Innapropriate reference on child support bank payment

Beckymargatree

My daughter's father has no contact with her following a family court ruling.
He stopped paying CSA claiming he wasn't working.
When our case was closed by Csa I applied via the new agency and they decided he should be contributing.
Anyhow, I had to give him my bank account details via then which I told them I want happy doing.

He does now generally pay me on time however he uses the reference "shedevil".
This obviously appears on my bank account every week, it's upsetting and it seems there is nothing I can do about it.

I have brought it up with child maintenance who say they have politely asked him to change it but nothing else they can do.

I don't have any contact with him due to circumstances surrounding what went on. Any advice please?

arbroath_lass

I can appreciate it is upsetting, that's why he's doing it. He's looking for a reaction. If he stops using that it's likely he'll come up with something worse. Can't you just ignore it?

tomtontom

Accept that you're never going to get on and be happy that he's paying you? The phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" springs to mind, don't let him get to you over something so unimportant.

Beckymargatree

It's the fact that it would be on my bank statements should I ever need to produce them.
I disagree with the sentiment I should be grateful that he is contributing to his daughters upbringing.
To me this is a way of continuing abuse

arbroath_lass

Beckymargatree wrote: »

To me this is a way of continuing abuse

Actually, I'd take it as I'd won and this was now his only way of sniping at me. Who cares what people who "need to see" bank statements think? They're only interested in the figures and I'm sure they've seen much worse!

DUTR

Beckymargatree wrote: »

It's the fact that it would be on my bank statements should I ever need to produce them.
I disagree with the sentiment I should be grateful that he is contributing to his daughters upbringing.
To me this is a way of continuing abuse

Like you say, there is little or nothing you can do, just thankful you are getting contributions, some get nothing irrespective of what they wish to be called or not called.

Mojisola

Beckymargatree wrote: »

To me this is a way of continuing abuse

It is - but it also shows how little control he has over you that he has to resort to such petty methods. This is the worst he can do now - don't let him get to you.

If you ever need to show your bank statement to anyone else, just block out the word with a marker pen.

splishsplash

I agree with you that the idea of being 'thankful' that a father should contribute to the needs of his child is objectionable.

I also agree that it is an attempt to get a rise out of you.

Most people would look on that and think 'how pathetic is that?' and realize it reflects very badly on him, not you.

As others have said, if you needed to produce bank statements, just redact the word with a marker.

antrobus

Beckymargatree wrote: »

....I don't have any contact with him due to circumstances surrounding what went on. Any advice please?

Contact your local police force?

His conduct is clearly intended to cause you 'alarm and distress' and constitutes harassment, which is a criminal offence.

See
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

DUTR

antrobus wrote: »

Contact your local police force?

His conduct is clearly intended to cause you 'alarm and distress' and constitutes harassment, which is a criminal offence.

See
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

Disagree on wasting the Police's time.

From your own link
Harassment is when someone behaves in a way which makes you feel distressed, humiliated or threatened. It could be someone you know, like a neighbour or people from you local area or it could be a stranger - for example, someone on the bus.
Examples of harassment include:

• unwanted phone calls, letters, emails or visits
• abuse and bullying online
• stalking
• verbal abuse and threats

smashing windows or using dogs to frighten you.

The bank account holder can use what reference he chooses, hopefully somehwere it includes child support in the reference.
What he has done is nothing new or genuine, bar steward fund anybody?

worried_jim

I always reference payments to my friends accounts as "Clap Clinic".

OP- don't sweat it!