OH and in-laws

Andypandyboy

OP most of us work 8 hour shifts, that is a normal working day. If that is causing you problems I do think you need to your GP. Most of us can manage to work and socialise as long as it is not every night.

It sounds as if your OH does not see his family that much so it is nice that they have a lot to talk about. Sitting there withdrawn from the conversation would have appeared rude to them under the circumstances you outlined. If you were really so tired it would have been better to offer your apologies after the meal and go to bed.

LannieDuck

You don't have to join in with every part of your in-laws' socialising.

Your OH could have gone to his Dad's bday by himself. Or you could have excused yourself from the meal at the restaurant, or at the very least have gone to bed early when they were all sat around chatting. They were probably enjoying chatting with their son - there was no need for you to stay up if you don't want to.

You sound very stressed. Try and take a step back and work out which bits you don't need to do.

Mojisola

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If the OP had done an 8 hour shift starting at, say, 0600 then they could hardly have gone out to dinner when she got in from work, presumably at about 1700. She, on the other hand, could've taken a nap while they chatted, ready to go out later.

Whatever works - we're both showing the OP that there were other ways to handle the evening.

princeofpounds

I think the focus on 8 hours shifts is slightly misplaced. I presume the timeline went something like this:


5am wake up
6am work
4pm finish work (maybe more if breaks are not included)
7pm go out for meal
10pm get back home
11pm stop talking
11.30pm in bed
5am wake-up anticipated.


I agree, it's not the trial of Hercules. But it is a long, drawn-out day, especially if your work is intense.


I wake up every day at 5.30am. I would not really want to be socialising with anyone after 10pm, and whilst I probably would be able to make it until midnight on a Friday with only modest disengagement, if it was a worknight I would not find it acceptable. I would end up feeling sick and useless at work the next day.

summerlady_2

I suspect that your response to this situation is exacerbated by your feelings of depression. The best course of action would be to see your GP and get help.
If necessary you will need to take some time off work, or have some kind of talking therapy and/or medication.

tea_lover

princeofpounds wrote: »

I think the focus on 8 hours shifts is slightly misplaced. I presume the timeline went something like this:


5am wake up
6am work
4pm finish work (maybe more if breaks are not included)
7pm go out for meal
10pm get back home
11pm stop talking
11.30pm in bed
5am wake-up anticipated.

That's a 10hr day. If the OP started at 6am they'd be done by 2pm - so surely plenty of time for a rest before going out? I would imagine they start later though as I can't see anything about a 6am start (although I could just be being blind )

paddy's_mum

I agree with everyone else that all this could have been handled better but I also wonder why, if OH could say that by the end the OP looked ill, the visitors couldn't see it for themselves and apply a bit of consideration.

YorkshireLass4

OK, when I posted earlier, it was a massive rant full of all my worst thoughts because I can't vent elsewhere without sounding horrible. I am not a nightmare in real life, just very stressed out and worn down by my current situation. If I continue to feel this way, I will see my GP but I'm hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel very soon.

I can see some helpful suggestions here and I can see how I can handle the situation better in the future. Some have posted comments which I feel are unfair and upsetting - but you are entitled to your opinions and only have a snapshot of the situation so I am not going to get myself worked up going through and justifying myself. Thanks to all who contributed-next time I will find a different outlet for my venting as it obviously came across wrong!

lulu_92

Maybe OP felt as if she couldn't excuse herself or say anything? I know with my in laws anything I say like that would fall on deaf ears, or I'd get told I'm disrespectful.

paddy's_mum

Don't give up coming on here because there is a huge amount of common-sense and support in among the debris.

Take care.