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Abusive spineless boss - what to do

Pancakesss
Posts: 39 Forumite

Hi all,
I'm hoping to just get a few opinions if that is ok. Sorry this is a little long. I had a 'disagreement' with my manager today, which resulted in me handing my notice in.
A year ago today I started my first day at this company. The company is quite small, with floor staff and just 5 office staff. I was offered a marketing manager position with £x salary a year plus 10% performance based bonus (as written in my offer letter).
In the first week i started in April 2015, I asked my direct manager (who is the owner/managing director of the business) what my targets were to achieve that 10% bonus. He said we can talk about that once I settle in a little bit. I brought this up again in July in a casual manner, to say that it will really help me prioritise workload and understand what his expectations are. He said that everyone has their annual review in October so we can discuss it then, but he was happy with me so far. Come october we did the review, I was scored 'outstanding and above expectations' on pretty much all categories, and was told to carry on as I am doing. I mentioned about my bonus review, he said we can talk about it in december as they pay bonuses then. All this time i thought i was on the right track to getting the bonus since he wouldnt give me a clear structure of targets. Come December, he asked me to wait until March when the year end figures come in and he will definitely talk to me about it then. Youve guessed it.. come march, he said he usually pays bonus out at Christmas!! :mad:
I was always polite, and always happy to help others, problem solve for him etc.. and i was never pushy. But obviously its been year end now and I've got na-da.
In the past few weeks i upped it a little on the persistent front, last friday asking him to finally agree to a date to discuss my bonus, he said thursday this week. Thursday came, i went in to his office and he said he was busy and come back later. I tried again and again, but it was obvious he was actively avoiding me. Everytime i got up from my desk he will walk out of his office using the other door. Or pick up the phone to make a phone call. He would avoid me in the corridors. When he left yesterday i caught him on the way out and he said we will sit down today (Friday) after lunch. Yep, i went in after lunch and he used the same tricks, said he had a meeting (but i saw him wandering around the production floor/reception/other areas aimlessly, anything to not be in his office with me). Towards the end of the day i was clearly quite upset by now, feeling like I've been fobbed off for a year. I knocked and went into his office at 3:30pm and asked if I can have a word, he said he's got a meeting. After another hour of wandering around again aimlessly, he finaly came back into his office and proceeded to put his coat on to leave. I asked if I can have a quick word, please, i will really appreciate it if I didnt have it hanging over me at the weekend, he said no, hes going home. I asked again saying please (visibly getting really upset) and then he full out lurched towards me with a finger pointing at me and screamed 'the world does not revolve around you!!! its my company!!!'. Accompanied with a lot of swearing and verbal abuse. At this point I found myself actually afraid as i am only a small female. He's a big 6ft 4 man. I left my prepared resignation letter sandwiched in my notepad on his desk and just muttered sorry before i burst into tears and walked back to my desk whilst he just stood up and left. His office door was open so all my other colleagues heard everything.
It is not unusual for us staff to get verbal abuse from him every now again from him but not to that extent. He runs the company depending on his mood.
Please can anyone give any sort of advice as what i should do next/? i am far too humiliated, frightened and upset to go into work on Monday. I have a 3 month notice period in my contract, do i need to honour this since he broke the contract in the first place by not even allowing me to even try to achiave the 10% bonus stated in my offer letter? I cant face going back in.
is there anything i should do regarding the verbal attack?
many thanks
I'm hoping to just get a few opinions if that is ok. Sorry this is a little long. I had a 'disagreement' with my manager today, which resulted in me handing my notice in.
A year ago today I started my first day at this company. The company is quite small, with floor staff and just 5 office staff. I was offered a marketing manager position with £x salary a year plus 10% performance based bonus (as written in my offer letter).
In the first week i started in April 2015, I asked my direct manager (who is the owner/managing director of the business) what my targets were to achieve that 10% bonus. He said we can talk about that once I settle in a little bit. I brought this up again in July in a casual manner, to say that it will really help me prioritise workload and understand what his expectations are. He said that everyone has their annual review in October so we can discuss it then, but he was happy with me so far. Come october we did the review, I was scored 'outstanding and above expectations' on pretty much all categories, and was told to carry on as I am doing. I mentioned about my bonus review, he said we can talk about it in december as they pay bonuses then. All this time i thought i was on the right track to getting the bonus since he wouldnt give me a clear structure of targets. Come December, he asked me to wait until March when the year end figures come in and he will definitely talk to me about it then. Youve guessed it.. come march, he said he usually pays bonus out at Christmas!! :mad:
I was always polite, and always happy to help others, problem solve for him etc.. and i was never pushy. But obviously its been year end now and I've got na-da.
In the past few weeks i upped it a little on the persistent front, last friday asking him to finally agree to a date to discuss my bonus, he said thursday this week. Thursday came, i went in to his office and he said he was busy and come back later. I tried again and again, but it was obvious he was actively avoiding me. Everytime i got up from my desk he will walk out of his office using the other door. Or pick up the phone to make a phone call. He would avoid me in the corridors. When he left yesterday i caught him on the way out and he said we will sit down today (Friday) after lunch. Yep, i went in after lunch and he used the same tricks, said he had a meeting (but i saw him wandering around the production floor/reception/other areas aimlessly, anything to not be in his office with me). Towards the end of the day i was clearly quite upset by now, feeling like I've been fobbed off for a year. I knocked and went into his office at 3:30pm and asked if I can have a word, he said he's got a meeting. After another hour of wandering around again aimlessly, he finaly came back into his office and proceeded to put his coat on to leave. I asked if I can have a quick word, please, i will really appreciate it if I didnt have it hanging over me at the weekend, he said no, hes going home. I asked again saying please (visibly getting really upset) and then he full out lurched towards me with a finger pointing at me and screamed 'the world does not revolve around you!!! its my company!!!'. Accompanied with a lot of swearing and verbal abuse. At this point I found myself actually afraid as i am only a small female. He's a big 6ft 4 man. I left my prepared resignation letter sandwiched in my notepad on his desk and just muttered sorry before i burst into tears and walked back to my desk whilst he just stood up and left. His office door was open so all my other colleagues heard everything.
It is not unusual for us staff to get verbal abuse from him every now again from him but not to that extent. He runs the company depending on his mood.
Please can anyone give any sort of advice as what i should do next/? i am far too humiliated, frightened and upset to go into work on Monday. I have a 3 month notice period in my contract, do i need to honour this since he broke the contract in the first place by not even allowing me to even try to achiave the 10% bonus stated in my offer letter? I cant face going back in.

many thanks
0
Comments
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I am in a similar position. I was "promised" a payrise and it did not materialise. See my post here: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5300709
Bonuses are usually at your bosses discretion in my experience (unless explicitly specified in the contract of employment). If the company is doing well then you may get a bonus if you have exceeded expectations. I would just move on. It sounds like you were too confident. I would not be that confident having only worked there for one year. Just my opinion.
What does your contract say?0 -
Thanks for the reply
I brought the bonus issue up with my boss 4 times in the past year. I don't see this as pushy if the '10% annual bonus based on personal performance' was one of the main reasons why i left my old job? This bonus was annual so i thought it made sense to bring this up especially if bonuses 'are usually paid at Xmas'. thanks0 -
Pancakesss wrote: »Thanks for the reply
I brought the bonus issue up with my boss 4 times in the past year. I don't see this as pushy if the '10% annual bonus based on personal performance' was one of the main reasons why i left my old job? This bonus was annual so i thought it made sense to bring this up especially if bonuses 'are usually paid at Xmas'. thanks
So you were polite and willing to help your boss? That is what you are paid to do isn't it? If you were not willing to help then they would let you go and find someone who was.
If you are not happy then just hand in your notice and move on (after finding another job). If you are indispensable then you may be offered rise or the bonus to stay? However, you may not. It is a risk.
Personally I would honour the three month notice period as you agreed to it when you signed the contract of employment.
In my experience bonuses are at the discretion of your boss, so they have not done anything wrong - it is up to them whether they give you a bonus. Sometimes they cannot give you a bonus because of company performance i.e. you cannot get blood out of a stone.
However, if targets are explicitly specified in your contract of employment and you have exceeded those specific targets then I would take issue.0 -
Pancakesss wrote: »Hi all,
I'm hoping to just get a few opinions if that is ok.
Sorry this is a little long.
I had a 'disagreement' with my manager today, which resulted in me handing my notice in.
A year ago today I started my first day at this company. The company is quite small, with floor staff and just 5 office staff.
I was offered a marketing manager position with £x salary a year plus 10% performance based bonus (as written in my offer letter).
In the first week i started in April 2015, I asked my direct manager (who is the owner/managing director of the business) what my targets were to achieve that 10% bonus. He said we can talk about that once I settle in a little bit.
I brought this up again in July in a casual manner, to say that it will really help me prioritise workload and understand what his expectations are. He said that everyone has their annual review in October so we can discuss it then, but he was happy with me so far.
Come october we did the review, I was scored 'outstanding and above expectations' on pretty much all categories, and was told to carry on as I am doing. I mentioned about my bonus review, he said we can talk about it in december as they pay bonuses then.
All this time i thought i was on the right track to getting the bonus since he wouldnt give me a clear structure of targets.
Come December, he asked me to wait until March when the year end figures come in and he will definitely talk to me about it then.
Youve guessed it.. come march, he said he usually pays bonus out at Christmas!! :mad:
I was always polite, and always happy to help others, problem solve for him etc.. and i was never pushy. But obviously its been year end now and I've got na-da.
In the past few weeks i upped it a little on the persistent front, last friday asking him to finally agree to a date to discuss my bonus, he said thursday this week. Thursday came, i went in to his office and he said he was busy and come back later.
I tried again and again, but it was obvious he was actively avoiding me. Everytime i got up from my desk he will walk out of his office using the other door. Or pick up the phone to make a phone call. He would avoid me in the corridors.
When he left yesterday i caught him on the way out and he said we will sit down today (Friday) after lunch. Yep, i went in after lunch and he used the same tricks, said he had a meeting (but i saw him wandering around the production floor/reception/other areas aimlessly, anything to not be in his office with me).
Towards the end of the day i was clearly quite upset by now, feeling like I've been fobbed off for a year. I knocked and went into his office at 3:30pm and asked if I can have a word, he said he's got a meeting.
After another hour of wandering around again aimlessly, he finaly came back into his office and proceeded to put his coat on to leave. I asked if I can have a quick word, please, i will really appreciate it if I didnt have it hanging over me at the weekend, he said no, hes going home.
I asked again saying please (visibly getting really upset) and then he full out lurched towards me with a finger pointing at me and screamed 'the world does not revolve around you!!! its my company!!!'. Accompanied with a lot of swearing and verbal abuse.
At this point I found myself actually afraid as i am only a small female. He's a big 6ft 4 man.
I left my prepared resignation letter sandwiched in my notepad on his desk and just muttered sorry before i burst into tears and walked back to my desk whilst he just stood up and left.
His office door was open so all my other colleagues heard everything.
It is not unusual for us staff to get verbal abuse from him every now again from him but not to that extent. He runs the company depending on his mood.
Please can anyone give any sort of advice as what i should do next/? i am far too humiliated, frightened and upset to go into work on Monday.
I have a 3 month notice period in my contract, do i need to honour this since he broke the contract in the first place by not even allowing me to even try to achiave the 10% bonus stated in my offer letter?
I cant face going back in.is there anything i should do regarding the verbal attack?
many thanks
I hope this helps someone to help you.:huh: Don't know what I'm doing, but doing it anyway... :huh:0 -
Sorry - am actually very pushy and I don't think you were. But the answer is, unless there was something specific in the contract, then it was discretionary. "Annual" doesn't cut it. It needs to say that you are going to be paid a bonus and when. You have one years employment, so you have no recall to unfair dismissal - although, to be fair, even if you had two years you wouldn't either. because you haven't taken this through a grievance process. You quit. And that is it. Unless you can prove it is owed to you, it is over. Sorry, but you should move on.0
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thanks again or your reply.
I have handed in my notice already, as i can not put up with any more of his aggressive verbal abuse and mood swings.
My main questions are whether i need to uphold my 3 months notice if he broke the contract by REFUSING to talk about my bonus in my offer letter? And if there is anything i can do about the verbal attack?
many thanks0 -
Pancakesss wrote: »thanks again or your reply.
I have handed in my notice already, as i can not put up with any more of his aggressive verbal abuse and mood swings.
My main questions are whether i need to uphold my 3 months notice if he broke the contract by REFUSING to talk about my bonus in my offer letter? And if there is anything i can do about the verbal attack?
many thanks
There is nothing you can do about a verbal attack. It isn't nice, and I am sorry you had to deal with this. But forget it and move on. You are better than him.0 -
I'm genuinely not surprised he snapped, and whilst that's totally unprofessional, I can see why. You were in essence stalking him for the last few days.
It is his company, and it sounds like no one got their bonus. He should've been clearer with you.
You need to work your notice.
Using the 'I'm a woman and he's a man argument' is quite sad0 -
The problem is that bonus are never owed, even if you've done what you needed to to achieve it. That's why it is a bonus. You made the error to accept the job with the expectations that you would, hence getting particular upset with the clear prospect that you wouldn't. You also made the error to continue to want to talk about it when it became obvious that he was avoiding the discussion. At this stage, you should have reverted to pen and paper and asking for confirmation whether you can expect a bonus this year.
Your boss needs to grow a pair though. All he needed to say was that although very happy with your performance, the business has not done so well this year, and unfortunately, he won't be in a position to give you a bonus this year. End of. Of course it then left you with the decision whether to stay or go, but it wouldn't have resulted in that sort of confrontation.
Go back on Monday, no he didn't break your contract, just stay professional and avoid him for three months. I'm sure he'll be relieved that you are staying away from him anyway. Hopefully, once he realises that you will let the matter drop, he'll apologise.0 -
You've already decided to leave - don't make things worse as any perceived 'attitude' may impact on future references.:hello:0
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