Joint account angry man

heuchera

Not being funny but Womens Aid is a small charity which is struggling to meet demand for its services. It is there to help women who are being abused or are suffering domestic violence, not for people whose ex has cleared off with a few hundred quid from their bank account.

We don't know enough about the OP to know if she has her own income, or job, or if he's cut off all her money completely. It might be worth her looking to see what benefits she is entitled to as a single parent.

The Debt-free wannabe board is also an excellent source of advice and information.

Guest101

jackyann wrote: »

I would definitely contact Women's Aid or your local Domestic Abuse unit - this IS abuse, and they have the expertise to help you deal with it.
As I understand it, legally the money is joint, but using bank statements to demonstrate what has happened will mean you can get some help - but it needs people who understand what is going on.

In the meantime, contact all of your utilities etc and explain - they won't let you off, but will be sympathetic whilst you get everything moving. Do the same with your housing.

DON'T borrow money at an an extortionate rate of interest. Talk to a family worker at your local Children's centre / kids' school, who can help you with things like access to local services, maybe a food bank.

Don't be afraid to ask for help to keep you & the kids afloat.

I'm sorry but this 'ISNT' abuse, it could be abuse. We don't know enough about the situation.


It's speculation, and I could easily speculate that the Ex's salary had been used to pay everything, she cheated on him and he's decided to get away from her.


It could be that the OP is abusive, the ex has decided to get away from her.


It could be....


- To be clear, i'm not saying that's the case. I'm saying jumping in with both feet is not advised.

Gigervamp

Well, cancelling the direct debits without telling the OP, so bills don't get paid, and clearing all the money out after her pay went in, IS abuse.

Guest101

Gigervamp wrote: »

Well, cancelling the direct debits without telling the OP, so bills don't get paid, and clearing all the money out after her pay went in, IS abuse.

Is it though?


Like I said, we don't know if his pay had already been spent, perhaps on the bills and the OP is talking about the next set?
+ it's his account and if he wants to cancel all the DDs then he can?


Like I say, it COULD be abuse, or it might not be.

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

Not being funny but Womens Aid is a small charity which is struggling to meet demand for its services. It is there to help women who are being abused or are suffering domestic violence, not for people whose ex has cleared off with a few hundred quid from their bank account.

We don't know enough about the OP to know if she has her own income, or job, or if he's cut off all her money completely. It might be worth her looking to see what benefits she is entitled to as a single parent.

The Debt-free wannabe board is also an excellent source of advice and information.

We do know she has a job, as she's told us that her salary went into the joint account and he's taken it all.

This does seem to clearly meet the definition of financial abuse, and Women's Aid and Refuge are very clear on their websites that they take that very seriously and offer support to women on the receiving end.

There s more to abuse than physical violence.

heuchera

Gigervamp wrote: »

Well, cancelling the direct debits without telling the OP, so bills don't get paid, and clearing all the money out after her pay went in, IS abuse.

As has already been stated, it's a joint account. Either one of them has the right to withdraw money or cancel direct debits, etc.

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

As has already been stated, it's a joint account. Either one of them has the right to withdraw money or cancel direct debits, etc.

Just because something is legal, doesn't mean it can't be an abusive act in certain circumstances.

Gigervamp

I realise that either account holder can do that, but why would anyone do that if not to cause financial hardship. Remember, he's left her with no money and didn't tell her that he'd cancelled the DDs.

Mojisola

Gigervamp wrote: »

I realise that either account holder can do that, but why would anyone do that if not to cause financial hardship. Remember, he's left her with no money and didn't tell her that he'd cancelled the DDs.

And why would someone do this to his kids?

He can be as angry as he likes with the OP but what kind of a father makes his own kids' lives difficult?

heuchera

Person_one wrote: »

We do know she has a job, as she's told us that her salary went into the joint account and he's taken it all.

This does seem to clearly meet the definition of financial abuse, and Women's Aid and Refuge are very clear on their websites that they take that very seriously and offer support to women on the receiving end.

There s more to abuse than physical violence.

I refer you to post 17. Either one of them can withdraw the money if it's a joint account. Legally he has done nothing wrong. Would it have been "abuse" if the OP had withdrawn all the money and left him with none? :think: The money in a joint account belongs to both of them. They are both liable to re-pay the overdraft.

As Guest says, we don't yet know the full story. It could be "abuse" but it's equally likely that it's an acrimonious split and both sides are at fault.

The OP mentions 'pay', which could mean salary or benefits money.