Closing down the "Widows" support thread

Andypandyboy

I think the comments and actions on the thread over the last few days tarnished it in the minds of many. Many of the posts which tried to help the situation were removed.

One person was banned from posting (unfairly in my view as there were no posts from anybody on the thread which warranted reporting, in my opinion).and two others decided to leave the thread.

In the interests of fairness I think it was right to close the thread. It was clearly seen that way by MSE who I assume want all posters to feel comfortable and welcome on threads as this is an open forum.

lessonlearned

Lovely post John......the voice of sweet reason as always.:D

May I suggest that someone starts a new thread - more general - not "just" about widows.

Perhaps something along the lines of "Bereavement Support". I think there is a real need for one.

Kitty's thread (yes I know it wasn't Kitty's thread, but just for want of a better description) really did fill a need on these boards. It provided help, advice, support and friendship for many, both to contributors and lurkers.

I am not going to sign up for this, I really feel it's time for me to move on. Time to start spreading my wings a little, hesitantly and with a little fear and trepidation it's true, but with a stout heart and a steady gaze on the horizon.

Tomorrow would have been my wedding anniversary. I shall buy myself some beautiful flowers, get dolled up and go out for a posh lunch with DS2, raising a glass to himself.

Good luck everyone, stay well.

Biggles

Pollycat wrote: »

But if nobody is in dialogue with them, they won't be doing anything.

That's why I am.

Pollycat

Biggles wrote: »

That's why I am.

That's good.
You didn't say so in your earlier post though.
That's why I mentioned it it.

Biggles wrote: »

You don't close a whole thread down because one or two posters have a barney. The final post says it's run its course and someone seems to have taken that as a fact, which it isn't.

And missbiggles (er, no relation etc!) has always seemed a perfectly reasonable poster. MSE need to take a step back and consider the right thing to do.

mumps

hunters wrote: »

It is indeed a great shame the thread was closed especially when more people were backing up the two people who were hounded from the thread yesterday for daring to disagree with the OP of the thread. The first edit of the opening post was very unpleasant.

Missbiggles1 I hope you got some solace from the event yesterday and don't feel so down today.

Mumps I hope your procedure goes well and remember a lot of people are routing for you.

Thank you for your kind thoughts, I am worried about MissBiggles as she posted no unpleasant posts at all, she was so upset that she said she was leaving in tears and deserved some sympathy. I have contacted MSE and asked them to reconsider and I hope other people who are concerned might offer her some support. I have had a letter from the hospital and I hope by the end of next week I will be able to post good news but either way at least I will know what is going to happen. I know I will get the best treatment possible not least because of the genetics involved.

Thanks to the people who sent me PMs of support. :beer:

Andypandyboy

It may not be a permanent ban, from what I have read of the rules two weeks seems to be the timeframe. I am sure she will be happy to see she has support. As you say her posts did not deserve such a punishnent. I will also do as you suggest.

I hope all goes well with your hospital tests.

maggiem

I'm not aware of the sequence of events recently as I have been away and out of touch. However I have a husband who is older than me and therefore I am aware I may be widowed. I found the thread extremely helpful although please god I do not need the advice soon.

If there were disagreements I am sure no one meant to cause offence.

Best wishes to all posters xx

Biggles

Pollycat wrote: »

You didn't say so in your earlier post though.
That's why I mentioned it it.

I assumed several people would already have flagged it up with them.

Pollycat

Biggles wrote: »

I assumed several people would already have flagged it up with them.

Always best not to assume anyone is being proactive about anything.
That's why I didn't assume you'd done anything and therefore suggested somebody involved in what appears to be a 'debacle' did do something.

mumps

Pollycat wrote: »

Always best not to assume anyone is being proactive about anything.
That's why I didn't assume you'd done anything and therefore suggested somebody involved in what appears to be a 'debacle' did do something.

I was involved and did send them a message, as MissBiggles1 and I were in agreement it might be nice if people who weren't in agreement showed their support for her. She seemed very low and even said she wished she could go to sleep and not wake up, she then said she was in tears and left the thread so I think concern is not misplaced and support would be charitable.