Reluctant executor what to do

xylophone

The solicitor I engaged categorically stated that I would be responsible for the legal fees. I did challenge them on this, but they were adamant it could not be charged to the estate.

Could the judge not award costs against your brother?

mollmollymoll

i have similar problem, was living with my partner for 19 years not married, partner has died no will, now his son will not start probate, i cannot do it as i want to claim from partners estate. no one seems to be able to do anything my solicitor says just wait! surely there must be something someone can do.

Yorkshireman99

mollmollymoll wrote: »

i have similar problem, was living with my partner for 19 years not married, partner has died no will, now his son will not start probate, i cannot do it as i want to claim from partners estate. no one seems to be able to do anything my solicitor says just wait! surely there must be something someone can do.

Sadly the solicitor is right. Have you made a will?

jimmy_cricket

xylophone wrote: »

Could the judge not award costs against your brother?

I would imagine that this would be the case xylophone. I'm not sure what would happen it it got as far as court, but not far enough for a hearing and judgement. This would still rack up a lot of legal fees and I'm not sure whether in this instance whether sibling could be forced to cover the costs. I guess that it is a question for the solicitor

marcelli

I am presuming that it is because you and you alone are appointing the solicitor then that is why you would be his sole client and in that case liable for the bill. However, if, and it is, reasonable to conduct a survey before a sale, then ultimately you could request that your brother share the cost, but it sounds as if he is not in the mood to be reasonable. I think the solicitor should have explained this to you, but don't suppose you have any redress as he will no doubt suggest that he did, or that you were somehow aware of this.
Can you "grovel" a bit with your brother? Maybe say that you realise he is grieving/hurt over the recent death, but that you are dealing with your grief in a different way (people do), but that matters need to be resolved to your mutual satisfaction. You probably have enough tact/discretion to deal with him your way, and it is just a suggestion to maybe unlock the deadlock. He sounds unable to make any decisions at the moment (perhaps always), wants what seems easiest, resents your practical approach and perhaps is interpreting your practicality as you steam rolling him into action he does not want to take - obviously, he should discuss matters with you, and whether he likes it or not, you are entitled to a say. It's just not worth considering legal action yet; it is so expensive and exhausting. I do hope you manage to sort it out before you sink under the frustration and passive aggression.

jimmy_cricket

marcelli wrote: »

I am presuming that it is because you and you alone are appointing the solicitor then that is why you would be his sole client and in that case liable for the bill. However, if, and it is, reasonable to conduct a survey before a sale, then ultimately you could request that your brother share the cost, but it sounds as if he is not in the mood to be reasonable. I think the solicitor should have explained this to you, but don't suppose you have any redress as he will no doubt suggest that he did, or that you were somehow aware of this.
Can you "grovel" a bit with your brother? Maybe say that you realise he is grieving/hurt over the recent death, but that you are dealing with your grief in a different way (people do), but that matters need to be resolved to your mutual satisfaction. You probably have enough tact/discretion to deal with him your way, and it is just a suggestion to maybe unlock the deadlock. He sounds unable to make any decisions at the moment (perhaps always), wants what seems easiest, resents your practical approach and perhaps is interpreting your practicality as you steam rolling him into action he does not want to take - obviously, he should discuss matters with you, and whether he likes it or not, you are entitled to a say. It's just not worth considering legal action yet; it is so expensive and exhausting. I do hope you manage to sort it out before you sink under the frustration and passive aggression.

Hi Marcella, thanks for the suggestions.
I'm quite happy to pay for a valuation. The surveyorbwas very kind and only charged £120 for a very detailed red book? valuation. The issue is the solicitor fees to take the matter through the courts so as to finalise the estate. This is a minimum of 7k if uncontested, sky's the limit if contested. I'm doing this not as a beneficiary but as executor so as to finalise the estate.
Re the kind words you say about my brother, I understand that you are trying to suggest an unconfrontational way through this, but it just isn't possible given their stance. In summary:

The day after mum passed we had a conversation where sibling wanted to market the property. I offered to buy them out and they immediately changed their mind and wanted to keep it in joint ownership

I was left to organise and pay for the funeral and sibling just disappeared as they were 'far too busy'

When I began to collect money in, I took the cost of the funeral out of this (all documented, with receipts and sibling kept fully informed), I was accused of stealing from the estate

I have cleared the house of all personal effects, sibling refused to help

I have been accused of trying to diddle them out of the property by trying to buy it on the cheap (discussions have never progressed this far)

I have had other bullying correspondence from sibling, for example, comment on my marriage (totally unrelated but hey ho)

Emails stating that they cannot afford to keep the house going. My solution of either buying them out or putting it on the market were completely ignored

Sibling then coming round to buying them out but wanting silly money and not willing to discuss sensibly

The property is a long way from where we both live and the insurance states it needs to be occupied every 60 days. Sibling refuses to go, so it is left to me to leave my family and visit. Sibling tried to charge me a nightly rate for staying there. And no, I'm not charging the cost of travel to the estate



I could go on. But you get the picture...

Edit to,add, over the years sibling has had thousands of pounds from my mother and basically bled her dry. I don't mind this as it was here money to do what she wished with. But, I am not going to let this transfer onto me, which is what sibling is trying to do

Second edit, to summarise and offer the full picture, this has been going on for over two years

xylophone

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/media/5139437/land-disputes-a-guide-to-procedureweb.pdf


may be worth a look.

You should make a formal written request to your brother to complete administration, providing him with a copy of the RICS valuation and asking him either to buy you out or be bought out by you for half that sum?

You should send the letter "signed for" and allow him a month to reply?


If he fails to reply or refuses your offer you can approach the court?

You should be prepared to make a full statement, with examples, of your brother's unreasonable behaviour, showing that you have made every effort to reach an accommodation?

Given your brother's obstructiveness you should have a good case?

xylophone

However, until I have a buyer for the property, it is all rather academic

There is no point in your having a buyer unless you can be certain your brother will cooperate or you have legal authority to sell "over his head" as it were?

marcelli

I just feel that his stance is so blind and ready to blame you, so if you can disarm him a bit by implying him capable of some goodwill, then he might surprise both himself and you by responding at least honestly. As Xylophone indicated, he needs to be aware that the estate must be wound up sometime, and this is just a way of pointing that out to him

You say: The day after mum passed we had a conversation where sibling wanted to market the property. I offered to buy them out and they immediately changed their mind and wanted to keep it in joint ownership - Yep, as soon as you said this, it occurred to me that he was thinking – “Oops I’ve missed out here, it must be worth something for Brother to think of buying it” and then later that is exactly what he accused you of. So, it sounds like constant projection on his part, and if you are straight up with him he will only accuse you of bullying him, which is why I wonder if you can step back (sorry, that’s a bit modern isn’t it?) but sort of take a breath and not expect a reasonable response for the first couple of attempts as he will think you are up to something (because that’s what he does).

Yes, 2 years is such a long time, and it’s not as if you have not tried, but he is the one who is tied in knots, and perhaps envious of your openness. They say, when you reach the end of your tether, you should tie a knot in it and hold on, and, I was looking at something in the light of having read your post last night, which suggested that having tried to reach a conclusion, you could suggest a meeting to discuss (I know, he won’t agree to that), and then suggest the alternative of meeting with someone independent present to adjudicate, as it were. He will probably not want any of that either, but he may think you have been advised by some solicitor or other to do this, and start to think that his behaviour is under scrutiny, which might just concentrate his mind.

I know you can’t let him walk all over you, and maybe the legal route is ultimately the only option, but it’s so exhausting and expensive, though you could point that out to him too at some point.

My turn not to go on! Just wishing you well.

jimmy_cricket

xylophone wrote: »

https://www.slatergordon.co.uk/media/5139437/land-disputes-a-guide-to-procedureweb.pdf


may be worth a look.

You should make a formal written request to your brother to complete administration, providing him with a copy of the RICS valuation and asking him either to buy you out or be bought out by you for half that sum?

You should send the letter "signed for" and allow him a month to reply?



If he fails to reply or refuses your offer you can approach the court?

You should be prepared to make a full statement, with examples, of your brother's unreasonable behaviour, showing that you have made every effort to reach an accommodation?

Given your brother's obstructiveness you should have a good case?

Done already xylophone. The letter was sent in July. Rather than sending signed for, which I thought he might refuse to accept, I sent from two separate post offices, getting a receipt from each. My understanding is this would be seen as proof of delivery by a court.

The letter was ignored, so my next move in late September was to get a solicitor involved. They wrote to sibling explaining that the estate needed finalising and the property put on the market. They asked that sibling write to confirm agreement. This letter has also been ignored. Hence now why court seems to be the only option.

I will have a good read of you link, thanks