Different Spends on Adult and Young Children for Birthdays and Xmas - opinions?

happy35

I only have 1 son who is 19, I used to spend an absolute fortune but reduced it last year and will reduce it again this year. My son is on an apprenticeship and is very sell paid, I think as your children get older and have their own money they should get less at Christmas.

I would spend more on the younger children making it clear that at 21 they will also get less.

Anoneemoose

happy35 wrote: »

I only have 1 son who is 19, I used to spend an absolute fortune but reduced it last year and will reduce it again this year. My son is on an apprenticeship and is very sell paid, I think as your children get older and have their own money they should get less at Christmas.

I would spend more on the younger children making it clear that at 21 they will also get less.

Thanks. This does seem to be quite common, regardless of a couple of sarcastic comments about it. I don't like to think of my eldest son struggling etc and we will help when and if we can. Slightly off topic, he is at uni, which is only in the next town with excellent bus links. We originally thought he would stay at home where we would have been happy to support him from the 'roof over head, food in tum' point of view, however, he chose to go in to digs near uni, to experience that side of student life (fair enough). He manages to get himself to festivals and weekends away and has a part time job, so I don't think he is desperate for our help in that respect.

I can't remember whether I have alread mentioned it on this thread (brain fog), but I have had to give up work due to ill health - that means we are going to be losing quite a chunk of our income and this is the thing that has prompted us to look at our outgoings.

happy35

I am sure if you explain he will understand, there probably isn't much he actually wants anyway.

I am sorry you are poorly and your income is dropping, don't mean this the wrong way but I am not short of money and still reduced mine. In my sons group of friends they all seemed to get less last year and that included them with little brothers and sisters.

Do what u need to do but am sure your son wouldn't want you going into debt or that the younger ones get less, he was spoilt when he was their age after all.

foolofbeans

We had the same issue in that I felt the amount spent on older children should reduce, particularly as they are not living at home.
We have reduced the amounts by a little but I would like to do so even more. I would also like to reduce the amount spent on the younger children as they seemed a bit apathetic at Christmas opening present after present and I got the impression it was all just a bit boring! I therefore plan to buy about 7 presents but this will probably include some pound shop pressies or presents of minimal value but big impact. Family buy some presents so the children shouldn't feel deprived and I doubt they would even notice.
Ideally I would like to buy "experiences" rather than presents as I like the idea of making memories rather than buying toys that may be appreciated but a few weeks after the event are forgotten.

Jagraf

Anoneemoose wrote: »

Thanks. This does seem to be quite common, regardless of a couple of sarcastic comments about it. I don't like to think of my eldest son struggling etc and we will help when and if we can. Slightly off topic, he is at uni, which is only in the next town with excellent bus links. We originally thought he would stay at home where we would have been happy to support him from the 'roof over head, food in tum' point of view, however, he chose to go in to digs near uni, to experience that side of student life (fair enough). He manages to get himself to festivals and weekends away and has a part time job, so I don't think he is desperate for our help in that respect.

I can't remember whether I have alread mentioned it on this thread (brain fog), but I have had to give up work due to ill health - that means we are going to be losing quite a chunk of our income and this is the thing that has prompted us to look at our outgoings.

He sounds mature and self sufficient. I would think what he had for Christmas from his parents would be no big deal anyway - he has more important stuff going on in his life. Taking an interest in his lufe and his studies etc would be much more important to him I woukd think. Help comes in all shapes and sizes.