Selling House - ex partner won't / can't sign

Badger_Lady

Well, after a ridiculously long struggle (4.5 months!), I'm finally ready to exchange contracts on my old flat in England, but there's a snag.

I originally bought the flat with my partner (100%) mortgage, but the guy wasn't contributing to household expenses and we split up after only a few months. He moved out and I carried on paying the mortgage alone.

All you nice people advised me to get his name taken off, but I was quoted £600 in legal expenses and simply didn't have the cash to spare alongside the hefty mortgage, so I stupidly left it.

Two years later, I relocated for work and agreed a sale on the flat. Ex had to sign the solicitor's instructions, and it took a long time to track him down for this. He was extremely difficult (beyond my expectations), but we eventually came to an agreement and I paid him £360 to agree the sale and relinquish any claim on my equity. That was back in June.

Since that time, Ex has damaged his knee and been unable to continue his cash-in-hand employment. He has had no income, no benefits (he's behind on NI contributions and is on dodgy ground generally), his phone has been cut off and he has sunk into a deep depression, spending all his time in bed. None of his friends saw him for a long time, and we were all concerned that he had been made homeless - thankfully, his landlord is an old friend too and has not persued any route for eviction.

Now, before I continue, let me say that despite our relationship ending I care deeply about this man and worry every day about his condition. I hope he gets better and finds his feet again, but (from previous experience) I don't think anyone can help him do so - at least until his depression lifts enough for him to want to be helped.

However, the reason for this post - my buyers seem to think they can exchange contracts this week. But what will Ex need to do for this to happen? The only way to get hold of him is to visit his home in person (120 miles from me), which he receives as an attack on him, and in his current condition I can't imagine him being capable of signing anything. I'm also worried (selfishly, maybe?) that with his financial status being so extremely poor he will go back on our agreement and demand more money which I simply don't have (having worked 2 jobs to pay the mortgage all this time, all the equity from the flat is going straight into the deposit for my new home).

Has anyone been through something similar before? Is there any way around this whereby Ex doesn't need to be disturbed and I can continue as normal? He won't see a Doctor, let alone a Solicitor, and I'll be lucky if he even answers the door.

Thanks for listening

elvis_girl

Hi Badger Lady,
How did you come to this agreement? Were there solicitors involved? I don't think you'll be able to get round this without ex being disturbed if his name is still on the mortgage/ deeds

Badger_Lady

_elvis_girl wrote:

How did you come to this agreement? Were there solicitors involved? I don't think you'll be able to get round this without ex being disturbed if his name is still on the mortgage/ deeds

No - I kept my solicitor up-to-date with what we were doing, but the agreement wasn't legally binding: it was a verbal contract and the payment one of goodwill (to hurry up the process), since he'd never actually contributed to the mortgage.

I know this situation seems dramatic, but this sort of thing must happen, mustn't it? What if he was physically unwell and doped out on morphine or something? Or what if he had been homeless, therefore we couldn't locate him?

elvis_girl

I'm not sure what would happen if you couldn't locate him, but as far as I'm aware if your name is on the deeds you're entitled to half the proceeds (and most times even if its not). I presume if he couldn't be tracked down it would be something like probate which would take months/ years

B2B-2008

I'm sorry to say that I was in in the situation as you in January with an ex but I was just trying to re-mortgage to my own name after paying the mortgage on my own for two years.

Legal he is entitled to half of any profit and can demand this money from you before he signs. But if he signed a transfer of equality then you may be OK. But I had to re-mortgage to do this as his name had to come off the deeds at the same time.

I hope it all goes well. My ex finally signed all the documents after I reminded him how much debt he had left me in.

Badger_Lady

Thank you... I realise he's legally entitled to proceeds, but hope that he'll realised that he's not morally entitled to them (he has always held scruples above law). Besides, I'm fairly sure that I can go down the litigation route to reclaim back-dated mortgage payments if he does receive the proceeds.

My worry, over and above that, is that he won't respond at all. I spoke to my solicitor at lunchtime and she confirmed that she's sent a copy of the contract to each of us, and that as long as they're both signed and returned we'll be completing on Tuesday.

If he just stays in hiding and does nothing, we won't be able to complete - my buyers will be unable to move into the (already empty) flat, and I'll continue to be liable for mortgage interest of £600 a month on a flat I'm not using.

So, I guess he can just leave me stranded like this forever if he chooses to! No benefit to himself, other than the knowledge that he's badly damaged my future.

Sorry if this sounds a bit doom-and-gloom or even melodramatic but I'm getting rather stressed out about it. After all, it took over a month to convince him to sign the instructions, and that was when he was healthy! He doesn't respond to logic or reason (if he did, he'd pay his outstanding NI contributions of £70 and receive £55 benefits every week in return!).

elvis_girl

What will happen if he doesn't sign (other than you losing the sale)?

Badger_Lady

elvis_girl wrote:

What will happen if he doesn't sign (other than you losing the sale)?

Losing the sale is the problem, and it also means not being able to sell to anyone at all.

If he doesn't sign, I'll have to continue owning this flat for ever (120 miles from where I now live; not a profitable buy-to-let; will stop me from being able to buy my own home).

In other words, nothing will happen if he doesn't sign. I'll be left in the awful situation I'm already in (but it wasn't so bad when it was temporary!).

candygirl

If he is a moral person as you say, surely he will sign anything that comes his way, in recognition of all you did and paid for in the relationship.
I was married to a similar sounding bloke and he knoew what he was entitled to legally when we spilt, but morally due to being a work shy and lazy git knew he was due nothing.That is why I kind of still respect and remain friends with him today.
Could you not take the papers round there for him to sign, I know it's a long way but it would be peace of mind for you.
Good luck x

Badger_Lady

I think I might pop in tomorrow, just to guage the situation... solicitor has posted them directly to him.

Yes, I do think he would see his moral rights normally, but when he's very depressed like this, he (like most people suffering from depression) becomes very selfish. His world just closes up and he can't see any issues wider than his own thoughts, so he's likely to be more inclined to take advantage.

It's silly, I know, but I don't even want any of our friends to know that I've got a car - it's not an expensive one, and I've worked very hard to get it, but it's a lot more than he's got and he would think "if she can afford a car, she can afford to support me". The fact that I'm mortgaged to the hilt with outstanding debts that he helped me build up is irrelevant.

For example, the last time he got depressed, he disappeared from Earth's radar. His poor old Mum called the police in a panic, who promptly broke into my house, smashing down my doors and going through my stuff! He didn't care, he was too busy lying in bed at his house.

I don't want to sound negative about him - I trained as a mental health nurse and understand that these things are symptoms of his illness. I guess that's why I'm asking if there's any clause to get round it if he's simply not well enough to sign.

elvis_girl

I think as Candy Girl says the best option would be to go and see him & then at least you would have the papers in your hand. Also think of it like this once you get this done & dusted you don't have to see him again if you don't want to. Good Luck