How do you split expenses?

Grenage

duchy wrote: »

Which simply means that if you split up as you haven't allowed your girlfriend to contribute to mortgage payments or utilities that she has no claim on any of the property you both live in if her name isn't on the deeds.

It may suit you -or indeed both of you - but it may not be fair in the long run.

Oh it's fair; I sold my house so that we can buy somewhere new together. Her name will be on the deeds regardless of her contribution to the mortgage on a monthly basis.

Mojisola

Grenage wrote: »

I earn more (but not much above average if at all), and I pay the mortgage and all the utility bills etc. My girlfriend isn't cheap, and happily pays for everything she can when we are out - be that food shopping or a restaurant. If I asked her to pay in x amount per month, she'd happily do such.

duchy wrote: »

Which simply means that if you split up as you haven't allowed your girlfriend to contribute to mortgage payments or utilities that she has no claim on any of the property you both live in if her name isn't on the deeds.

It may suit you -or indeed both of you - but it may not be fair in the long run.

The GF is living rent- and utility-free - she's not in a bad position!

If she can't save some of the money she would otherwise be spending on rent and bills, she's being foolish but not hard done by.

maman

Nick_C wrote: »

"With this ring, I thee wed. With my body, I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow"

I'm not religious or married, and I didn't make these vows, but it's how I feel about our relationship.

I prefer the what's yours is mine and what's mine's my own version.:rotfl:

fairy_lights wrote: »

If I had a pound for every "How should we split our finances" post on here I'd have enough to buy a round of drinks for the whole forum!
There's no correct or right way to do it - different couples manage their finances in all sorts of different ways depending on what works for them and their individual circumstances.
The important thing is to discuss this with your partner and find an arrangement you're both happy with.

I do agree but it is fascinating to read the various positions that people take. Some are dictatorial in the sense that they way do things has to be the only way, others suggest that if you're not prepared to split everything 50:50 then you can't possibly love your partner.... I agree there is no right way but it says a lot about people's personalities and attitude to life as well as attitude to money.


I, too, think the OP has used the clumsy they/them/their way of describing a partner to hide their gender. It might be because of a same sex relationship or it might be that attitudes/comments would be different if posters knew it was coming from a man or woman.


I believe that OP sounds as if they want to have all the benefits of the partner's higher earnings without working for it so entitlement if you like. Many posters on here seem happy with that either because it's a joint decision (like childcare/maternity) or just because they feel happy in the provider/recipient situation. What really matters is that the OP's partner doesn't seem happy, a gesture has been made (in response to whingeing?) of sharing travel expenses but OP wants to know if s/he should have more.


For many years DH and I have earned much the same each so 50:50 works for us although we don't put it all in a joint account. We keep our own money and pay bills half and half. What's left is ours to spend as we wish. I've probably got more savings than DH as I'm more mse:D. On the few occasions that I've earned a bit less than him I've hated it as I didn't feel I was paying my way.


The posters I feel sorry for are on those threads where one partner is obviously not happy with the arrangements. So SAHMs who stay home years after children have gone to school or partners who continue spending oblivious of debts. The worst are where money is used as a form of control. I read one thread a while back where someone either had to get a lift from her OH or ask for money for bus fare. It could have been a turn of phrase but I found it chilling.