Joint account angry man

heuchera

Person_one wrote: »

Just because something is legal, doesn't mean it can't be an abusive act in certain circumstances.

Abuse is not legal..

SAAA

Thank you for you replies.
I do have access to funds as we rent a house out. Currently I am the only one who has access (tax reasons) but I intend on splitting what is there obviously. However, as part of the abuse he makes situations much worse and currently is bitter that he has no claim on my house. He's on such a high salary compared to me and has benefitted by not paying the tax on this rental that he should have done. No matter though, he ignores that because... well he's just not very nice to me.
He's been on and off abusive in this way, mostly emotionally but other things too.
Anyway I've started a new bank account where my pay goes in and contacted utilities and insurance companies.
By cancelling direct debits he has caused the most damage, so whilst dealing with the poor kids who are under a lot of strain and my job and the house there's lots of other things to sort out. Hey at least we have a roof over our heads and access to money.
The joint account is very overdrawn as he took out nearly £4k before changing my access to it. I've just spent hours on the phone to the bank, we have to go there together to close it but not until we've cleared the overdraft which he made happen due to taking out £4k. Ho hum onwards and upwards...

heuchera

It's an acrimonious split, as suspected. Nobody has been left starving and destitute. I'm sure it will all get sorted in time.

RAS

SAAA wrote: »

T
Anyway I've started a new bank account where my pay goes in and contacted utilities and insurance companies.
By cancelling direct debits he has caused the most damage, so whilst dealing with the poor kids who are under a lot of strain and my job and the house there's lots of other things to sort out. Hey at least we have a roof over our heads and access to money.
The joint account is very overdrawn as he took out nearly £4k before changing my access to it. I've just spent hours on the phone to the bank, we have to go there together to close it but not until we've cleared the overdraft which he made happen due to taking out £4k. Ho hum onwards and upwards...

Get down the the bank immediately and ensure that any further debits require both signatures. Otherwise he could just up the OD limit and your are even more in debt.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

We do know she has a job, as she's told us that her salary went into the joint account and he's taken it all.

This does seem to clearly meet the definition of financial abuse, and Women's Aid and Refuge are very clear on their websites that they take that very seriously and offer support to women on the receiving end.

There s more to abuse than physical violence.

Whoa whoa whoa, I agree it's serious.


But:


1: 2 charities taking something seriously doesn't mean squat.
2: It might be, or could be, financial abuse. They are very clear on their website, however the situation here is far from clear.

Guest101

Gigervamp wrote: »

I realise that either account holder can do that, but why would anyone do that if not to cause financial hardship. Remember, he's left her with no money and didn't tell her that he'd cancelled the DDs.

Perhaps he was being abused by the OP?


We don't know. which is why jumping to conclusions is far from the right move. More information needed.

Guest101

SAAA wrote: »

Thank you for you replies.
I do have access to funds as we rent a house out. Currently I am the only one who has access (tax reasons) but I intend on splitting what is there obviously. However, as part of the abuse he makes situations much worse and currently is bitter that he has no claim on my house. He's on such a high salary compared to me and has benefitted by not paying the tax on this rental that he should have done. No matter though, he ignores that because... well he's just not very nice to me.
He's been on and off abusive in this way, mostly emotionally but other things too.
Anyway I've started a new bank account where my pay goes in and contacted utilities and insurance companies.
By cancelling direct debits he has caused the most damage, so whilst dealing with the poor kids who are under a lot of strain and my job and the house there's lots of other things to sort out. Hey at least we have a roof over our heads and access to money.
The joint account is very overdrawn as he took out nearly £4k before changing my access to it. I've just spent hours on the phone to the bank, we have to go there together to close it but not until we've cleared the overdraft which he made happen due to taking out £4k. Ho hum onwards and upwards...

I'd check this statement:


currently is bitter that he has no claim on my house.


I suspect you might be incorrect.

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

1: 2 charities taking something seriously doesn't mean squat.

I, wait...what?

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

I, wait...what?

I mean, that legally this is irrelevant.


Anyway, as it turns out the OP hasn't been left destitute, which is why we needed more information.

SAAA

No I know for a fact he has no claim in the house.
Please stop judging my situation. It is what it is, the facts are clear. In no way was I implying I was left destitute. However, that doesn't make it right that he should rack up a huge overdraft in my name when he has access to his rather large pay packet. It doesn't make right that he should not tell me he's doing something financial which I am a part of, like cancelling all direct debits that impact on my life and therefore the life of the children. Plus, my pay went into the joint account too. I was asking for help with facts and some people have given me just that - kind advice at a time when I am swimming around trying to keep afloat to keep normal life going, chasing after the mess he's caused whilst he delivers one more horrible email after another. Kind advice please, nothing else. Thanks.