in the Ship Ashore pub (wheelchair-friendly place). Then a very exciting tea - veggie hot-dogs in HM bread!:D
However - best bit of the day was when Alfie arrived; he's here for five days. He's a lovely chap; Ridgeback/Collie cross, lovely nature, and good as gold.

[Deleted User]

Good evening everyone ,like me, I think we are all saddened by the news of the loss of a fabulously funny lady Victoria Wood who brought so much joy to us all.

I remember her being the singer on 'Start the Week' years ago on Radio Four, and she was just so talented and down to earth. So the dreaded Big 'C' has claimed yet another life. My DD texted me to say that in July when we do the Race for Life we will add her name to the others on our panel of honour for folk who sadly didn't get the chance I have had to beat this awful illness.

This will go on the back and front of our pink Tee shirts.Her name will be added to the other six names of friends and relatives that we know who just didn't make it. I am hoping that my big brother who is fighting myeloma himself won't be on there. Such a dreadful discease which, with enough cash, in the 21st century we should be able to cure.

I wish that governments would spend as much on curing folk, as trying to kill them with bombs and guns, sorry chums, rant over ,but I do feel so strongly about this
R.I.P Funny Girl.

Today my friend and I went to see the Pugin church in Cheadle, and it was beautiful, I lit a candle for my brother.

Then we drove to Stoke-on-Trent and had several hours wandering around the Stoke Museum and Art gallery, free entrance which was nice .Then we tried the museum cafe which was even nicer for lunch,and had Staffordshire filled oatcakes.Rather like wholemeal pancakes ,very tasty I must admit, and with a pot of tea very reasonable at just over £4.00.

After a mooch around the city shops it was such a nice day we wended our way to Rudyard Lake and walked up to the visitor's centre.sat and had an ice cream and watched some boy scouts larking around on the jetty. Gorgeous weather this afternoon. Its been so nice, and with all the worry about my brother, its as well that I am being kept busy by my pal.
Cold is still a bit grotty, but it can only get better as the saying goes.

Just going to make a cuppa for us both with a slice of swiss roll

Hope everyone has a good evening

Cheers chums
JackieO xx

candygirl

I loved Victoria Wood, especially in Housewife 41.It was brill