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urgent advice needed re divorce finances

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24

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  • goodwithsaving
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    Morally,I think inheritance should be left out of divorce settlements. I couldn't take it. A solicitor will chase the money, but decide what's best for you. If you have no children, it should be much more straightforward. Good luck, and don't forget to look after your heart & head as well as the paperwork.
  • divadee
    divadee Posts: 10,609 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
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    It depends how amicable he wants to be. I think he realises you could go for a lot more than the 5k and he is offering that amount quickly to get it all settled while everything is still raw and fresh. Do not agree to anything at this time. They don't have to be settled so quickly (take it from someone who left with hardly anything as I just wanted it settled quickly!)

    I would work out the equity in both houses, if they are about even then it would be stupid to claim equity off each other so you just each have your own home. Then when things are calmer I would look at all the savings you have since you were married (and the inheritance does fall into that as he had it before he told you his intentions) and split them 50/50. Any savings amounts you had before marriage should go to each party.
  • hemple
    hemple Posts: 17 Forumite
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    ok thanks for the advice, I wont do anything rashly and will see a solicitor in the next few days.


    and I know what you mean about morally re the inheritance but I was the one who actually chased it down for him through heir hunters and he had never met or heard of the relative, didn't know she existed and says he doesn't want to know anything about her now, so not so bothered about the moral aspect on this occasion!
  • carefullycautious
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    hemple wrote: »
    ok thanks for the advice, I wont do anything rashly and will see a solicitor in the next few days.


    and I know what you mean about morally re the inheritance but I was the one who actually chased it down for him through heir hunters and he had never met or heard of the relative, didn't know she existed and says he doesn't want to know anything about her now, so not so bothered about the moral aspect on this occasion!


    What a lovely man he sounds (not :mad:) You are well rid by the sound of it
  • Floxxie
    Floxxie Posts: 2,852 Forumite
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    Definitely speak to a good solicitor and there is also https://www.wikivorce.com to have a look at.
    Mortgage start September 2015 £90000 MFiT #06
  • hemple
    hemple Posts: 17 Forumite
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    well im sure I will feel like that eventually but at the moment im just devastated.
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,320 Forumite
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    hemple wrote: »
    well im sure I will feel like that eventually but at the moment im just devastated.

    Exactly the reason why you shouldn't be making any hasty decisions right now
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  • Floxxie
    Floxxie Posts: 2,852 Forumite
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    hemple wrote: »
    well im sure I will feel like that eventually but at the moment im just devastated.

    I'm afraid it tends to get much worse before it gets better :(
    Mortgage start September 2015 £90000 MFiT #06
  • Lunar_Eclipse
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    Sorry to hear about your separation.

    If you go down the legal route, it sounds like you will get more than he is offering. Or, looking at it another way, you might 'lose' 5k if a judge decides the inheritance should all be his.

    Assuming you haven't missed out key information, I would settle quickly with an equal split on the inheritance and you both keep your own houses/pensions/any pre-marital assets. Or a figure very close to half. I actually think his offer is insulting and he's possibly taking advantage of your emotional state of mind. You are married, so all assets and liabilities are jointly owned.
  • Serendipitious
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    It's a massive shock to have to handle and dealing with the emotional impact will take time, so give yourself plenty of time to adjust before making financial decisions.

    Also, if he is the one who wants the divorce then he should pay for the cost of it - that can be an expensive item in itself.
    “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”




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