DM Article

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think it is, not by anybody who is ever taken seriously, anyway!

Abuse is about control and it's widely cited as a form of control- you should look in to it, you'd be surprised.

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

Abuse is about control and it's widely cited as a form of control- you should look in to it, you'd be surprised.

Why don't you post a couple of links to some of these 'citations' and I will look at them.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Why don't you post a couple of links to some of these 'citations' and I will look at them.

http://new.mankind.org.uk/help-for-victims/types-of-domestic-abuse/

http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/partner-stops-giving-silent-pain-emotional-withholding-fiff/

http://www.welshwomensaid.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=57&Itemid=126

http://www.sandwellwomensaid.co.uk/domestic-abuse.html

There you go, links to specialists in both genders who state that withholding and or withdrawing affection and or intimacy is a sign of abuse. Hope that helps

Person_one

Guest101 wrote: »

http://new.mankind.org.uk/help-for-victims/types-of-domestic-abuse/

http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/partner-stops-giving-silent-pain-emotional-withholding-fiff/

http://www.welshwomensaid.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=57&Itemid=126

http://www.sandwellwomensaid.co.uk/domestic-abuse.html

There you go, links to specialists in both genders who state that withholding and or withdrawing affection and or intimacy is a sign of abuse. Hope that helps

Well, I am officially surprised. I agree that deliberately withholding affection, with intent to hurt and control, is abusive, but I'm disappointed to see these organisations seeming to endorse the idea that partners somehow 'owe' each other sex. We all have ultimate rights over our bodies, and nobody should ever feel guilty for saying no to sex if they don't want it, for whatever reason.

heuchera

"owe"? that's a funny way of looking at it!

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

"owe"? that's a funny way of looking at it!

Yes, I agree, but if 'withholding' it can be considered abusive what else can they mean?

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Well, I am officially surprised. I agree that deliberately withholding affection, with intent to hurt and control, is abusive, but I'm disappointed to see these organisations seeming to endorse the idea that partners somehow 'owe' each other sex. We all have ultimate rights over our bodies, and nobody should ever feel guilty for saying no to sex if they don't want it, for whatever reason.

Perhaps. But I'd go one further:

Either it's ok to say no to anything for any reason, or all of it should be on the table. I don't see why sex should be a special case?

But anyway, this wasn't really my original point. Glad I could help though

heuchera

Person_one wrote: »

Yes, I agree, but if 'withholding' it can be considered abusive what else can they mean?

A couple are two people "who are married or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually" to take the dictionary definition.

So it's fair to assume that one or both of them would want to express themselves (with the other) sexually. Maliciously denying someone that is quite a fundamental thing.

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

A couple are two people "who are married or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually" to take the dictionary definition.

So it's fair to assume that one or both of them would want to express themselves (with the other) sexually. Maliciously denying someone that is quite a fundamental thing.

Bodily autonomy is a fundamental thing.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Yes, I agree, but if 'withholding' it can be considered abusive what else can they mean?

Id say it comes down to reasonably expect to happen.

So similar to witholding finances. Or preventing from working. Or socialising. Or expressing their opinion. Or..

Emotional and psychological control is deep rooted. Often the victim
Is physically capable of walking away without a scratch ( though not always of course)

In many cases a relationship evolves and with good communication and reasonableness there are no longterm problems.

I'd suggest that should one party take away an aspect of the relationship suddenly, without discussion, it would be difficult to cope with