Innapropriate reference on child support bank payment

antrobus

DUTR wrote: »

Disagree on wasting the Police's time....

Presumably what you meant to say that you disagree because it would be wasting the police's time?

DUTR wrote: »

...From your own link
Harassment is when someone behaves in a way which makes you feel distressed, humiliated or threatened. ....

That's right, it's a subjective test. So if someone feels distressed, or humiliated, or even threatened by something then it constitutes harassment. The fact that a different person might not feel distressed by the same something is neither here nor there.

Besides, the OP is basically asking the question, 'what can I do about it'. And that's one thing that can be done about it.

It's only a suggestion.

DUTR

antrobus wrote: »

Presumably what you meant to say that you disagree because it would be wasting the police's time?



That's right, it's a subjective test. So if someone feels distressed, or humiliated, or even threatened by something then it constitutes harassment. The fact that a different person might not feel distressed by the same something is neither here nor there.

Besides, the OP is basically asking the question, 'what can I do about it'. And that's one thing that can be done about it.

It's only a suggestion.

I agree she can try that line, in practice though, it won't change anything, I too feel harrased by some people especially ex's doesn't mean I can do anything about it, that's just how I feel,
In between the lines the OP's ex is not as keen on having a child as the OP is (what a rotter eh?) the bottom line is he can use what ever reference he wishes as long as it's not swear words (it's all there in the T&Cs) .

sangie595

Contact his bank, tell them that he had a history here, and that they are colluding with him, whether knowingly or not, in harassment of you, which is an illegal act. The fact is that the bank will have no idea what he is doing, but they are entirely likely to put a stop on it very quickly.

DUTR

sangie595 wrote: »

Contact his bank, tell them that he had a history here, and that they are colluding with him, whether knowingly or not, in harassment of you, which is an illegal act. The fact is that the bank will have no idea what he is doing, but they are entirely likely to put a stop on it very quickly.

They won't do anything.

Guest101

I don't think you should be showing your bank statements to anyone by the way....


As for harassment, for goodness sake, it's a reference on a payment, I'd be concerned for someone's mental state and ability to care for a child if a word, on a bank statement, caused them such distress.

justontime

Guest101 wrote: »

I don't think you should be showing your bank statements to anyone by the way....


As for harassment, for goodness sake, it's a reference on a payment, I'd be concerned for someone's mental state and ability to care for a child if a word, on a bank statement, caused them such distress.

It is offensive and unacceptable and Beckymargatree should not tolerate it. She may decide that it's not worth making a fuss about it, but I would suggest making a formal written complaint to CMS rather than just asking for help by phone. It may also be worth writing to her own bank explaining the situation and asking for help to prevent the ex using abusive terms on the payment reference.

Also if he pays late she should report it to CMS each time it happens. If he doesn't pay on time he will lose the option to pay direct.

By the way bank statements are required for various things eg mortgage applications.

whitewing

Think of it as "shed evil", which is what you managed to do by the sound of it.

HappyMJ

I'd just laugh it off. It's not that bad. If you're presenting statements to a mortgage company I'm sure you can explain that the payments are child support payments from your ex-husband and they'll probably be trying as hard as they can to prevent themselves from having a little giggle in your presence.

DUTR

justontime wrote: »

It is offensive and unacceptable and Beckymargatree should not tolerate it. She may decide that it's not worth making a fuss about it, but I would suggest making a formal written complaint to CMS rather than just asking for help by phone. It may also be worth writing to her own bank explaining the situation and asking for help to prevent the ex using abusive terms on the payment reference.

Also if he pays late she should report it to CMS each time it happens. If he doesn't pay on time he will lose the option to pay direct.

By the way bank statements are required for various things eg mortgage applications.

But the OP will lose 4% of the contribution with collect and pay.
I don't recall having to show bank statements just pay slips and P60 when applying for a mortgage.

jackyann

Actually, I recently had to show a bank statement. When you open a new savings account, or other similar things, they request ID that includes 2 utility bills or bank statements for address verification.

Of course, OP could choose to use utility bills instead.

My personal take is that OP should tread both paths suggested. In her head she should work on making light of it.
In practice, she should contact Womens Aid or local Domestic Abuse unit, and ask how to proceed with getting this stopped.