Negligent legal advice cost me my home in divorce

BeingMe

Oh, and what I'm hoping to accomplish is a fair division of assets in light of the new advice. What I wanted from this thread was advice on how the contract would affect my potential case (thank you to those who actually did that). What I didn't expect was posters trying to make me feel that I'm somehow money grabbing for wanting to pursue what I was always entitled to, but didn't know it until now.

BeingMe

I think I can spend a few hours ask focus sing on the injustice when it has completely changed my life. I've had so much to deal with from my ex but always felt powerless knowing I wasn't entitled to anything. This news changes it all. It was all so unnecessary.

However, whilst I'm dwelling a little now, I will put my complaint in next week and then let it go and focus on securing a fair deal for myself and children (well as fair as it can be now I've already prejudiced myself).

FBaby

No reason to report you, I don't believe you are lying, I am just not convinced that your account of the facts are totally accurate.

I can't believe you just asked me why I stayed in an abusive marriage

And this is exactly what I mean. Read what I wrote again. I didn't asked why you stayed in an abusive marriage but why you married an abusive partner. Two very different questions.

It is true that it coming across as if I'm picking holes though, so I won't say anymore but to wish you good luck because frankly, from what you've written, I don't think you have much of a case at all, but I could be totally wrong, so hope to read another thread to say that you managed to get compensation from the solicitor and half the value of the equity of the house or even more.

missbiggles1

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

I do agree with this. Whilst it is annoying, I believe that effort and focus should be directed on resolving things now rather than castigating somebody for a mistake in the past.



Just a thought on this - could a particular ethnic or religious background make this more "the norm", that such ownership traditionally sits with the male of the family?

eta. Above written before I saw OP's reply.

But he wasn't a member of the family, possibly (depending on when the sale occurred) not even by marriage.

BeingMe

Stayed in a marriage, relationship, married an abuser - only subtle differences, because what you were actually implying is that this is somehow my fault and that I shouldn't have married him because he was abusive. As I said, I didn't know he was abusive until after I left.

Prople are focussing heavily on the fact that my family sold him this property. It doesn't matter, it was acquired during a period of cohabitation that now counts as marriage for legal purposes.

BeingMe

Oh, and I'm not asking for compensation from the solicitor or even half the equity. Just a small lump sum to put down as a deposit on a house for me and my children.

FBaby

Stayed in a marriage, relationship, married an abuser - only subtle differences

Not subtle to me at all. If I'd been abused by someone for 12 years, the last thing I would consider doing is marrying them, which is totally different to marrying someone who was loving or ok then, but then became an abuser during the marriage.

because what you were actually implying is that this is somehow my fault and that I shouldn't have married him because he was abusive. As I said, I didn't know he was abusive until after I left.

No, I wasn't implying that it was your fault, I was only trying to understand what would have led you to marry him if he was an abuser, but now you are saying you didn't know if was an abuser, so again, it makes me wonder whether it is him becoming an ex that made him a sudden abuser.

Anyway, as I've said, I won't post any longer as I think ultimately, you will only read and hear what you want to rather than consider all different views on the matter.

BeingMe

Wow, you think this what I want to hear?

He was emotionally abusive - King of the castle according to Lundy Bancroft. Physically abusive - pretty sure I didn't imagine being thrown to the ground on stone steps because I wouldn't give him the keys to my car or the numerous times he kicked and shoved me. Sexually - all the times he had sex with me while I was sleeping or used coercion to get me to sleep with him. Financially - I was on maternity leave and I still had to cover all bills. He !!!!ed all his wages up the wall, didn't pay essential bills and when I was working expected me to cover all the childcare.

Yep, pretty sure he was abusive. I shouldn't have to justify why I stayed but since you asked, my dad is abusive to my mother so it felt normal to me. I married him because we were always going to and I already had children with him which was the bigger commitment in my eyes.

I think actually part of the problem with your 'advice' or take on the situation is that you are judging me by your standards. No not everyone would have accepted the first advice, I did. Not everyone would stay in an abisuve relationship, I did. Not everyone would kick a poster when they're down or victim blame, you do. We're not all the same so perhaps you could imagine circumstances where people might behave differently from you?

Edited to add that what you would have done or the way you THINK a solicitor would give advice is useless to me. What difference does it make why I married him? I'm not asking for advice on this. it already happened, not a lot I can do about it now.

Guest101

As has been said before, and you really need to take note, any solicitor who says it's your house- will lose you your case.

You have an interest in the property. You do not own it.

missbiggles1

BeingMe wrote: »

Stayed in a marriage, relationship, married an abuser - only subtle differences, because what you were actually implying is that this is somehow my fault and that I shouldn't have married him because he was abusive. As I said, I didn't know he was abusive until after I left.

Prople are focussing heavily on the fact that my family sold him this property. It doesn't matter, it was acquired during a period of cohabitation that now counts as marriage for legal purposes.

You mean he started abusing you after you separated?