Weekly Flylady Thread 11 Jan 2016

pigpen

Mumof2.. I'd be tempted to put pics of his hoarding online and ask for opinions.. see if it a wake up call for him.. he needs someone independent, uninfluenced by emotion to either of you to say , yes, this is what this is.. my stepdad has a cupboard full of car mags from the back end of the 1990's.. but they are in a cupboard, unseen. My OH has about 20 boxes of comics.. he gets 4 a month and reads them a couple of times then into the pile they go.. we are getting storage boxes so they can safely go in the loft. I totally get where you are with these mags.. is there somewhere they can be put so you cannot see them? It looks like you are focusing on these mags as a test of his feelings for you, like bit of an obsession. Does the rest of his stuff bother you less or are you angry at those mags only? I can never see why crap from your past is in any way related to todays issues.. but I have nothing but contempt for my childhood and most of the adults involved.

Do you think this counselling is going to help at all? The first sessions aren't usually productive though are they because they are trying to build a bigger picture about what your life has held in order to find a path forward.

DD2 desperately trying to do her UCAS applications.. nothing like last minute!! It has to be in by 6pm.

OH gone for Squeak..
DS3 actually surfaced in daylight!

YORKSHIRELASS

Aww Mumof2 sorry to hear that. But my gut feeling is to do the couple counselling if you can.

Narco hope things are OK with your family.

Got to take dogs to vets. Terrified. Leaving it as late as possible so we dont have to wait in waiting room too long. I hate being so flippin anxious. Sorry if I sound a complete idiot!!!

Mumof2_2

If the stuff was out of the way and I didn't have to see it then I'd be happy. I don't mind him having 'stuff' (I have yarn! - but that's in storage boxes out of the way) but it's just it's everywhere. I do think he is getting the message but I want to see it evidenced by things being binned.

I don't know if counselling will help or not; time will tell.

Thanks for your support Pigpen x

pigpen

Mumof2 wrote: »

If the stuff was out of the way and I didn't have to see it then I'd be happy. I don't mind him having 'stuff' (I have yarn! - but that's in storage boxes out of the way) but it's just it's everywhere. I do think he is getting the message but I want to see it evidenced by things being binned.

I don't know if counselling will help or not; time will tell.

Thanks for your support Pigpen x

I have yarn, and fabric and children I cant say a word either..

counselling does take time you know that already.. and things get worse before they get better.

xx

nicki_2

Afternoon all

Pigpen - Happy birthday to your son

Valli - hope it went well!

Mumof2 - *huge hugs*

YL - I only go to the vets with an appointment despite them having a drop in service in the mornings. I'm always anxious what Zack will do if there's any cat or a dog he doesn't like in there. He's hit and miss with his moods with other dogs so I'm trying to get some reading done on dog body language so I feel more confident with him around other dogs. It'll be nice to take him the park and let him off the lead without having to panic if another dog comes in the park!

I said today was going to be me time didn't I.... I spent the morning sorting stuff on the DVR out, watching some programmes and sorting out my email. I managed to delete 500 emails, I just want to follow through a few links to blogs before I delete some more. Then I got itchy feet. So I've cleaned the bathroom (except the floor. It needs vacuuming first), dailies in the bedrooms, washed up and had a good tidy up of the kitchen and mopped the floor. It needs me to get down on my hands and knees to scrub it but that can wait for another day. I've put a wash load on, another waiting to go in, then when DD is home and her laundry is in the wash I can get on with the other 2+ loads (depending on how much there is, I'll probably end up splitting the 2 that are there). Tea is already decided on, pulled pork wraps as there's salad type stuff that needs using up. Since it's got to go in the oven, I might whack some cakes in while I've got the oven on. Then again I might just put it in the remoska instead.

Personal:
Book Dentist appointment Decided to go in half term instead of inset day
Charge headphones (read instructions PROPERLY first)
Fix coat
Demould bathroom, bedrooms, hall (incl front door), livingroom, kitchen
Accounts

Work:
Deal with delivery (just my stuff)
Email ASM for confirmation of territory (I'm sure I have the other side of the road but I want to check first!)
COrder
Prep C5 books & reprep C4 for recanvassing

Monday - Living / Family Room
Level 3
Wash a window or two.

Tuesday - kitchen and dining room
Extras

• HHI

Wednesday - Bathrooms & PC / Study area
Level 2
Switch off the kit and wipe over the keyboard with an antibac wipe or similar
Switch it back on and de-fragment the disc
Level 3
Mop the floor
Wash a window or two

Thursday - Master bedroom
Level 1
Strip the bed
Remake it too
Level 2
Dust and vac
Polish a mirror / picture
Wipe door handles, frames, window frames
Extras:

• HHI

Friday - Kids rooms / Room of doom
Level 1
Clear a surface and wipe it
And another
And another
Level 2
Dust and deweb
Vacuum too
Level 3
Wipe any icky bits, finger marks on windows, near light switches and door handles
Clear a hotspot
Extras

• Find homes for the things you cleared: put them away or fling!

Going to make a hot coffee then tackle these articles I want to read from my email while the house is still quiet :wave:

Mumof2_2

To his credit he didn't retaliate when I said about the hoarding, control issues (he's much better since I've been getting stronger) or differing parenting styles. He took it on the chin. I just feel let down by the system and honestly don't think my MH past should come into it now. I hope they call back and say yes we can go ahead as I'm sure we would benefit from couple counselling and will be very upset if by being honest I have the rug pulled from under my feet.

Frizzlef

Oh pigpen! You have made me chuckle! First chance I've had all day to log on and now sitting with a cuppa and catching up with the thread. Thank you so much for your supportive words! Things were almost forgotten this morning so hopefully we can move on! Although I'm sure the subject will be brought up again the next time he is feeling cross! I work part time now because of the kids and therefore earn half of what he earns (we used to earn the same pre-kids!) and even though he wouldn't want me to go back full time, sometimes in the heat of an argument he makes comments about who pays the mortgage! Not that we have seperate money as it all goes in one pot! Just trying to score a point when he's cross. I know he doesn't mean it really, but still hurts! Anyway, thanks Hun.

Running off to catch up with the rest of the thread!

pigpen

oooh frizz that annoys me when they throw that one in.. I always respond with.. 'and who makes it possible for you to work those hours? Maybe I should bill you for my domestic and childcare services.. and I think the going rate for sexual services is around £40, £150 if you want me to stay overnight. Are you sure you want to make it a competition?' .... family isn't about who brings what, it is about love and support and friendship. .. then poke him in the eye

No wonder cf hated me hahahaha...

Frizzlef

All caught up...

Mumof2- sorry it wasn't a better outcome but hopefully they will ting with an offer to help.
Pigpen- happy birthday to your ds.
Valli- hope today went as well as it could go.

I love my new floor!!! I am sat in our family room, just smiling. We moved the sofa and rug in but left all the cr*p and mismatched furniture in the study so the study is a tip but boy is it worth it! Hubby has suggested getting new matching furniture to really finish this room off and I think it will be so cosy then! Unfortunately, I know that the pot of money is not endless and any big purchases are coming out of our kitchen fund. But it is the first room you see when entering the house so will make such a difference!
Anyway, I have been busy, but not much ticked off list. So going to have a little look now.


Sort the washing up and shine your sink.
Mop your floors
Write a mini frog list for hubby!

Wednesday - Bathrooms & PC / Study area
Clean the sink, taps and grotty plugholes
Toilets! Don’t forget the outside!
Mop the floor
Delete some emails

Mumof2_2

Just taken phone call confirming that yes they can see us for counselling so that's a big relief. Thanks for all your support everyone xx