Hate living on my own - time to sell?

oystercatcher

So what would you do if you went back to your Mum's (if she lets you !) Go to work and have your Mum cook your tea and do your washing? Or go to work and cook tea for your Mum and do your own washing ? Either way work, food and chores are part of life, you need to fit the social stuff around it all.

Did you give up your friends when you settled down with your ex? Maybe it's time to get back in touch and get out and about a bit or have people round, even if you're watching DVD's and home cooking , that needn't cost much but you need the human interaction by the sounds of it.

My son bought a house when he was 21 and I'd be very disappointed if he gave it up because he was lonely.

michelle2008

It sounds like it's not just the flat that's getting you down - it's everything.

While I am a big fan of homeownership - you are very young to feel this way. I think you sit down and get a clear picture of what you really want and start working towards it.

Maybe you should sell the flat, move back home and get some more qualifications? Even go to university - get a whole new career?? You are really lucky to be so young - you have plenty of time to retrain and find a career that you love.

hollydays

Sometimes it's the simplest things that can make you new friends.
Joining a local running group ( I don't know if that's your thing).
What are your interests?
Just having one or two social groups can make a massive difference to your mindset.

Alikay

I bought a house and lived alone at your age after my first marriage broke up (yes, I know, I was very young:o) and like you found it a bit isolating due to finances as there was nothing left after the bills to spend on going out. Luckily I had a job where I was surrounded by people and a couple of close friends who were happy to just hang out at my house and watch TV.
I did take a part-time barmaid job to give a little extra cash, and being behind the bar kind of felt like a night out...is a bar job an option for you a couple of nights a week?

Person_one

Thatsthespirit wrote: »

I get too lonely and feel like my life has already been laid out in front of me.

I go to work, get home, cook my tea, do the washing rinse and repeat. I don't particularly have the money to go out all the time (yes I know I said I get by but I'm always careful with my money)

I'm 23 for Christ's sake. I feel like I haven't lived yet. I finished School at 16 and went straight into a dead end job. I've only been abroad once. I left my previous job last November for another place but it's not work I hate, it's everything around it.

Where you live and who with isn't going to fundamentally change the way you're feeling.

You need some friends, some hobbies, maybe more contact with family/siblings, and some goals to aim for.

Its new year, not a bad time for making plans and setting some targets. Some people find that making a 'to do' list helps, as they need the motivation of ticking things off as they are achieved.

If you want some help with freeing up a bit of cash from your budget to do social stuff or join some groups/courses then visit the debt-free wannabe part of this forum. They seem like a friendly bunch, and even if you aren't in debt they're fantastic at looking at your finances and slashing costs!

suki1964

I had my first flat at 21 and I can't tell you how lonely it was

To afford to live I had three jobs, all I seemed to do was work, or sleep

They were the worse and best years of my life

Worse, because as you say, the loneliness can be totally soul destroying.

The best? I learned to be happy with myself. I learned independence. I learned that no one could make me as happy as I could myself

It's kept me in good stead through the last 30 years. I'm not afraid to be alone any more. I am content with life. I don't need a mad busy every minute of the day filled to be at peace with myself

It's so hard when you are first starting out, but believe me, stick it out, and your life will be so much better in the future

The thing that save me from going nuts I think was finding a bar job a couple of nights a week. I was getting paid to have a social life and it meant that as a single lass,I had a safe place to go out in the evenings if I needed to

Kynthia

It seems like the lack of socialising and holidays due to having no money is what is getting you down. If so then do try a lodger, as even if your place is small the extra income will mean you can afford to be out more and potentially go on holiday. Or as some have mentioned if you can't get a better paying job then a second job could give you extra money and perhaps be something more social.

I don't think you can let the whole property when you used Help to Buy but I might be wrong.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

You might not want to, but having somebody else in there to pay the bills, that you aren't required to sustain a long term relationship with, can be great.

Most people your age who have their own place either have a partner or a child - everybody else shares. You have the advantage of being able to get rid of anybody you don't get along with, as they would be a lodger, rather than a housemate - the difficulties with sharing often come from being stuck with somebody, them not paying bills, being a bit of a wally, etc - all of those are irrelevant when you can give them notice whenever you like.

Think about it again, rather than dismissing it out of hand - it's a darn sight easier than moving back with your mum.

lessonlearned

Agree with the idea of getting a second job both for extra income and socialising.

I did this when I was in my 20s. Worked in an office during the day and then in a concert venue two or three nights a week. Got paid and got to see Loads of concerts and comedy gigs for free. Met loads of people and had a great time.

burnoutbabe

maybe consider a monday-friday lodger if there is a market for it in your area? least then its not so crowded at the weekends.