When your son/daughter has mental health issues

Flyonthewall

Outofdepth wrote: »

he is impossible to reason with, he says no to most things and as he has a lot of anger it's difficult to push it. He went to mind for a while, joined in with the clubs & hated it.
He's so complex he can have a melt down, self harm & scare us all witless, if we try to talk about it he will deny it & what's scary is it's like he believes it. He's very demanding, reminds me of a toddler, hates to do "anything" for himself, resists all the way.

We explained how the anger management could make him feel better, he kicked off about it, basically it made him angry (sigh)

Does he hate the fact he needs help? He knows he does really but is in denial? That could maybe lead to him being defensive and angry, especially if he doesn't have any way of dealing with a lot of how he's feeling.

Whether he likes it or not he clearly needs help. The social worker saw it straight away. It might be a case of forcing him into something he's not happy with in order to get him help.

Hopefully the doctor will help you.

tomtontom

heuchera wrote: »

I think social services are fobbing you off. If he's got these disabilities he needs to go into a unit. Your GP should be able to access help for you, but some doctors are better than others..

I know you wouldn't but what would happen if you were to throw him out onto the street? They'd have to help him then, wouldn't they.

Have you got a Carers Centre near you, who you could ask for advice?

Good luck, it sounds very stressful.

Please do not do this. There is an ill conceived idea that if mentally ill people are homeless or dumped at A&E or SS that they'll magically get help. The fact is most of these people do not get the help they need, there is little supported housing available and even fewer mental health beds. So they get discharged and with nowhere else to go they end up on the streets.

I wish I had an answer for you OP, you're not alone and you're all too aware of how dire mental health support is. But please don't consider dumping your son in the hope that he'll get help - I've seen it happen and it could be the last you see of him alive.

vodkawitch1

I feel so sorry for you all having been through it first with my hubby, then with my son. Only time my son got real help was when he had to be sectioned.

Maybe that would be a way of getting help for your son, we contacted the crisis intervention team.

theoretica

I have a relative with similar, but by the sound of it milder issues. His parents refuse to let social services move him back to their home and SS have paid for residential care for him since he was sectioned. The care is basic and far from ideal, but is there and the wellbeing of the three of them is much higher than if he lived with his parents.

kezzygirl

fedupfreddie wrote: »

Ask your gp to refer you to the local crisis team. If he is a danger to himself or others he can be sectioned under the mental health act. Then he will be taken to hospital and receive treatment.


You will have to fight for it and make it clear that you are afraid and unable to cope.

Bit drastic, don't you think? informal admission is always the preferred option than depriving someone of their liberty.

Op, ultimately, he has to want to help himself and by the sounds of it, he has said that he does not want it. It would be up to social services/mh services to decide if that is a capacitous decision and you are certainly entitled to a carers assessment but please do not think that getting him detained is the answer (as a previous poster seemed to imply).


He sounds as though he needs a community mh nurse to help him learn to manage his emotions and learn different ways of coping than hitting out or hurting himself or others. the gp is the gateway to this, thankfully the one you have seen appears to have their head screwed on. I wish you luck

Flyonthewall

kezzygirl wrote: »

Bit drastic, don't you think? informal admission is always the preferred option than depriving someone of their liberty.

Op, ultimately, he has to want to help himself and by the sounds of it, he has said that he does not want it. It would be up to social services/mh services to decide if that is a capacitous decision and you are certainly entitled to a carers assessment but please do not think that getting him detained is the answer (as a previous poster seemed to imply).

He sounds as though he needs a community mh nurse to help him learn to manage his emotions and learn different ways of coping than hitting out or hurting himself or others. the gp is the gateway to this, thankfully the one you have seen appears to have their head screwed on. I wish you luck

It should be the last option. However, he is a danger to himself and others and has refused help. If that continues to be the case OP won't have much choice.

It won't be a decision made lightly, but if it comes to that OP shouldn't feel bad as it will be clear it has become their only option. They've tried other ways, numerous options have been suggested on here and OP is doing their best.

I don't disagree with you, but you seem to be ruling it out completely and the reality is that it might need to be considered one day. Hopefully not but at least OP will have advice on it if it does come to that.

theoretica

If someone is detained under section 3 then social services, and health services, have a duty to provide appropriate aftercare. This does not happen with voluntary admissions.

kezzygirl

theoretica wrote: »

If someone is detained under section 3 then social services, and health services, have a duty to provide appropriate aftercare. This does not happen with voluntary admissions.

I am well aware of that, but that is not a reason to detain someone, so they can access services under sec117.

kezzygirl

Flyonthewall wrote: »

It should be the last option. However, he is a danger to himself and others and has refused help. If that continues to be the case OP won't have much choice.

It won't be a decision made lightly, but if it comes to that OP shouldn't feel bad as it will be clear it has become their only option. They've tried other ways, numerous options have been suggested on here and OP is doing their best.

I don't disagree with you, but you seem to be ruling it out completely and the reality is that it might need to be considered one day. Hopefully not but at least OP will have advice on it if it does come to that.

I am certainly not ruling it out, but regardless, he would be detained under sec 2 initially, which is up to 28days, then sec 3 for up to six months so not automatically granted access to 117 aftercare and accomodation etc.

You are right, if it does come to that then the op certainly should not feel bad.It just seems to me that people are implying he should be detained without considering the seriousness and the impact this could have upon him as a person. Hospitals are not always the best places for people to be, certainly if they can be helped in the community with proper support.

itsanne

kezzygirl wrote: »

I am certainly not ruling it out, but regardless, he would be detained under sec 2 initially, which is up to 28days, then sec 3 for up to six months so not automatically granted access to 117 aftercare and accomodation etc.

You are right, if it does come to that then the op certainly should not feel bad.It just seems to me that people are implying he should be detained without considering the seriousness and the impact this could have upon him as a person. Hospitals are not always the best places for people to be, certainly if they can be helped in the community with proper support.

If he's refused other help, he's not likely to accept informal admission. If he did and then changed his mind he'd be discharged straight back to the OP and things woud be no further forward. Yes being detained is serious, but so is the whole family's predicament. At least being sectioned should mean planning for the next step. (I'm not saying he should be sectioned - there's not enough information for any of us to do that.)

The son is not the only one suffering here. If you've (general 'you') never experienced just how bad things can be it can be difficult to understand that sometimes what seems like a drastic measure is actually the best way forward.