Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

faerielight

jobbing and calley thank you so much for your kind and wise words.it means a lot I always knew that her death would inevitably be so complex far more complex than when my dad died , but it is excruciating . I know I will get through this but it's going to be a very hard grief ahead, not for who she was but who she would never be, the sorry that I will never have. I do believe that we are here to learn lessons and evolve our souls, to remember who we are and to b become love and light , or enlightened.and that possible we have other lifetimes to work out unfinished karma. I believe in a god and angels, which definitely helps

calleyw

faerie,

Massive hugs again.

You have a lot of feelings and thoughts that you need to deal with. And at the moment you are your own number one priority.

I hope that you will be able at some stage to move forward. You don't have to grieve if you don't want to. Nor forgive either. You know what has happened. And you don't have to explain your thoughts or feelings to anyone at all.

You take care and get as much rest as you can.

Yours

Calley X

Izadora

((( Faerie )))

I know you've got a lot to process but try not to think about the disinheritance part of things. If it is what she chose to do then please don't see it as any kind of reflection on you or your worth, it's nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.

tea_lover

Totally agree with the others faerie. It's completely natural for you to be feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions right now - there's no right or wrong way to feel so please don't beat yourself up. It's perfectly normal for you to feel robbed of the chance to get answers, and everything else that will be spinning through your head right now.

I hope you manage to get some rest. Take care x.

faerielight

penguin
3

2

1



aww thanks guys so much for your kind replies.. grief is so wired, it's so changeable, today, I don't feel any anger, only enormous sorrow, it's so painful when my dad died, i took drugs and alcohol to numb it but the grief got stuck and never healed. I dont ever expect to be free from the legacy of her trauma, but I'm sober and I am trying to be brave and be with it, because I so desperately want some healing, and to not feel like she haunts me all the time. I really need closure. My friend is coming with me to the funeral and poss my female bestie,so I won't be alone, thank goodness, I presume it will be sometime next week.

onomatopoeia99

Hang in there faerie, grieving is a journey and as everyone has said, it's completely natural for you to feel all sorts of different emotions as you deal with it.


I was away last week, visiting family for birthdays and going to some art exhibitions and a concert in London. Also saw my friend who lives there, she is really struggling though she has a diagnosis now (EUPD) and after some group CBT in the autumn and then three individual sessions for assessment, has now been referred to a therapist for DBT which should start in a couple of months. So I have my fingers crossed for her.


I did a scary thing last night and joined a D&D group. I haven't played since I graduated, 25 years ago, but started looking around for one a few months ago, found one starting a new campaign and last night was the first meeting. Everyone seems nice, though I'm the oldest (when did that happen?) and like always in a group I didn't say very much!

jobbingmusician

elsien, how are you and how is ER? Thinking of you at this time xxxxx

Also missing pyxis - pyxis, if you are reading, lots of love and hugs to you. (I almost wasn't sure whether to write this or not!)

heartbreak_star

Ono, D&D is soooooo good!!

HBS x

elsien

ER penguin.

ER is unlikely to last the night, currently occupied in trying to support parent. I'm rubbish at this sort of thing. Foot in mouth syndrome a speciality.

End penguin

Having similar thoughts about all our missing person's JM - hope things are Ok for you all, even if posting isn't right for you right now.

And in a complete change of topic, just found this link about access to BPD services which may be of interest to some.

https://www.nationalelfservice.net/mental-health/personality-disorder/the-state-of-personality-disorder-services-in-england/

mellymoo74

Being there will be enough elsien