Abusive spineless boss - what to do

Pancakesss

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm genuinely not surprised he snapped, and whilst that's totally unprofessional, I can see why. You were in essence stalking him for the last few days.

It is his company, and it sounds like no one got their bonus. He should've been clearer with you.

You need to work your notice.

Using the 'I'm a woman and he's a man argument' is quite sad

I think you mistook the reason why i mentioned the that that he's and man and i'm a woman. I mentioned it to highlight his behaviour frightened me. You may not feel threatened if someone the same size lurches forwards towards you hurling abuse, but i only wanted to describe why as someone of a smaller statue, i was. Maybe it was my mistake to mention gender..

Please note i did not stalk him, i went in to his office at a time he scheduled. He kept telling me to cone back later in the day, so i did.

Thank you for everyones replies. I really appreciate it. I understand bonuses are not guaranteed, i was annoyed that because it states its on personal performance, i was never given the chance to work towards it as i ws never given official targets which i did press for. I feel that he had never intended to ever give the bonus so it should not have been used as an incentive at interview stage.

motorguy

Pancakesss wrote: »

I think you mistook the reason why i mentioned the that that he's and man and i'm a woman. I mentioned it to highlight his behaviour frightened me. You may not feel threatened if someone the same size lurches forwards towards you hurling abuse, but i only wanted to describe why as someone of a smaller statue, i was. Maybe it was my mistake to mention gender..

Please note i did not stalk him, i went in to his office at a time he scheduled. He kept telling me to cone back later in the day, so i did.

Thank you for everyones replies. I really appreciate it. I understand bonuses are not guaranteed, i was annoyed that because it states its on personal performance, i was never given the chance to work towards it as i ws never given official targets which i did press for. I feel that he had never intended to ever give the bonus so it should not have been used as an incentive at interview stage.

He was spineless for not telling you that there would be no bonus forthcoming and has opted to defer then avoid you rather than tell you.

It is a common problem in a small company where the "boss" is the owner and they run things how they see fit, unlike by process as you would get in a larger company.

I dont think theres much you can do RE: his verbal abuse - its not like you can report him to the HR department. You could try for constructive dismissal once you've left on the basis of him with holding a bonus you feel you were promised or his swearing, intimidation, etc, but to be honest you're opening a huge can of worms by doing that and it will become a mud slinging match as he will drag up 1,000 things you did "wrong" in his eyes.

I think you've done the right thing by resigning. I think under the circumstances working on there would be intolerable.

I would personally stick to the 3 months notice, be polite, do what you need to during that time and look for other work.

If he wants to terminate your employment earlier, such as "sure why dont you just go now", make sure its on the basis of pay in lieu of notice.

Be careful RE: future references. He sounds like the type could be a !!!! about it. See if theres a colleague or a manager there who could give you a reference.

motorguy

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm genuinely not surprised he snapped, and whilst that's totally unprofessional, I can see why. You were in essence stalking him for the last few days.

It is his company, and it sounds like no one got their bonus. He should've been clearer with you.

You need to work your notice.

Using the 'I'm a woman and he's a man argument' is quite sad

I dont think its unreasonable for your manager to keep an appointment you've been asking for, do you? Granted it became a game of cat and mouse, but the manager should never have allowed it to get that far.

Likewise i took it that the O/P was intimidated by a 6ft 4 man shouting down at her, rather than it being female / male.

motorguy

sangie595 wrote: »

Sorry - am actually very pushy and I don't think you were. But the answer is, unless there was something specific in the contract, then it was discretionary. "Annual" doesn't cut it. It needs to say that you are going to be paid a bonus and when. You have one years employment, so you have no recall to unfair dismissal - although, to be fair, even if you had two years you wouldn't either. because you haven't taken this through a grievance process. You quit. And that is it. Unless you can prove it is owed to you, it is over. Sorry, but you should move on.

I've worked in many companies where there is a discretionary annual bonus, and if its not being paid theres a communication in advance to say so.

It does sound like the O/P was led to believe initially that it was payable, rather than it simply be stated this was discretionary and subject to company performance.

The manager needed to manage expectations in advance and didnt.

jobbingmusician

Is there no-one above this idiot? No board? If there is, you still have the option of raising a grievance. It may not be helpful to do that at this point, but see what happens next week - it may well be that the idiot is shocked by your resignation letter and will want to talk......

matttye

Guy needs to grow a pair and be honest with you. If there's no bonus he should say so rather than stringing you along.

You were only as persistent as you were because of all his broken promises. If he had told you firmly that there was no bonus and no discussion you could've either accepted that or left.

stator

Put your grievance in writing, not emotion but just matter of fact.
Offer a resolution if you can think of one. You could offer arbitration if you might consider still working there, or over the dispute regarding the bonus you feel you are owed.
Say that you will work your notice period unless requested otherwise.
And start looking for a new job.

You could always try constructive dismissal but I doubt you have much grounds.

bearcat16

As soon as you realised he was avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious early on, that should've been the point where you said to yourself "ok, so there's no bonus. Now I have to decide whether or not that's a deal-breaker.

Do I like this job enough to continue without the bonus? If yes, fine. Maybe it'll materialise next year, maybe not.

If not, then I'll calmly and discreetly find another job and then leave"

Pushing and pushing like you did, while understandable, is not what I would have done, because now your options are narrower.

It sounds to me like, even without the bonus fiasco, you don't much like working there for this bloke, in which case it's a "life's too short" situation anyway, so moving on is the right thing.

You could go down the tribunal route if you felt terribly treated, but honestly who has the time and energy for that! Better to just get on with you life in a new job as quickly and painlessly as possible, in my humble opinion.

Good luck whatever you do.

pinkshoes

bearcat16 wrote: »

As soon as you realised he was avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious early on, that should've been the point where you said to yourself "ok, so there's no bonus. Now I have to decide whether or not that's a deal-breaker.
.

I disagree.

The manager repeatedly gave the OP timescales for when the bonus would be discussed and targets given.

Sounds to me like there never was a bonus, but it was used just to recruit.

As it formed part of the agreed contract, the OP was right to politely chase it up.

My DH has the same issue at work where the manager promises a meeting date to discuss a pay rise or promotion, then it gets postponed.

I don't think I would want to go back to a verbally abusive boss. I'm gutsy though, so if it were me, I would probably go in in Monday and demand an apology. I would then negotiate whether i had to work the notice period, and perhaps negotiate an agreement that any reference woukd just refer to the time you worked there.

Tiddlywinks

pinkshoes wrote: »

...... so if it were me, I would probably go in in Monday and demand an apology. I would then negotiate whether i had to work the notice period, and perhaps negotiate an agreement that any reference woukd just refer to the time you worked there.

The trouble with demanding things is that it's aggressive and keeps feelings running high - that won't help negotiations over a future reference will it?

The OP is in a position of weakness and so a more conciliatory approach should be adopted.