Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

Love the photos melly and MU, what handsome people and animals we have associated with this thread

WaS, I often have to physically look away from films/TV and repeatedly tell myself it isn't real. Not for things like physical stuff, gore, etc (can deal with that). But when it's very emotional I just can't cope with it very well.

Georgie - I could have written that penguin.
Penguin reply about food.
I'm very near my heaviest now (haven't actually weighed for ages so could well be even worse than I thought). In the grand scheme of things it's really not that bad, but it's not where I want to be. Am particularly annoyed that I did so well in 2014, lost nearly 2 stone then put the lot back on. Am also annoyed that I have just no willpower whatsoever - I'll be annoyed at not being able to do my trousers up then will sit there and eat an obscene amount of chocolate just minutes later.
End penguin.

Not penguining this next bit as hopefully it's just funny to you all (but can move if anyone would prefer).... last night I literally ripped the back off a pair of jeans trying to get them on :rotfl:. I grabbed the waistband a bit hard in an attempt to drag them over my thighs and ripped them nearly in half

whitewing

https://twitter.com/Visiondirect_UK It is gorgeous.

WaS, maybe your 'lack of switch' is extra sensitive at the moment. Perhaps you will be able to watch the films at some point. I can sometimes find with books that I can't read them but then later on I rediscover and enjoy them.

tea_lover

The talk of empathy etc. has also reminded me a fascinating series I saw a while back - The Brain, with David Eagleman. I have no idea whether parts of it could be triggering for some so I'm not recommending it as such, but I found it incredibly interesting and thought-provoking.

One part that really stuck with me was how much our faces instinctively mirror the expressions of others, and that helps influence our empathy towards them and understanding of what they are thinking/feeling - so much so that people who have had botox are not as able to determine the emotions of others, as their faces have less ability to mirror!

Pyxis

Poor Tea!

They just don't make clothes like they used to, do they! :rotfl:



(Don't worry; I've done similar in the past! :rotfl:)


My big bugbear with clothes at the moment is having fat upper arms. A top can fit me perfectly everywhere, and look very nice, but be strangling my armpits!

Bring back the thirties' style of very loose, floaty sleeves, for God's sake!


I like three-quarter length sleeves, but so many have cuffs with buttons. I usually have to undo the buttons as otherwise they'd be too tight just at that spot, or even impossible to do up!

tea_lover

I find that too Pyxis. Even the pj's I had on last night were too tight around my arms.... how does that part of a person even get out of proportion to the rest of them?! :rotfl:

Pyxis

I wonder If they make support stockings for arms? :D

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! Thank you for cheering me up everyone, you do make me smile.

I found a lovely person at the DWP! I called them to ask how long it would take to review the doctors decision on my claim. She said anything up to 3 months...

So I then picked myself up off the floor and blurted "It's been over 4 months already and I'm psychotic!!! I can't wait another 3 months like this!" I am cringing slightly now but I couldn't quite believe this could go on for another 3 months, I am crawling up the wall as it is. She was lovely though and put a note on my file saying I had a vulnerability and the claim was worsening my health and sent a message to the decision maker asking for the claim to be fast tracked. She read back to me the message she had sent to them and also the note she had placed on my file to make sure I was happy with it. She mentioned nothing of my diagnosis, just that I was vulnerable and that the claim was causing me distress to an existing condition so it needed to be hurried.

She then told me something I never knew, did you know the DWP has a duty of care to the mentally ill under safeguarding? They have regulations in place that say they must protect vulnerable people with chronic mental health problems, for example if you are asked to attend a face to face appointment and do not turn up they cannot close your claim, they have to make 2 attempts at a home visit first and then send it to upper management before making a decision. In my case as the process is causing me distress they have a duty to fast track it so that it doesn't make my health worse.

I have never heard of that before, they certainly don't publicise it. Why is this not in the information sent to claimants? I have checked it on their site and she is totally correct, it is hidden away in the very small print. She told me that I should have told them the claim was causing me distress weeks ago and they would have processed it faster and to remember that in future. She was wonderful (and I told her that). I never knew, I could have done this last time when I ended up in hospital.

The only downside is you have to tell someone unqualified on the phone that you have a chronic mental illness so it depends if you feel comfortable with people other than the decision maker knowing that.. Or you could just blurt it out in horror like I did.

ETA I am going to email the DWP and ask management to acknowledge how helpful she was. Usually the people there sound a little tired which is hardly surprising given the nature of the job but she was incredibly well-informed, helpful and compassionate. She deserves recognition.

Izadora

Morning All,

Melly, I love the photos. You can really see how happy everyone was that day and you're most definitely your father's daughter!

Code, I'm sure your wedding photos are lovely, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

One, I hope your flu starts to ease down soon.

WaS, I'll gently place some coffee and chocolate in the fort for you (I didn't think throwing a hot drink would be a good plan...) and I hope today's a better day for you. I'm sure the ESA will be fine and you can start planning your summer trips out soon.

Tea, thank you. You've reminded me that I've still got The Brain recorded and really must watch them. The couple that I have seen were fascinating.
I've managed to detach jeans from their waistband by having to pull a bit too hard to get them up too... I've also lost count of the number of pairs where the inside seam's gone thanks to my thighs rubbing the material!!

Pyxis - I have the same problem with my arms too. I tried a t-shirt on at the weekend and it was quite roomy apart from the fact that it would've cut off the circulation to my arms.

I managed to get out and vote last night even though it's pretty much pointless where I live. It's such a Tory stronghold that my vote's never going to influence anything but at least it means that I can moan about the ridiculously rubbish decisions they make because they weren't my choice.

Penguin about weight I know where everyone's coming from about it all being relative. Although I'm a lot lighter than I used to be (nearly 5 stone lighter...) I'm currently just over half a stone too heavy for my summer clothes and feel flabby and disgusting. I know I should focus on the fact that I'm doing a lot better than I used to but it's easier (not really easier as such but I can't think of another way to describe it) to see that I'm still classed as obese and have a long way to go to be a healthy weight.

That said, the fact that I still need to lose around 3 stone doesn't mean that my mum, who's well within the guideline weight for her height, is struggling any less with the fact that she wants to lose around a stone because it helps with her back and her clothes will fit better.End penguin

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

T
One part that really stuck with me was how much our faces instinctively mirror the expressions of others, and that helps influence our empathy towards them and understanding of what they are thinking/feeling - so much so that people who have had botox are not as able to determine the emotions of others, as their faces have less ability to mirror!

Not only can they not mirror others as easily, but the people they are talking to probably can't relate to their expressionless face; this could cause problems in all sorts of areas.......relationships, friends, not to mention business.

I wonder if there's been any research into the possible effects of Botox on the outcome of business discussions!

It might be good for playing poker, though! :rotfl:




WaS, just one caveat.......... Lovely, lovely idea to write to her bosses to compliment her!
It just might be better not to mention what she told you, just in case she wasn't supposed to, but decided to use her discretion, IYSWIM. :A

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! I actually thought of that, Pyxis? I have spoken to many DWP employees over the years but none have told me about their safeguarding policy. It is possible that they aren't supposed to tell claimants unless it's mentioned first even though it is on the website (buried very deeply as pages and pages of legal jargon). Perhaps they are just supposed to use it at their discretion. I shall avoid mentioning that part and just say what a lovely and compassionate person she was. To be honest I think she felt sorry for me, she said she couldn't have handled waiting for four months for a decision and she didn't have a mental health problem but she was a worrier and knew how it felt to have things going round in your head. She was just a lovely person.