A Diary of Reinventing Ourselves

Siouxsie32

:wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::wall:

All joking aside, I think you're doing a brilliant job taking control and trying to dig your way to the bottom of this. I lurked on the other thread and on this one too. Everyone here has your back and is willing you to carry on. I don't have a whole lot to offer, but I am silently supporting you.

Noddle is just a free version of what companies like Experian and Equifax charge for. It lists your credit history and you can check for any discrepancies before applying for credit.

If you sign up to cashback sites like Quidco and Topcashback, you can get money back for buying/signing up.

enthusiasticsaver

Is all the credit in his name? You will be financially linked if you have any joint accounts/credit cards so you can do just in your name. Millions of us use Noddle, Experian etc and in fact it is recommended you do it regularly to make sure that you are not a victim of identity fraud. Keep digging for your own peace of mind. Your OH is still avoiding the issue for some reason.

matchboxfull

Just caught up on the last three pages of this thread. I'm another one subscribed and here to cheer you on.

Question: why does your husband have to 'dig out' these credit card bills? When we were in debt we were getting bills through the door a minimum of once a week. Can you intercept the post as it comes in?

sugarcube84

Subscribed


You have had loads of helpful advice and tips but it will always be an uphill battle without hubby being invested 100%. I've been there and I can sympathise with the random shopping, I would never dare to leave him to do a big shop he would spend £££ but have nothing for a meal!! It only got better when he had his lightbulb moment, now that he is committed to paying off our debts he understands why it's so important to stick to budget. Another thing that made a big difference was me taking on 100% of the financial management. I simply give dh spends each month for his petrol,lunches etc which is all budgeted for and if he has money left over he either saves or spends it, as I have already included budgeted for it I don't mind what he does with it.


Another one who recommends Noddle, I got hubby's credit report as well I think you just need address history and a credit/debit card.

brizzledfw wrote: »

(turkey meatballs on tomato pearl barley risotto

Sounds lovely have you a recipe?

getmore4less

The important account to get access to is the one(s) he puts the money into, everything else will flow from there.

Unless he has gone on-line only then there should be bills/statements coming in at least once a month for any on-line it might be worth going back to paper if there is no charge.

Are the CC bills on direct debit for min payment(he should know that) if they are then they will never go down just up if you are using them.

Three are two approaches from here, try to find some history and build up the picture for 2015 and from now a spending diary, but expext things to suddenly appear

one thing to do is for every account that supports Direct debits and Standing orders get the list and make sure you know what they all are.

I think it is going to take some time to track where close on £100k a year is going.

117pauline

Could I make a suggestion?

Is there a possibility that your OH is actually feeling pretty rubbish as this has happened on his watch? Perhaps it has been going on for a lot longer than you were aware and it has made him feel that he has let himself, you and the family down?

As he seems to be loathe to provide the information, perhaps he feels that you being proactive is challenging to him.

I am just trying to put a different slant on your situation which may help you both move forward to getting this debt sorted. I suggest this because of my own personal experience, no other reason.

Finally I know you are working hard to get back to a balanced budget and I wish you both all the best. If you can do this together, I am sure you will succeed

Queen.Bess

Well there you go! I'd not heard of Noddle until this thread either, so have just registered and got my credit report, albeit that's a totally shocking one with a poor rating, but I can see my accounts and which ones are classed as up to date and which are in default.

Thanks to whoever mentioned it as I'm now making it my mission to have a better score by the end of 2016!

FT: I agree very much with 117pauline. I think male pride is getting in the way of him coming on board with you. At the moment anyway. I think that with your perseverance and continuing to badger him, once you've done a lot of the donkey work to show what you all need to do to improve the situation, he may well join in and it may happen sooner than you think it might at the moment! I hope so anyway!

Don't use emotional blackmail as such, but I think he needs to know that what you're doing is for the good of your whole family; it will teach them good skills in both cleaning, budgeting and also being aware that not everything is easy to come by. By including the children in discussions, they can help and show that Daddy is not joining in the fun (which it can be, as you know from the cleaning session at the weekend!).

Keep going! :T QBxx

JustAboutThere

Another one lurking here (now subscribed).

The trouble I found with Noodle is I hadn't used any credit cards for so long, they had no way of verifying my identity. So, I can't use them to apply for my credit report.

Like others, I hope your husband hasn't already been trying to push amounts onto other credit cards you're not aware of. It may just be a serious case of 'ostrich syndrome' (head in sand).

Hopefully not and fingers crossed he comes around to join your debt busting.

Best wishes with your endeavours. You've made a great start.

enthusiasticsaver

117pauline wrote: »

Could I make a suggestion?

Is there a possibility that your OH is actually feeling pretty rubbish as this has happened on his watch? Perhaps it has been going on for a lot longer than you were aware and it has made him feel that he has let himself, you and the family down?

As he seems to be loathe to provide the information, perhaps he feels that you being proactive is challenging to him.

I am just trying to put a different slant on your situation which may help you both move forward to getting this debt sorted. I suggest this because of my own personal experience, no other reason.

Finally I know you are working hard to get back to a balanced budget and I wish you both all the best. If you can do this together, I am sure you will succeed

I think you have probably hit the nail on the head. For a man who is successful in his work environment and probably used to people respecting him the fact that his wife has uncovered evidence to show he has taken his eye off the ball in his personal finances is undoubtedly very unnerving and uncomfortable for him. There may also have been stress building up previously as even someone who is rubbish with money but has a reasonable brain must have known that the situation was spiralling out of control with that amount of interest being compounded. I think he did not know how to sort it and that is quite scary for someone who is used to being in control.

FT I do hope that you and OH can sit down and discuss in a reasonable manner how to go forward from here as it is best if you are both on the same side. Maybe you could admit you were not involved as much as you should have been to avoid making him feel as if your financial situation is all his fault. Not saying you should have been but this may make him a little more cooperative and less defensive.

pelirocco

pelirocco wrote: »

I would guess he is hiding something

I posted in a hurry this morning , and realise that would have sounded harsh .

He may be hiding it from his self , I think its pretty common for people to not open post ect because they are afraid of what they will find . On a previous thread you said your husband had said his accountant had said you wouldn't pass credit checks ( to enable you to move ), that was a red flag to me . You need a frank and honest conversation , I fear there is more to this then you realise