Joint account angry man

Guest101

SAAA wrote: »

No I know for a fact he has no claim in the house. So he's never paid anything to you in relation to anything to do with the house? You own it outright with no mortgage?
Please stop judging my situation. - You've asked for advice, that's what your getting. It is what it is, the facts are clear. In no way was I implying I was left destitute. - You weren't, other were. I did say we needed more information, which you provided. thank you for that. However, that doesn't make it right that he should rack up a huge overdraft in my name when he has access to his rather large pay packet. - It's in his name and your name. Joint being the operative word. It doesn't make right that he should not tell me he's doing something financial which I am a part of, like cancelling all direct debits that impact on my life and therefore the life of the children. - morally I agree with you, but legally it's fine. Plus, my pay went into the joint account too. I was asking for help with facts and some people have given me just that - kind advice at a time when I am swimming around trying to keep afloat to keep normal life going, chasing after the mess he's caused whilst he delivers one more horrible email after another. Kind advice please, nothing else. Thanks.

If you want 'kind' advice, im sure there is a long list of friends and family (and paid for services) that can give you that.


And im sure there are plenty of people on here who will too.


No-one knows the reasons behind your break up, so mostly people have been neutral (and certainly no-one has been cruel)

SAAA

Guest101 - Financial advice. Not judgments about who is abusing who etc. yes you don't know, you have no idea so your apparent thoughts and 'musings' about what could be going on could be very distressing. Please keep those thoughts to yourself thanks. Surely being sensitive is a natural urge from one person to another, even on an online thread. If we were all sitting in a room you would be more careful about what you said and speculating about my situation, which for all you know could be very distressing, so as not to be rude or hurt someone's feelings? So it's the same online. Please take your speculation (I'm only talking about guest101 here, all others have been naturally very 'kind') and give it to others. Thanks.

Guest101

SAAA wrote: »

Guest101 - Financial advice. - Which is what I gave? And suggested to others that we should avoid going down the abuse route until we had more information? Not judgments about who is abusing who etc. - I wasn't making any judgments on that?? yes you don't know, you have no idea so your apparent thoughts and 'musings' about what could be going on could be very distressing - but not the musings of others who immediately jumped to the (wrongful) conclusion that you were being financially abused? . Please keep those thoughts to yourself thanks. -uhm, sorry, but you've posted on a public forum. Surely being sensitive is a natural urge from one person to another - Yes, sensitive, which I was. , even on an online thread. If we were all sitting in a room you would be more careful about what you said - no, I really wouldn't. and speculating about my situation, which for all you know could be very distressing - I wasn't speculating. I was doing the opposite of speculating.... , so as not to be rude or hurt someone's feelings? - I apologise if you feel I was being rude. So it's the same online. Please take your speculation (I'm only talking about guest101 here, all others have been naturally very 'kind') and give it to others. Thanks.

As I say


1: I wasn't speculating
2: I was giving pragmatic advice (which apparently you don't like)
3: you seem to like the 'kind' advice which was speculating on your status as an abuse victim


So i'll happily bow out (safe in the knowledge I have a very clear understanding of the dynamics of your previous relationship)


Goodluck

TBagpuss

OP, you won't be able to close the joint account without your partner's cooperation but you should bea ble t ofreeze it to prevent it becoming further overdrawn.

You will need to set up new DDs and SOs from an account in your sole name.

Unfortunately, as others have dsaid, the fact that it was a joint account means that what he did was not illegal and you have no automatic right to get the money back for your wages.

In relation to the rented house this is quite complicated. Assuming you are not married, there will be issues, potentially, about hwether the houe was transferred to you as a gift, or whether you were effectively holding it on trust for him, or for you both.

Yur best bet is to try to come to an agreement with him baout how to resolve the fiancial issues. See a solicitor to move things forward.

Assuming that the childnre are his as well as yours, and that they are still minors, he will of course be liable to pay child support - I would suggest that you ask him to arrange this, and then make an application via CMO if he doesn't (don't wait too long. It is more expensive to go through them than to sort it out between yourselves, but they can't back-date claims so if he is slow to respond then it may be more cost effective to pay the admin costs and start getting some support)

If you have a forwarding address for him then you an let the bank have it so that they can contact him about paying back the overdraft as well as you.

And make sure that the account you open in your own name is with a doffernet bank and is not owned by the same organisation, as most bank accounts have provision in the small print to allow thme to move money from one account you have with them to another to pay off debt, so if you oepn a new account with the same bank they could end up taking money from that to pay off the overdraft.

SAAA

Guest101 - with a comment like the last one, it really does say more about you than me, doesn't it. Bit personal, hey? But I will refrain from making any personal comments about you because... well I just wouldn't stoop to that level. You were speculating on what it could be - you even said it could be that I had been unfaithful, that I could be the one abusing etc. you don't know if I'm being financially abused, or anything else abused, so do take responsibility for your own comments and maybe take this as a lesson to be more careful on public forums? With views like yours it certainly sounds like this isn't the first time you've had forum disagreements, maybe you should take that as a lesson to be more careful in future.

Guest101

SAAA wrote: »

Guest101 - with a comment like the last one, it really does say more about you than me, doesn't it. Bit personal, hey? But I will refrain from making any personal comments about you because... well I just wouldn't stoop to that level. You were speculating on what it could be - you even said it could be that I had been unfaithful, that I could be the one abusing etc. you don't know if I'm being financially abused, or anything else abused, so do take responsibility for your own comments and maybe take this as a lesson to be more careful on public forums? With views like yours it certainly sounds like this isn't the first time you've had forum disagreements, maybe you should take that as a lesson to be more careful in future.

Hi,


If there was a lesson to learn, I must've missed it. But like I said goodluck to you


None of my previous comments were meant to be 'personal' and you seem to have taken them out of context.


I apologise for any offence caused.


I would really look into the 'no claim on my home' theory.


Take care


G101

tomtontom

Given that your original query has been answered, and this thread is going way off topic, is there any other help you need OP?

SAAA

Yes tomtontom, people are still answering so I'd like to keep the thread open thanks. There might be other good advice out there.