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Mojisola

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

he is adamant that he wants to be off the mortgage and I am petrified that he may force me to sell (the redemption fee is £9000.00 + selling fees) this will leave me with nothing as he also got me to sell my car to put more money down on the house so I now have to finance another - I have an 8 year old child but he is not the father

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

I can't afford them right now as I am having to pay off a credit card bill and financed fitted wardrobes that were all in my name from getting the house done up

Selling at this point is not an option for me, this is money I have saved for years having been a single parent, I am not willing to throw away my daughters future over someone thinking they can make a huge financial commitment and then just walk away from it with no cares

It's too late now but the time to secure your daughter's future was before you went into a major financial commitment with an unreliable man.

Didn't alarm bells ring when he got you to sell your car?

It can seem unromantic but it's always worth drawing up an agreement when setting up home with a partner (rather than a spouse) setting out how jointly-owned property will be dealt with if the relationship breaks down.

Thrugelmir

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

I feel people are very quick to judge here and are actually adding to the stress

No one is judging you. Understandably the situation is very stressful. However you need to accept that retaining the house longer term is not an option if you are unable to afford the mortgage in your own right. Your ex has a right to his own life as well. The sooner you start thinking clearer in a practical fashion the sooner you'll be able to move on with your life and put this episode behind you.

DavidF

The only other option I can see here is take in a lodger to make up the shortfall OR if you are in an in demand area then rent it out as a whole house and you rent somewhere smaller - That way the mortgage gets paid nobody looses out and you can both look forward to a saleable asset in the future.

Mahsroh

DavidF wrote: »

The only other option I can see here is take in a lodger to make up the shortfall OR if you are in an in demand area then rent it out as a whole house and you rent somewhere smaller - That way the mortgage gets paid nobody looses out and you can both look forward to a saleable asset in the future.

The latter might be a struggle, as she only moved into the property in September and many lenders will not allow you to switch to a 'consent to lease' mortgage so soon.... and as it's on a fixed deal they'll likely increase her interest rate by at least 2% and unless her and the ex together can pay the £9k ERC (We've already established that's not an option) then they'll have nowhere to go.

The lodger suggestion though does seem like a very viable option.

laurenphipps85

I have tried all avenues, I am broke until my loan is paid off in a years time, he doesn't seem to want to give me this time


We had been renting prior to this so I didn't see any alarm bells and even asked him that if this was what he wanted etc which he did


Rental is not an option as we are in one of the smaller houses - a bigger one hasn't yet rented at £900 so I know we wouldn't get £868 to cover it and he also wouldn't pay the top up to keep it on


Sorry, but if I take a financial commitment I don't then stop paying it because I feel like it, so how is this possible? It is ridiculous, I would never have a lodger as I do not want random people staying in the same house as my 8 y/o daughter


As I have said I have already made moves in setting up my business part time again to make extra money so I am actually really trying my hardest


I'll just have to see what he does and hope for the best, hopefully when business picks up I can afford the repayments but proving this to the bank is a different matter as it is a self employed income that I have only been doing for a year and a half

laurenphipps85

frazell wrote: »

I don't really understand why you think that you will lose everything by selling up?


You can speak to the mortgage provider about the maximum property price that is affordable for you, minus the deposit/costs to your ex. You then look for a house to that value. He will obviously have to pay his half of the redemption fees.


In your shoes, I'd rather be in control of this and sell rather than him force a sale. Sure you might end up in a smaller property, but at least it would secure a roof over your families heads.


I would imagine its only a matter of time until the pressure increases from him for you to sell, especially if he engages a solicitor. Its half of his money after all, regardless of his current living arrangements he's entitled to it back.

So I could change the mortgage into my name only with the same lender and not pay a redemption fee? Would this enable me to free up his money he put down?


I really do want a clean break and I'm not bothered where I live, I just don't want to lose years of savings for the sake of living in a house for a few months


Surely anyone can understand that?

Hutchch0920

From personal experience, if you can take a lodger to cover the shortfall this would be a good mid-term solution until your situation improves sufficiently to buy him out and take over the whole mortgage or sell and buy something more affordable for you. This may mean you need to share a room with your daughter for a while but you may be fine about that.

laurenphipps85

antrobus wrote: »

So basically, you can't afford the house on your own. That's the cold hard reality.



As Judge Judy would say; 'You picked him'.



People are often disappointed here in MSEland when they fail to get the answers that they wanted.

I sense a bitter person.... I'm doing everything I can to afford it! Read the posts clearly first! do one please, not constructive whatsoever

laurenphipps85

clairewych wrote: »

From personal experience, if you can take a lodger to cover the shortfall this would be a good mid-term solution until your situation improves sufficiently to buy him out and take over the whole mortgage or sell and buy something more affordable for you. This may mean you need to share a room with your daughter for a while but you may be fine about that.

I have a spare room, it's just the thought of having a stranger in the house that I don't like


I'll get sorted, will blitz advertising for my business tonight and try with the bank again to get his name off

Mahsroh

laurenphipps85 wrote: »

Surely anyone can understand that?

I don't think anyone on this thread is failing to understand that. But sentiment doesn't change the facts. Many options have been put forward in this thread in an attempt to help you:

1. Move out of the property and rent it out - but you state this isn't an option.
2. You get a lodger - but you state this isn't an option.
3. You sell the property and look to buy a smaller one for you and your daughter - but you state this isn't an option
4. You sell the property and rent instead - but you state this isn't an option.

Seemingly, the only option you see is for your ex to continue funding the property 50/50 whilst you live in it and he lives with his parents. That's not fair on him, regardless of what happened to cause the falling out. Surely you can understand that?