I allowed my boyfriend to cheat on me

Hele4

When we got together four years ago there was a period at the very beginning of the relationship in which I was unsure if he was right for me.

I was torn between him and my ex. My ex was controlling/manipulative. Like a fool I absorbed his lies about how he will change for me and I slept with him four times.

He was soon back to his old tricks. I left him again and I confessed everything to my now boyfriend.

As a compromise due to the relationship being within the first two months I said he could have a free pass to cheat cause I had cheated on him.

He never did cheat. The relationship grew over the years. In an ideal way for me everything has been perfect until last night when he confessed to cheating on me with his work colleague at the weekend.

I am distraught. He has used the free pass I gave him to justify his cheating.

How do I go about this?

I cheated therefore I have to accept this?

My cheating was before anything was serious between us. Everything we have built over the last four years to me feels like it was for nothing.

This hurts so bad. It hurts cause the only person to blame is myself.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Creative writing class?

pendragon_arther

Mills and Boon awaits...

duchy

If he thinks there's no difference between cheating in the early weeks of a relationship - and cheating in an established relationship then he either works for MSE writing their "dilemmas" or is another emotionally manipulative man.

You don't "have to" forgive him - You are an adult - if you choose to continue the relationship you can but equally you can also choose to end it.

I'd suggest you think about if he is emotionally manipulating you and consider getting some help to break the cycle of allowing men to do this in your relationships.

Pollycat

Hele4 wrote: »

When we got together four years ago there was a period at the very beginning of the relationship in which I was unsure if he was right for me.

I was torn between him and my ex. My ex was controlling/manipulative. Like a fool I absorbed his lies about how he will change for me and I slept with him four times.

He was soon back to his old tricks. I left him again and I confessed everything to my now boyfriend.

As a compromise due to the relationship being within the first two months I said he could have a free pass to cheat cause I had cheated on him.

He never did cheat. The relationship grew over the years. In an ideal way for me everything has been perfect until last night when he confessed to cheating on me with his work colleague at the weekend.

I am distraught. He has used the free pass I gave him to justify his cheating.

How do I go about this?

I cheated therefore I have to accept this?

My cheating was before anything was serious between us. Everything we have built over the last four years to me feels like it was for nothing.

This hurts so bad. It hurts cause the only person to blame is myself.

You don't have to accept anything.

'Free pass to cheat'?
Seriously?

It sounds like a dilemma that Mr Kyle may be able to help with.

Reggie_Rebel

Isn't that the plot of one of the American Pie films?

silvercar

That "free pass" was well past its expiry date, as he should have known.

Takeaway_Addict

silvercar wrote: »

That "free pass" was well past its expiry date, as he should have known.

It may well be but she can't take the high ground on this.

Petra_70

And the OP joined a money saving website to tell us this.....??? :whistle:

heuchera

Hele4 wrote: »

When we got together four years ago there was a period at the very beginning of the relationship in which I was unsure if he was right for me.

I was torn between him and my ex. My ex was controlling/manipulative. Like a fool I absorbed his lies about how he will change for me and I slept with him four times.

He was soon back to his old tricks. I left him again and I confessed everything to my now boyfriend.

As a compromise due to the relationship being within the first two months I said he could have a free pass to cheat cause I had cheated on him.

He never did cheat. The relationship grew over the years. In an ideal way for me everything has been perfect until last night when he confessed to cheating on me with his work colleague at the weekend.

I am distraught. He has used the free pass I gave him to justify his cheating.

How do I go about this?

I cheated therefore I have to accept this?

My cheating was before anything was serious between us. Everything we have built over the last four years to me feels like it was for nothing.

This hurts so bad. It hurts cause the only person to blame is myself.

...........................................................

heuchera

Ronaldo_Mconaldo wrote: »

Creative writing class?

Petra_70 wrote: »

And the OP joined a money saving website to tell us this.....??? :whistle:

I have to agree. Posted at 4.37 am.. It takes a special kind of stupid to believe this one.