Is Marriage losing it's value?

LiveOnce

So many marriages now end in divorces.

So many people commit affairs because they get easily distracted.

What's the point in marriage if sex, affairs, and cheating are so easily done? And so easily available?

matchboxfull

its

Sorry!

FreddieFrugal

matchboxfull wrote: »

its

Sorry!

First thing I saw too. Can't help it.

Clearly spelling, grammar and punctuation are losing their value.

thorsoak

Marriage only loses its value if people lose their values and self-control.

FreddieFrugal

Marriage hasn't lost its value as far as I'm concerned.

It's easier to divorce than it used to be, meaning that couples are less likely to just carry on regardless of their relationship difficulties.

People are looking for their soul mate, once the whirlwind subsides and they realise that they have too many issues, people leave hoping they still have time to find the one.

Many people marry really quickly without really knowing their partner. They're in love with the idea of them and as soon as they start to see them for what they are...

A really big issue is money of course. If you've tied yourself to an idiot with no concept of how to manage money then they can sink you.

People change.


However probably the biggest reason for increases in divorce rate is the fact that it's so much easier to leave a partner and there isn't the same extreme kind of social stigma attached to it that there used to be. (Depending on what sort of community you live in of course)


My wife and I were practically married for three years before we actually got married. We knew what we both wanted from life and we work well together to achieve it. We also love each other deeply.

But you need the practical compatibility part as well as the love for a marriage to actually last and you both remaining happy throughout.

Anatidaephobia

Marriage hasn't lost its value; it has just become easier to undo.

peachyprice

You think all this is new? Don't be silly, affairs are as old as the hills, it's just easier now for the person who is the victim to leave a marriage they don't want to stay in.

duchy

In some ways because there is less social pressure to marry then it could be argued that those who marry are choosing to do it rather than just follow the social norm so maybe getting married has greater value ?

A relationship that comes with a legal contract and a public declaration that isn't just to keep society happy but because they want to make a more visible commitment. Should that have more value ?

missbiggles1

peachyprice wrote: »

You think all this is new? Don't be silly, affairs are as old as the hills, it's just easier now for the person who is the victim to leave a marriage they don't want to stay in.

I'm not sure about the concept of "victim" within a marriage - it's simply easier for either party to walk away than it used to be when I was younger, with the major changes brought in by the 1969 Divorce Reform Act, nearly 50 years ago.

The rise of the benefits culture has also made separation and divorce more practicable for many couples, whether one thinks that a good thing or not.

Pennywise

duchy wrote: »

In some ways because there is less social pressure to marry then it could be argued that those who marry are choosing to do it rather than just follow the social norm so maybe getting married has greater value ?

A relationship that comes with a legal contract and a public declaration that isn't just to keep society happy but because they want to make a more visible commitment. Should that have more value ?

Unfortunately, in my social circle, the opposite has happened. Time and time again, I've seen friends and colleagues, who've cohabited for several years, get married and then break up within a year or two. The first couple of times, it seemed just a coincidence, but over the years, I've seen it time and time again. I can only imagine it's happened because one or both have some unrealistic expectations of marriage changing things for the better, and when it doesn't happen, the disappointment causes the break down. Similar perhaps to the age old issue of people with relationship problems having a child "to improve their relationship" when we in reality, bringing a child into a strong relationship is a challenge in itself, so a child into a problem relationship is unlikely to be a magic bullet!

missbiggles1

Pennywise wrote: »

Unfortunately, in my social circle, the opposite has happened. Time and time again, I've seen friends and colleagues, who've cohabited for several years, get married and then break up within a year or two. The first couple of times, it seemed just a coincidence, but over the years, I've seen it time and time again. I can only imagine it's happened because one or both have some unrealistic expectations of marriage changing things for the better, and when it doesn't happen, the disappointment causes the break down. Similar perhaps to the age old issue of people with relationship problems having a child "to improve their relationship" when we in reality, bringing a child into a strong relationship is a challenge in itself, so a child into a problem relationship is unlikely to be a magic bullet!

I know that you're not alone in reporting this but I've never seen it.

It makes me wonder whether some people have just been waiting for the "big day" and the lavish party whereas the people I know have had interesting, low key affairs, often within their own homes.