Nice People Thread No. 15, a Cyber Summer

ivyleaf

Pyxis No, not too scary though does look marginally scarier from the front.

Maggie I have diverticular disease too; the first thing i was told after the colonoscopy (3 years ago) was that I'd need to avoid anything with tiny seeds, such as tomatoes, raspberries and strawberries (all of which i really like), but the literature i was given to take home said it is really a question of trial and error, since a food that upsets one person's system may be fine for someone else, and I am indeed able to eat tomatoes, raspberries and strawberries

Atm I'm having problems higher up; I've been producing too much stomach acid, so have now been told to double my acid-reducing meds. Also having a blood test next week, as I'm getting pain that could be from my pancreas. Such fun. Hoping "It will all be over by Christmas"

PasturesNew

ivyleaf wrote: »

anything with tiny seeds, such as tomatoes, raspberries and strawberries (all of which i really like)

.... I am indeed able to eat tomatoes, raspberries and strawberries

I'd have thought:
- scoop out the seeds part of tomatoes
- avoid raspberries as they're too hard to deseed
- peel strawbs as the seeds are only on the outside skin

SingleSue

GDB2222 wrote: »

Can you help him to be better at this?

Explain, for example, that the boys find it very difficult that he only turns up once a year? They'd rather hear from him more often, even if that's for less time.

Also, you could tell him what the boys do like to do.

Don't quote, may well delete when I think better of it...it's a part of my life I would prefer to forget.

Tried and tried and tried over very many years, usually ends with him shouting at me, once very famously (well to the neighbours) outside the house whilst destroying stuff in the front garden. Apparently I have no right to question him.

Please remember that this was the man that had us walking on egg shells and physically and verbally abused both me and middle son in front of social services which resulted in lots of grief for me and the boys for the next year or so despite us already having separated .

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

Don't quote, may well delete ...

My opinions higher up this page were informed by memories of Sue posting this kind of thing in the past.

But I will back down now. Thread is for nice people, and all that...

SingleSue

Thanks Lydia, it is a difficult subject for me even now and especially when he is in town. I am stronger than I was back then but he still has the ability to make me feel like a complete failure when he is here so emotions are a bit all over the place tonight.

LydiaJ

Sue, you are so not a failure. Your boys have turned out so much better than people expected - remember all those dire predictions from primary school about one of them being more or less impossible to educate, and the way they confounded their teachers at secondary school by achieving so much. That's down to you. Single parenting is bloody hard work, even when none of your kids is on the spectrum, you have plenty of money, and neither you nor they have physical disabilities. You're amazing - a monumental success, and if he can't see it, that's his blindness. I mean, honestly, should any weight be attached to the opinion of a man who thinks taking Youngest shopping for fun is a bright idea?

SingleSue

Bloody silly as it is (and I know it is), even after all these years, he knows exactly which buttons to press to make me feel like that and like an idiot, I succumb every time.

Anyway, let's get onto happier subjects....how is everyone's Christmas shopping going?

Pyxis

SingleSue, big hugs. :A
Just want to say this, then I'll shut up!

There's a big chance that he's feeling guilty, either consciously or subconsciously, and when people feel guilty, the 'best' way to assuage those guilt feelings is to turn the blame onto someone else, and then either provoke a reaction from them ("see what a 'nasty' person she is) or if no reaction, ie. silence, then it's ("see! You've nothing to say! No counter-argument! Hence I'm right!)
It's guilt, insecurity, immaturity, low self-esteem and downright bullying tactics. :mad:

LydiaJ wrote: »

My opinions higher up this page were informed by memories of Sue posting this kind of thing in the past.

But I will back down now. Thread is for nice people, and all that...

But Lydia, you were being nice! You were indignant on Sue's behalf, and protective of her!
You were angry that she was being bullied, and that makes you a very nice person!
Standing by and letting injustice happen isn't being nice!
Good for you! Hugs :A

LydiaJ wrote: »

Sue, you are so not a failure. Your boys have turned out so much better than people expected - remember all those dire predictions from primary school about one of them being more or less impossible to educate, and the way they confounded their teachers at secondary school by achieving so much. That's down to you. Single parenting is bloody hard work, even when none of your kids is on the spectrum, you have plenty of money, and neither you nor they have physical disabilities. You're amazing - a monumental success, and if he can't see it, that's his blindness. I mean, honestly, should any weight be attached to the opinion of a man who thinks taking Youngest shopping for fun is a bright idea?

Sue, I can't believe how well you've done! Despite not being 100% well yourself. Your boys are reaching their full potential, which is a lot greater than many children without their health problems. They are becoming independent, active and productive citizens, with good values.
You have every reason to be extremely proud of yourself, you know. :T
Three cheers for Sue! :j

Pyxis

Caught a thing on the news this morning about a firm who are offering DNA profiling free to their employees. The management did it themselves, and there were surprising results, with many people having a big mix of origins, very different from what they expected.

The idea is that by showing that arbitrary nationalities like British, Danish or whatever, are irrelevant in DNA profiling, it will help to break down barriers by showing that the majority of people have very mixed origins, some very unexpected, and hence bring people closer together.
Our ultimate origins all seem to have started with just one tribe anyway!

What very nice people they are!

silvercar

Pyxis wrote: »

Caught a thing on the news this morning about a firm who are offering DNA profiling free to their employees. The management did it themselves, and there were surprising results, with many people having a big mix of origins, very different from what they expected.

The idea is that by showing that arbitrary nationalities like British, Danish or whatever, are irrelevant in DNA profiling, it will help to break down barriers by showing that the majority of people have very mixed origins, some very unexpected, and hence bring people closer together.
Our ultimate origins all seem to have started with just one tribe anyway!

What very nice people they are!

The whole idea that people need to discover their own background to show that they need to be nice to others....