large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

springdreams wrote: »

My friends and family and I tend to go out for the company rather than the food. A restaurant just happens to be a convenient venue to do this, and people need to eat.

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

As far as I am concerned - a group meal out is "about the Occasion" and meant to be one way of sharing company with person/people one wishes to be with. It's not about the food - that's incidental basically. Someone just having one course (for whatever reason) is still getting the "company" and being part of the occasion.

The 2 posts above express my opinion of dining out perfectly. :T

Jagraf

What if 8 of you go out for a meal, and then 3 of you just have a coke and two of you have soup, and one just wants a pudding. I can't see the restaurant owner being very happy.

On a separate note, there are a group of 6 of us girls (bit older than girls) and we all meet up for each other's birthdays. We are all in different financial situations and prior to going out the person whose birthday it is arranges something after consulting with everyone else. Something is chosen that suits everyone's budget - from morning coffee, to afternoon tea, to a two course meal chosen in advance, to ditching presents and splashing out. None of us drink a lot but it may be that three have a glass of wine and three have a cheaper drink. We all split the bill equally so someone may spend a few more pounds. However, some people drive further, some people give lifts to others, some may spend a bit more on a pressie, so it equals up. In the twenty years if meeting up six times a year, I've never encountered a problem.

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

What if 8 of you go out for a meal, and then 3 of you just have a coke and two of you have soup, and one just wants a pudding. I can't see the restaurant owner being very happy.

If the restaurant is busy then I think you have to order enough to justify your seat. I have been into places that said, during busy times, that you have to at least order a main meal. Some restaurants have also given a time limit, e.g. you must be out by 9pm. However if it's quiet and there are plenty of tables I doubt most restaurants would mind if you just ordered a soup or a Coke.

moneyistooshorttomention

Jagraf wrote: »

On a separate note, there are a group of 6 of us girls (bit older than girls) and we all meet up for each other's birthdays. We are all in different financial situations and prior to going out the person whose birthday it is arranges something after consulting with everyone else. Something is chosen that suits everyone's budget - from morning coffee, to afternoon tea, to a two course meal chosen in advance, to ditching presents and splashing out. None of us drink a lot but it may be that three have a glass of wine and three have a cheaper drink. We all split the bill equally so someone may spend a few more pounds. However, some people drive further, some people give lifts to others, some may spend a bit more on a pressie, so it equals up. In the twenty years if meeting up six times a year, I've never encountered a problem.

By the sound of it you are friends - and things work a bit differently with friends (ie on the "swings and roundabouts" of the relationship generally things should even out of favours done/items they want passed on to them/etc).

In my experience - the times when some Bright Spark suggests splitting the bill it tends to be the case that the people arent actually friends. They are more likely to be a group of work colleagues or acquaintances from an "interest group" or the like. In those circumstances then there isnt that level of "give and take" and "what you lose on the swings you gain on the roundabouts" that there is in a friendship. In one friendship I have - I've had more meals at her house than vice-versa and had quite a few lifts BUT in return I've given her food from my garden/passed on various things to her I knew she wanted/etc - so that's a typical example of a friendship evens out over time.

Georgiegirl256

Jagraf wrote: »

What if 8 of you go out for a meal, and then 3 of you just have a coke and two of you have soup, and one just wants a pudding. I can't see the restaurant owner being very happy.

On a separate note, there are a group of 6 of us girls (bit older than girls) and we all meet up for each other's birthdays. We are all in different financial situations and prior to going out the person whose birthday it is arranges something after consulting with everyone else. Something is chosen that suits everyone's budget - from morning coffee, to afternoon tea, to a two course meal chosen in advance, to ditching presents and splashing out. None of us drink a lot but it may be that three have a glass of wine and three have a cheaper drink. We all split the bill equally so someone may spend a few more pounds. However, some people drive further, some people give lifts to others, some may spend a bit more on a pressie, so it equals up. In the twenty years if meeting up six times a year, I've never encountered a problem.

Everyone's thinking it's all about the budget, and it isn't.

It's the fact that some people deem it wrong to go out and not have the whole shebang. You may have a starter and a main, just a main, a main and a pudding etc, but some people have a problem with that and think you can only be enjoying yourself and the food if you stuff yourself silly....which it fine if you have a big appetite but would be extremely silly indeed if you only have a small appetite. After a starter and a main, I really couldn't (nor would I want to) manage a dessert too.

I enjoy my food and enjoy eating out, but it seems that because I don't have the full 3+ courses then people deem that to be inadequate and that it makes them uncomfortable. Well, that's their problem and their problem alone!

seven-day-weekend

Pollycat wrote: »

You are so very, very wrong (imho, of course). :rotfl:.

If I want to eat, I'll eat at home.

Do you not think that going out for a meal with family or friends is a social occasion?

Yes of course it is, a social occasion involving eating! If I'd just wanted to talk to them, I'd have done that at home! What's the point of going to a restaurant just to talk?

ETA: And it's not about how much or how little you eat. I very rarely have all three courses. It's about going to a restaurant at all when all you want is 'a little soup' or 'just a glass of water'. Why bother? As I say, why go to the cinema if you only watch ten minutes of the film? Or to a museum if you don't appreciate old relics? Just don't see the point. Just go somewhere where you DO enjoy the associated activity.

tibawo

I still remember the first time I went out with a friend and babysitter let me down so she said to bring them. She did make a point that she was not happy to split the bill half half though. She has also since found out I drink like a fish and she doesn't. So good job!

With family we just split the bill per no of people, I think we all tend to eat and drink too much anyway.

As long as it is sorted before you go I think is the key.

Pollycat

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes of course it is, a social occasion involving eating! If I'd just wanted to talk to them, I'd have done that at home! What's the point of going to a restaurant just to talk?

ETA: And it's not about how much or how little you eat. I very rarely have all three courses. It's about going to a restaurant at all when all you want is 'a little soup' or 'just a glass of water'. Why bother? As I say, why go to the cinema if you only watch ten minutes of the film? Or to a museum if you don't appreciate old relics? Just don't see the point. Just go somewhere where you DO enjoy the associated activity.

I don't see the point of going to a restaurant just to eat.

However, as I've posted previously we do cook a lot at home - Italian, Indian, Chinese, Greek (just got a moussaka ready for tonight) - so we rarely go out as a couple to eat.
We can sit at the dining table and eat good food, drink nice wine and chat between ourselves at home.

So when we do go out to eat it's a social occasion for us.

You just don't seem to 'get' that some people want that social occasion even if they don't want to/can't eat much or afford to order much.

That's an attitude that's totally beyond my comprehension.

Your analogies of cinemas & museums miss the point (imho).

Jagraf

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes of course it is, a social occasion involving eating! If I'd just wanted to talk to them, I'd have done that at home! What's the point of going to a restaurant just to talk?

ETA: And it's not about how much or how little you eat. I very rarely have all three courses. It's about going to a restaurant at all when all you want is 'a little soup' or 'just a glass of water'. Why bother? As I say, why go to the cinema if you only watch ten minutes of the film? Or to a museum if you don't appreciate old relics? Just don't see the point. Just go somewhere where you DO enjoy the associated activity.

I agree with you here. I have a rellie who doesn't like eating in public so we don't go for a meal. You go to a restaurant primarily to eat as part of your social occasion, that is what the provider is there to do - serve you food. If you didn't not many restaurants would be in business. Choose a social place relevant to what you want to do.

Restaurants are big business so obviously most people use them for eating. I can't imagine opening a restaurant where you can go just to chat, its just not advertised in that way as it wouldn't be what the majority want.

silvercar

So when we do go out to eat it's a social occasion for us.

You just don't seem to 'get' that some people want that social occasion even if they don't want to/can't eat much or afford to order much.

So those that are enjoying the social occasion (everyone or why would they go), are paying less for the evening out by dint of eating less, than those who eat more? Now who is free loading/

Also when it comes to tips. generally you add say 10%. Yet the waitress served everyone with the same good grace and attitude, but those having cheaper meal contribute less.