Friendship after a relationship.

Alice_Holt

About 3 years ago I gradually fell in love.

We laughed a lot, shared many interests, and enjoyed each others company.
We started a relationship,
Sadly the relationship didn't last.

We remained friends, and although we couldn't meet up so frequently, we were still able to chat and laugh on the phone.
I was pleased to support her in whatever way I could,

Last year she met someone and fell in love with him.

I intend to email her 2 or 3 times over the course of a year, and try to keep in touch.
What would you do?

Janey3

So sorry that you are feeling hurt - I don't see anything wrong in emailing her a couple of times over the year as you mention, but don't expect much back from this - as, sadly, I think she has decided to move on.

sheramber

She doesn't feel able to continue the friendship. I think you should respect that.

My son still visits an ex partner and they are good friends although both now have new relationships.,

But another ex girlfriend told him there is no way she could continue to be friends with an ex.so he has no contact with her.

thriftyemma

Everyone reacts differently in these situations.

I am still friends with an ex from years ago. He owns a comic book shop, and every so often he helps me choose cool gifts for my OH and children. We are not close, but I would happily join him for a coffee or a movie.

On the other side, my ex-husband emailed me a couple of years ago. He asked how I was, filled me in on his life, shared fond memories of our past. As he was violent and abusive, I did not look so fondly on our past, and very bluntly told him to not contact me again.

My OH and his ex broke up seven years before I met him. The ex stayed good friends with OH's mother. So much so, that when OH's ex recently got married, his mother was invited!

OP, your ex sounds like she has moved on. For what ever reason that is, you need to respect it. I see no major harm in dropping her an email every so often. But don't push it. She has to live her life, and make her own mistakes. You cannot be there to pick up the pieces every time. Your intentions sound honourable. But I think you need to take a step back now.

tea_lover

What would I do? Respect her wishes and not patronisingly assume she doesn't know her own mind.

JReacher1

there is nothing you can do.

She has found someone else and asked you to stop contacting her. If you do continue to contact her then it becomes a bit stalkerish. You've mentioned when you were with her she was bothered by emails from her ex, knowing that why would you want to continue to email her after she has told you not to?

There is a chance she may contact you in the future but until she does you should respect her wishes and move on.

mark5

I've always thought ex's should stay in your past they only cause problems in the present time.

pendragon_arther

tea_lover wrote: »

What would I do? Respect her wishes and not patronisingly assume she doesn't know her own mind.

I love your caring attitude :eek:

onlyroz

I am friends with one of my exes. I tried being friends with another until he tried it on with me again, and so I now ignore him. He still tries to get in touch about once a year though, which I have always thought to be a bit odd.

I think you should respect the wishes of your ex.

MarcGlassford

No point of wrong in your side. But she decided to go on the other way, friendship after relationship is always a cat on wall.

Primrose82

Sometimes we have to accept that some-one is no longer part of our lives and move on. It's hard when you can't still be in touch and in some ways it can feel like a bereavement
I would probably send a digital Christmas card and that would be it , you can't make someone maintain contact