Ex will not sell joint mortgaged property and will not buy me out

Hi all,

Looking for some help on advice for my partner.
My partner got a joint mortgage with his ex partner for 19 years, they were never married, they split up and he moved out with nothing.. He left everything behind.
Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we he is now with me and we rent a house ( he is still paying half a mortgage towards his old house) he's asked her numerous of times to sell but she will not agree to anything.
He left her the car, his belongings, furniture, she now has another man living with her and have found out from his son that he's helping her pay her half
My partner has been very reasonable to her there is only her and their son in a big 3 bed house with a extension they both payed for, we have our own baby on the way and cannot see how we can afford anything when he's still paying for the house.
He's decided to stop paying for the mortgage and we do realise this could cause damage to his credit but will do the same to her.. Maybe this will be the final push!
Is this the right thing to do?


  • It isn't the right thing to do if you want to buy a house yourself any time soon as trashing his credit for no reason seems a bonkers idea. Not unless you know 100% the ex can pay it by themselves.

    Do you have an house insurance with legal cover? That or see a solicitor for a free 30 min meeting to write them a letter saying they have x amount of time to buy him out or you'll take them to court for a sale order. The sale order I understand is quite expensive to sort out though but maybe the letter will help focus them on the situation.

    That or just start with a chat again, especially with a child involved, as going solicitor out of the blue might put their backs up and cause more unintended issues.
    MFW OP's 2017 #101 £829.32/£5000
    MFiT-T4 - #46 £0/£45k to reduce mortgage total
    04/16 Mortgage start £153,892.45
    MFW 2015 #63 £4229.71/£3000 - old Mortgage
  • Floxxie
    Floxxie Posts: 2,852 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post First Anniversary
    Definitely get legal advice but one question: is he paying the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance or both? If the latter, then he needs to sort out only paying either half the mortgage or the child maintenance.

    wikivorce.com is the site I always direct people to as there are legally qualified people on there.
    Mortgage start September 2015 £90000 MFiT #06
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,199 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Your partner needs tp speak to a solicotpr. As they weren't married, then he would be looking at applying for an order for sale under ToLATA - it can be done, but can be expensive.

    In the first instnace, the solicitor could write to her, putting foward options (market the proprety, buy out your partner) . depending on what your partner wants to do, he could consider making an offer that he will not seek a share of the equity provided that he is relased from the mortgage - such an offer could be made time limited and expressly on the basis that he reserves the right to pursue a full claim if she does not cooperate, which gives her a big incentive to get things sorted out.
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • Imp
    Imp Posts: 1,035 Forumite
    As it is still half his house, maybe he should move him and you into it. That might focus her mind a bit.
  • How did this situation turn out? I'm interested as my situation is very similar. My partner is paying his ex wife's mortgage and CSA for 2 kids. Now we want to have a baby of our own but the ex is financially crippling him. Any way out of this?
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Was the house part of the divorce settlement? How old are the two children?
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 342.9K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 235K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.9K Life & Family
  • 247.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards