Anyone else out there living with a compulsive gambler?

focus888

I'm a saver and he is a gambler, im struggling to cope with him being this way as im so strict with my saving and budgeting to get by. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation as me? thanks x

onlyroz

Does he accept that he has a problem and does he want to change? Would he be willing to give up financial control to you (e.g. give over his debit/credit cards, let you change the passwords to online bank accounts etc etc).

ravilious_fan

Is he gambling your money, too, or just his own?

HappyMJ

focus888 wrote: »

I'm a saver and he is a gambler, im struggling to cope with him being this way as im so strict with my saving and budgeting to get by. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation as me? thanks x

I was...the relationship ended. She was a spendthrift. I saved it she spent it. She refused to save anything at all. What she's going to do when her child leaves school and the tax credits, child benefit and CSA money stop I have no idea. Not my problem any more.

It's hard though. I controlled her spending on gambling by installing software on the computer that blocked all gambling sites. K9 Web Protection. Unfortunately she would just go to the bingo hall instead and buy the maximum tickets and spend everything until there was nothing left. She did win every now and again which is what give gamblers the buzz. £1,000 here and there...but it all went straight back in and was lost.

Yes it was "her" money but I considered it should have been household money. Child tax credits are supposed to be used for the children.

Petra_70

focus888 wrote: »

I'm a saver and he is a gambler, im struggling to cope with him being this way as im so strict with my saving and budgeting to get by. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation as me? thanks x

A neighbour of mine was with one for 15 years. She never had a penny to her name all that time, no new clothes, no luxuries, no jewellry or perfume, or meals out, or a holiday, or even a day trip. She was a stay at home mum, with their 3 kids, so he thought the money was his, as HE earned it, and he squandered it on gambling. He owed money left right and centre, and they were evicted several times, because he didn't pay the rent, as the money went on gambling. He racked up £60,000 of debt, and they had to go bankrupt in the end.

15 years of her life thrown away because of a reckless thoughtless selfish inconsiderate partner. Do you think any man would tolerate a woman behaving in this manner? Of course not. No WAY would any man tolerate this behaviour from any woman. Yet women constantly put up with it. More fool them.

Get out now FGS. My friend did in the end, and is now happier than ever. You will never ever ever be the most important thing in his life; it will always be his next gambling fix!

mark5

Once a gambler always a gambler, I would walk away personally.

rachy182

For a bit of support try ringing gamcare on 0808 8020 133. If he goes into particular shops it might be worth going in there and discuss getting him banned or at least staff will become aware of his problem. Theres a new exclusion scheme for some of the main bookies where you ring one number and can exclude from all the bookies in your area no:0800 294 2060.

goodwithsaving

Keep finances separate. Ensure all mortgage paperwork (and potential borrowing sign-off) goes to YOU. Many people on here will disagree but look after YOU.

amistupid

mark5 wrote: »

Once a gambler always a gambler.

I bet that isn't always the case.

amistupid

I used to work for several bookies. It was very sad watching people addicted to gambling. I recall reading somewhere that a gambling addict is never satisfied until they've lost everything.

Betting companies are always harping on about "Stop when the fun stops", yet, especially via the internet, are constantly enticing people to gamble with introductory 'free' bet offers.

I've noticed, in these austere times, how shares in internet gambling sites have rocketed. Perhaps more people are trying to gamble their way out of hardship.

Takeaway_Addict

Petra_70 wrote: »

A neighbour of mine was with one for 15 years. She never had a penny to her name all that time, no new clothes, no luxuries, no jewellry or perfume, or meals out, or a holiday, or even a day trip. She was a stay at home mum, with their 3 kids, so he thought the money was his, as HE earned it, and he squandered it on gambling. He owed money left right and centre, and they were evicted several times, because he didn't pay the rent, as the money went on gambling. He racked up £60,000 of debt, and they had to go bankrupt in the end.

15 years of her life thrown away because of a reckless thoughtless selfish inconsiderate partner. Do you think any man would tolerate a woman behaving in this manner? Of course not. No WAY would any man tolerate this behaviour from any woman. Yet women constantly put up with it. More fool them.

Get out now FGS. My friend did in the end, and is now happier than ever. You will never ever ever be the most important thing in his life; it will always be his next gambling fix!

Nice and sexist there....