Innapropriate reference on child support bank payment

TBagpuss

It is a nasty, petty, infantile thing for him to do.
You could report it to the police as harassment. I do not think it would be pwtty or wasting time for you to do so. Victims of abuse and bullying are oftentold to 'get over it' or 'don't let them see they've got to you' and often this is just an excuse for not confronting or chalenging the person causing the problem.
So if you decide to stand up to this nast, bullying behaviour then go for it.

However, if you decide that that would be too stressful or unpleasant for you, then I think the suggestion to change to a new bank account so you don't ned to check these statemetns may work.

Another option worth considering might bve to send him a letter stating that all maintenace payments should be sent wioth a reference 'child support' and that any money received using any other referecne will be assumed to be a gift in addition to the child support he is required to pay, and theat sending any payments using other references wiill be accepted as confiormation he understands and accepts this, and the CMO will be made aware of all late or missing payments.

I doubt it would work, long term, in terms of persauding CMO he had not paid, but he may decide to play safe.

DUTR

TBagpuss wrote: »

It is a nasty, petty, infantile thing for him to do.
You could report it to the police as harassment. I do not think it would be pwtty or wasting time for you to do so. Victims of abuse and bullying are oftentold to 'get over it' or 'don't let them see they've got to you' and often this is just an excuse for not confronting or chalenging the person causing the problem.
So if you decide to stand up to this nast, bullying behaviour then go for it.

However, if you decide that that would be too stressful or unpleasant for you, then I think the suggestion to change to a new bank account so you don't ned to check these statemetns may work.

Another option worth considering might bve to send him a letter stating that all maintenace payments should be sent wioth a reference 'child support' and that any money received using any other referecne will be assumed to be a gift in addition to the child support he is required to pay, and theat sending any payments using other references wiill be accepted as confiormation he understands and accepts this, and the CMO will be made aware of all late or missing payments.

I doubt it would work, long term, in terms of persauding CMO he had not paid, but he may decide to play safe.

You see you are rising to the bait too, if he puts she devil child support, then it has met the criteria (it should include child support in any case to cover himself) at the same time, by using the money it is deemed accepted and not as a gift. many get an annual statement showing what has been paid and if there are any debit credit on the account.

jackyann

The other thing that occurs to me is that should this man wish, in the future, to go to court for access to his child, this behaviour will count against him
Of course, he may know that he will never get access (depending on why it was stopped)

LGY

Why don't you open up another bank account or savings account, give him those details & then do a transfer over into your actual bank account.
Then you never have to see the reference.
He is only doing it because he is bitter. Sad man!

whitegoods_engineer

I actually find it quite funny. Sounds like he's decent enough and had been paying on time etc. To put a little barbed comment as a reference isn't actually so bad and all of the hysterical people on here suggesting police action need to get a grip of themselves!

smallholdingsister

This term is clearly abusive.
OP I can completely understand how this feels to you and the misogynists who tell you to put up and shut up are just colluding in the archaic attitudes to women that still exist in some areas of our society.

DUTR

smallholdingsister wrote: »

This term is clearly abusive.
OP I can completely understand how this feels to you and the misogynists who tell you to put up and shut up are just colluding in the archaic attitudes to women that still exist in some areas of our society.

The OP hasn't been online since Ash Wednesday.

Guest101

smallholdingsister wrote: »

This term is clearly abusive.
OP I can completely understand how this feels to you and the misogynists who tell you to put up and shut up are just colluding in the archaic attitudes to women that still exist in some areas of our society.

Whilst you are conforming to the new attitude of calling all men who don't agree with you misogynists. - All swings and roundabouts

fed_up_and_stressed

Guest101 wrote: »

Whilst you are conforming to the new attitude of calling all men who don't agree with you misogynists. - All swings and roundabouts

And who is to say anyway it is only men that disagrees with smallholdingsister ?

Last time I checked I was definately female 😆

smallholdingsister

Guest101 wrote: »

Whilst you are conforming to the new attitude of calling all men who don't agree with you misogynists. - All swings and roundabouts

Yep I don't think I mentioned men.

I apologise for calling names however these ARE responses which perpetuate inappropriate and sexist attitudes.

You don't have to be a man to have a sexist attitude.