Innapropriate reference on child support bank payment

DUTR

jackyann wrote: »

Actually, I recently had to show a bank statement. When you open a new savings account, or other similar things, they request ID that includes 2 utility bills or bank statements for address verification.

Of course, OP could choose to use utility bills instead.

My personal take is that OP should tread both paths suggested. In her head she should work on making light of it.
In practice, she should contact Womens Aid or local Domestic Abuse unit, and ask how to proceed with getting this stopped.

She could get it stopped by not accepting the contributions, the NRP could just pick some other deemed derogotary term or simply shift the letters, the 'message' will still be there.
It's a wasted battle and by letting the 'offender' know it is getting to her wins for him.

suki1964

I would just open a new account to use for banking, leaving that account for the payments from him only, then transferring them to the new account with a payment name of choice

DUTR

suki1964 wrote: »

I would just open a new account to use for banking, leaving that account for the payments from him only, then transferring them to the new account with a payment name of choice

Probably the best and most practical suggestion yet on the thread, or even just open another account to recieve the CS contributions. Svaes changing all the regular payments from the current account.

pmduk

Why not just rest easy, realising how much it's bothering him to pay for his own children each month. Only one person looks foolish in all this and it isn't the OP.

Guest101

justontime wrote: »

It is offensive and unacceptable and Beckymargatree should not tolerate it. She may decide that it's not worth making a fuss about it, but I would suggest making a formal written complaint to CMS rather than just asking for help by phone. It may also be worth writing to her own bank explaining the situation and asking for help to prevent the ex using abusive terms on the payment reference.

Also if he pays late she should report it to CMS each time it happens. If he doesn't pay on time he will lose the option to pay direct.

By the way bank statements are required for various things eg mortgage applications.

1: So be offended. So what? 'im offended by x, y or z' means nothing. 'Ok, good for you, carry on being offended'. I'm offended that you think it's offensive - where does it stop?!
it's ok to not agree with stuff, grow up and get on with it.


2: Some mortgage applications may ask to see bank statements. Even then it's not cast iron that they would.

Guest101

jackyann wrote: »

Actually, I recently had to show a bank statement. When you open a new savings account, or other similar things, they request ID that includes 2 utility bills or bank statements for address verification.

Of course, OP could choose to use utility bills instead.

My personal take is that OP should tread both paths suggested. In her head she should work on making light of it.
In practice, she should contact Womens Aid or local Domestic Abuse unit, and ask how to proceed with getting this stopped.

You only need to show the front page, not every single transaction....

Mojisola

Beckymargatree wrote: »

My daughter's father has no contact with her following a family court ruling.

He does now generally pay me on time however he uses the reference "shedevil".

Most people's reaction to seeing this would be that he was being pathetic and childish.

Instead of getting upset by it, use it as a reminder that you're much better off with him out of your life.

Poppie68

At the most it's childish of him but not worth getting your knickers in a twist over.It's not going to have any effect on your life so just ignore him.

suki1964

DUTR wrote: »

Probably the best and most practical suggestion yet on the thread, or even just open another account to recieve the CS contributions. Svaes changing all the regular payments from the current account.

The reason I suggested this way was so as not to tip the ex off that his actions were getting to the op

DUTR

suki1964 wrote: »

The reason I suggested this way was so as not to tip the ex off that his actions were getting to the op

I agree, it's a win win, the little battle ceases, the reference does not appear on the daily current account and the ex does not have to manage his account at the whim of a n other.