.....

laurenphipps85

Mahsroh wrote: »

I don't think anyone on this thread is failing to understand that. But sentiment doesn't change the facts. Many options have been put forward in this thread in an attempt to help you:

1. Move out of the property and rent it out - but you state this isn't an option.
2. You get a lodger - but you state this isn't an option.
3. You sell the property and look to buy a smaller one for you and your daughter - but you state this isn't an option
4. You sell the property and rent instead - but you state this isn't an option.

Seemingly, the only option you see is for your ex to continue funding the property 50/50 whilst you live in it and he lives with his parents. That's not fair on him, regardless of what happened to cause the falling out. Surely you can understand that?

1. I never said 3. was not an option


I actually asked further about it


so


2. stop being so negative!


and maybe I'll just get myself a huge loan while I'm at it then refuse to pay it because it seems like it's okay to do that these days and I'll get a pat on the back for it!

Mahsroh

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

1. I never said 3. was not an option


I actually asked further about it


so


2. stop being so negative!


and maybe I'll just get myself a huge loan while I'm at it then refuse to pay it because it seems like it's okay to do that these days and I'll get a pat on the back for it!

I'm not being negative. I've tried numerous times on this thread to help, especially with point 3 that you refer to. However, you didn't answer any of the questions that I put forward in an attempt to help you.

Mahsroh

I'll even put my previous questions back to the top to save you trawling through, although I am becoming increasingly reluctant to help.

Mahsroh wrote: »

Where in the country are you? I assume given that it was only Sept-15 we're talking about £20k equity so £10k each? Really depends where you live but that gives the option of buying a £100k property with 10% deposit (though I have no idea without knowing your location is this realistic).... Although admittedly they'd be costs associated with moving..... BUT, some banks allow you to take your existing product to a new property (known as "Porting") to avoid early repayment charges - though I must admit I don't know if this would be allowed in a situation where you're downsizing and getting a smaller mortgage (again, assuming it's affordable in your part of the country!). I'm sure there are others on here who are a lot more clued up on this subject than I am.

laurenphipps85

Mahsroh wrote: »

I'm not being negative. I've tried numerous times on this thread to help, especially with point 3 that you refer to. However, you didn't answer any of the questions that I put forward in an attempt to help you.

I'm sorry but all I can see is a lot of replies that are basically backing up my ex after walking out on a financial commitment after three months


I don't get it?


Is this the done thing now? Get a mortgage with someone then run away when you decide you no longer want it and it's all okay because your ex partner should let you do it?


I think I'll stand my ground until I really have to do something about it as it really isn't on


It's too easy for people to do what they want these days at the expense of someone else


I will speak with my lender and see what practical advice they can offer


Thanks anyway

Mahsroh

Okay. Good luck.

frazell

Unfortunately, divorce/separation is a fact of life these days and again, unfortunately, your ex-partner is within his rights to take back half of what's his. Being "fair" or "morally right" really doesn't come into it.


What everyone has done here is look at the cold hard facts and tried to offer advice as to the best way forward. I really think that the sooner you realise that you need to seriously consider that you will have to move house the better (unless open to a lodger and your ex agreeing).


I do have to agree with Mahsroh that you seem to have almost talked yourself into the final result being you staying in the house and your ex having to pay.


Your first port of call should be to sit face to face with your mortgage provider and see what options you have to take the mortgage forward in your name on a more affordable property. You have said that you will do that so good luck!


Your second port of call depending on the first, is to speak to a good solicitor.


Its easy to say but you need to take your emotions out of this and consider the welfare of your family over anything else. Depending on what your ex decides to do the threat of being homeless and/or having a wrecked credit rating due to repossession, would make me take action immediately to get out of this situation asap.


Again, good luck.

fieldend

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

I'm sorry but all I can see is a lot of replies that are basically backing up my ex after walking out on a financial commitment after three months


I don't get it?


Is this the done thing now? Get a mortgage with someone then run away when you decide you no longer want it and it's all okay because your ex partner should let you do it?

You came here for financial advice, right? It's irrelevant whether your ex was right or wrong, morally.

The reality is that you cannot afford that property and you should consider one of those choices - sell and rent or buy smaller (or try to keep it and get a lodger).

Hanging on to the property for a while against your ex's will (regardless of whether that's right or wrong or fair morally speaking) might ruin your credit rating if he stops paying and you can't make payments in full and/or you might end up paying thousands in solicitors' fees if he forces a sale.

antrobus

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

I sense a bitter person.... I'm doing everything I can to afford it! Read the posts clearly first! do one please, not constructive whatsoever

Oh good grief! Are you for real?

frazell wrote: »

...I do have to agree with Mahsroh that you seem to have almost talked yourself into the final result being you staying in the house and your ex having to pay.....

I think that's exactly it. The OP is expecting to be told how she can keep the house and her ex's money, and anything said to the contrary is "not constructive".

Such is life in MSEland.

fieldend

She has deleted her first post... so much for constructive comments :-)

DCFC79

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

I have a spare room, it's just the thought of having a stranger in the house that I don't like


I'll get sorted, will blitz advertising for my business tonight and try with the bank again to get his name off

Why a stranger ?

You ask if any friends want a spare room to rent eg closer to work for example.