Is Marriage losing it's value?

mikeeboy

Pollycat wrote: »

Massive generalisation. And wrong in a lot of cases, mine included.

Of course it was, I do know registry offices exist, and some people do it cheaper. There must be some statistics about though?

What's the divorce rate between those wedded at a registry office compared to those at a church/big bash?

Tygermoth

I do think attitudes have changed. Not a single person in my family, my OH family or social circle have stayed married.


Some were married for decades (oldest 42 yrs) and some for weeks.


it seems to be taken very casually these days.

Pollycat

mikeeboy wrote: »

Of course it was, I do know registry offices exist, and some people do it cheaper. There must be some statistics about though?

What's the divorce rate between those wedded at a registry office compared to those at a church/big bash?

No idea (and little inclination to find out) - just pointing out that your statement was a generalisation.

MandM90

Tygermoth wrote: »

I do think attitudes have changed. Not a single person in my family, my OH family or social circle have stayed married.


Some were married for decades (oldest 42 yrs) and some for weeks.


it seems to be taken very casually these days.

Everyone in mine and OHs family - apart from my parents(!) - has stayed married

OHs parents have been married 26 years and spend all their free time together...they are inseparable! The same can be said for most of my aunts and uncles (my mum is one of 6, and my dad one of 9...so that's a lot!)

BarryBlue

Tropez wrote: »

I think you could just ask what is the point in marriage without attaching the rest.

Other than some legal implications, which I currently don't care enough about to consider a 'benefit', nothing has changed since I got married. My relationship with my now-wife remains the same as it did before.

I think some people have built up marriage in their mind as this big, wonderful, sparkly thing that somehow cements two people's love... it doesn't. I love my wife as much as I did before we were married.

If there's cracks in the relationship prior to marriage, marriage won't fix it. All that has really changed is that people are less inclined to stay unhappy for a long time now that divorces are generally easier and more socially acceptable.

The overall value of marriage depends on the person. If someone does view marriage as something profound, then it will have a higher value to them.

I agree with you. We lived together for may years and only got married for pension and inheritance reasons as we neared retirement. It is a simple legal matter and makes no difference whatsoever to our relationship. It's just a bit of paper.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Marriage will give me the legal next-of-kin status that entitles me to switch off Marley's life support

Seriously speaking though, we've been together seven years and have a child. Getting married will give us legal benefits, that is all.

Absolutely. It's a legal contract and should be regarded as such. For some reason many people seem to have a ridiculous expectation, both for the wedding and the actual marriage.

jackieblack

BarryBlue wrote: »

Absolutely. It's a legal contract and should be regarded as such

Although it's the only legal contract I know of where one party can just arbitrarily decide they want out and do so with no penalty :cool:

miss_independent

I'm certainly in the minority amidst most of my peers (late 20s-early 30's) as marriage to me is very valuable. That is because, in my faith, marriage is a sacrament. For me, it's a deeply spiritual vocation. Most of my (non religious) friends see marriage as a sham and have various arguments against marriage ranging from it being outdated to it being anti-women or unrealistic from a sexual PoV. My Muslim, Christian and Jewish friends mostly still place great value on marriage. I have a couple of gay friends and a transgender colleague who also aspire to marriage in the near future.

As a society, I feel like we are moving away from marriage and, personally I find that sad. However, so many of us grew up witnessing divorce and unhappy parental marriages that I understand why a lot of adults are afraid of marriage and don't want to enter into one themselves.

Petra_70

LameWolf wrote: »

Sadly, a girl I worked with stated on her wedding day that she'd give her marriage two years.

It was a very strange attitude to go into the marriage with, I thought; I lost touch with her when I changed jobs, so I have no idea how long her marriage did, in fact, last.

When Mr LW and I got married, we didn't do the "til death do us part" bit, we promised "for as long as love shall last".

Well THAT is depressing.

Til you bore the pants off me and I don't fancy you anymore do us part! :rotfl:

Tygermoth wrote: »

I do think attitudes have changed. Not a single person in my family, my OH family or social circle have stayed married.

Some were married for decades (oldest 42 yrs) and some for weeks. It seems to be taken very casually these days.

I am the same as Mand. Virtually all of my relatives are still married to the same person. (They vary from getting married in the 1930s to last year!)

Many couples who got together around the time as me and DH (early 1990s,) have split though. However, these are the couples who didn't get married. The majority of couples who got married are still together. IMO, when a couple get married, they are more likely to stay together. I am sure I have heard that before a few times actually; that a married couple is more likely to stay together than a non-married couple.

meer53

I married in a registry office. We were together over 20 years before he decided to move on. We've been apart now for 13 years, still not divorced, we're good friends. I wouldn't marry again if i had the chance, neither would he. I don't think marriage is necessary anymore, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat, marriage won't stop them. It should, but it won't.

I have to say that i feel marriage these days is more about the big day for a lot of people, they lose sight of what it should be about.

System

Originally Posted by LameWolf

When Mr LW and I got married, we didn't do the "til death do us part" bit, we promised "for as long as love shall last".

I see nothing wrong with that.

Originally Posted by Petra_70

Well THAT is depressing.

Til you bore the pants off me and I don't fancy you anymore do us part!

No, what is depressing is living under the realization that youve made your bed and you have to lie in it.