Wife cannot work - Mental Health Issues

UKSBD

HappyMJ wrote: »

None. She can claim Employment and Support Allowance even if she just gets credits only they will help maintain her pension entitlement.

Thanks, but she doesn't want to go through all the stress of claiming ESA.

UKSBD

I've just found this https://www.gov.uk/state-pension/eligibility

Which says you need 30 qualifying years.


She already has 18 and doesn't retire for another 20 years, so it looks like she can afford to miss a few more years (or make voluntary contributions if needed).


Looks like no immediate worries.

HappyMJ

UKSBD wrote: »

Thanks, but she doesn't want to go through all the stress of claiming ESA.

ESA credits only is not very stressful to claim. Just fill out the form send it off. Go for an interview and she'll be on it. No need to do anything more.

You could pay voluntary NI contributions for her which are currently £14.10 a week.

UKSBD

HappyMJ wrote: »

ESA credits only is not very stressful to claim. Just fill out the form send it off. Go for an interview and she'll be on it. No need to do anything more.

You could pay voluntary NI contributions for her which are currently £14.10 a week.

She wouldn't want to fill in a form or go for an interview.


She wouldn't be entitled to any benefit and doesn't want to claim any, all we are really concerned about is NIC.


Looks like we don't really have to worry about if for a couple of years at least though.

FBaby

Not benefit related, but what is she doing to try to get better? Her condition is clearly affecting her quite badly and her family with her. I know counselling is difficult to get, expensive to pay, but many of the exercises they would recommend and encourage can be found on the internet and be done alone or with the support of a loved one. The only way to get better with anxieties like agoraphobia is exposure, but exposure at very slow pace. Avoiding the stressor will never make things better, except for the very short term.

Skint_yet_Again

If your wife is not using all her tax free personal allowance have you both considered the new Marriage Allowance which lets you transfer 10% (currently £1,060) of your Personal Allowance to your husband, wife or civil partner


https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance-guide


The link explains the income limits so you can see whether you would qualify for your wife to transfer some personal allowance to you
-
eg for 2015-16 tax year


wife .... To benefit as a couple, your wife - as the lower earner - needs to have an income of £10,600 or less


husband.... to qualify you as huband would need to have income between £10,601 and £42,385.


You might not qualify for 2015-16 depends how much income your wife has had & whether you (husband) go above the income limit - but if you are no longer paying her you might qualify for 2016-17 if your income (husband) is below the income limits

UKSBD

FBaby wrote: »

Not benefit related, but what is she doing to try to get better? Her condition is clearly affecting her quite badly and her family with her. I know counselling is difficult to get, expensive to pay, but many of the exercises they would recommend and encourage can be found on the internet and be done alone or with the support of a loved one. The only way to get better with anxieties like agoraphobia is exposure, but exposure at very slow pace. Avoiding the stressor will never make things better, except for the very short term.

Thanks, she has been seeing different people on and off for 25+ years, she knows exposure is the route so even avoids the early stages of help now because she knows that their aim is for her to go to them rather than them come to her.


She hasn't seen anyone for past 3 or 4 years, but won't let me get any help for her, and it's not helped by the fact it has to be her who asks anyone I can't do it for her.


The problem is, it is as though she doesn't want to get better, she is in her own little bubble but doesn't see the effect it is having on our children, she wants them in her bubble too.


The Internet can be good, but also very bad, if ever she has anything wrong with her she will look it up, find the worst possible outcome, and that is what she has

when she is well it is fine, she laughs about it and apologies for all the irrational things, when bad though the irrational things aren't irrational and she tries to keep us all in her bubble, I have to be hard or the bubble gets smaller and smaller.

UKSBD

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

If your wife is not using all her tax free personal allowance have you both considered the new Marriage Allowance which lets you transfer 10% (currently £1,060) of your Personal Allowance to your husband, wife or civil partner

Thanks, I've already registered for that.

tomtontom

The problem is, it is as though she doesn't want to get better, she is in her own little bubble but doesn't see the effect it is having on our children, she wants them in her bubble too.

If she's been ill for so long she probably doesn't know what "better" is. The unknown can be scary for the healthiest of people, so add mental illness to that and you can imagine how scary such a change could be.

That's not a criticism of your view, you come across as very supportive, but it mighty help you to understand why she seems resistant to change.

FBaby

I really feel for you and you sound like an amazing patient husband. I think anxiety can be like debts, you have to have your light bulb moment.

Ultimately, if she isn't living too badly herself as she is, then there will be less incentive to do something about it, but it must be hard on you and the kids.