Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

Currently hiding upstairs as I'm already onto my second unwanted visit of the day. Flipping wish I could call the police but as I lied to them before (and FOH knows this) I've completely scuppered myself. Plus he has a key again (yes, I'm that stupid). It's not like I can even talk to my parents this time.

Have made a massive trap for myself and walked right into it.

Change the lock straight away, Tea. Absolute priority. Ring an emergency locksmith. So it costs an arm and a leg, no matter, do it.

Next job..........contact him to arrange for removal of the car. Give a definite deadline or else you will get a car removal person to do so and take it to the car breakers hard, or whatever. No conversation, no discussion, just give him the facts, repeat them two or three times then hang up.
Anything of his still in your house, stick it in a box on the car.

Once those two things are done, get rid of his number and block him everywhere.

No more emotional blackmail, no more threats of suicide or self-harm. If he does any of that, and he won't, or at least not seriously, then it is NOT your fault. It's his choice how he chooses to behave, and behaving like this is not the way to win the hand of fair maiden.

It's obvious he's a con-artist/manipulator.

Please, please, no more compromise. YOU call the shots.

tea_lover

I have to leave shortly for an appointment I can't get out of that is going to take most of the day. So here's hoping I can get a locksmith that will work on Christmas Eve.

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

I have to leave shortly for an appointment I can't get out of that is going to take most of the day. So here's hoping I can get a locksmith that will work on Christmas Eve.

Can you bolt the front door from the inside and leave via the back door? So he can't get in?

tea_lover

No, I can't get out through the garage. Have spent the morning trying to work it out (too many locks!) but there isn't a way to leave everything locked behind me.

Izadora

Tea, I hope you managed to get out of the house okay and don't have any unwanted visitors when you get back.

Sorry he's being an ar5e again. I guess he figures that it worked last time so it's worth trying this time too. Just remember though, none of his behaviour is your fault.


In happier news - penguined in case Tea wants to look away now... I'm going to be Mrs IzHe!!! Well, I might well be Mrs Iz (I haven't decided yet whether or not to change my name) but we'll be getting married next year. He was going to wait until New Year's Eve, as it's our anniversary and it's a good time to make decisions about your future, but decided that I should have the ring for when I meet the girls today so proposed last night. I don't think I've stopped grinning all day and I can't stop staring at my hand. It's so shiny!!!!!! End penguin

mellymoo74

Tea

Call women's aid
Level with them about the lie

You wi probably find women do, many more get suckered straight back in than escape darling.

If your going to your folks for Christmas pack a bag, take it with you and go straight from what you have to do today.

mellymoo74

Yay Izhe
X

Pyxis

Izzie. ...... Penguin......

I can't white out a Congratulations image thing, so I'll just say it!


CONGRATULATIONS! End Penguin

surveyqueenuk

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Tea

Call women's aid
Level with them about the lie

You wi probably find women do, many more get suckered straight back in than escape darling.

If your going to your folks for Christmas pack a bag, take it with you and go straight from what you have to do today.

Delurking to second what Melly has said. The majority of women seen by WA have already tried leaving at least once and I can guarantee that they will have spoken to many, many women who have lied to the cops in the past.

You might think that you don't warrant their help as you are not being beaten. This isn't true. WA is there for any woman in any situation where she feels unsafe because of a partner/ex. Including you. Please consider giving them a call, I promise you will be taken seriously.

Pyxis

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

Delurking to second what Melly has said. The majority of women seen by WA have already tried leaving at least once and I can guarantee that they will have spoken to many, many women who have lied to the cops in the past.

You might think that you don't warrant their help as you are not being beaten. This isn't true. WA is there for any woman in any situation where she feels unsafe because of a partner/ex. Including you. Please consider giving them a call, I promise you will be taken seriously.

Absolutely.

I think this has been said before, but if the abuse were physical, I bet you wouldn't hesitate, Tea, or have any doubts. I'm sure you wouldn't be worrying about him in the way you are.
Just because you can't see the 'bruises', it doesn't mean they aren't there.
The damage is to your self-belief, your sense of worth, your confidence. :A