How do you split expenses?

queryy

My partner and I live in a rental house. I earn less money than them, and I pay more to get to work in rail fares. How should we split our bills and travel expenses? Should I pay more because I spend more? Should we split 50/50? Or should they pay more because they earn more? Even if they pay more, they will have more to save at the end of the month! If we pay proportional to our income, should this be for all spending or only for bills and travel? Thanks for your advice!

Serendipitious

What does your partner say?

fairy_lights

If I had a pound for every "How should we split our finances" post on here I'd have enough to buy a round of drinks for the whole forum!
There's no correct or right way to do it - different couples manage their finances in all sorts of different ways depending on what works for them and their individual circumstances.
The important thing is to discuss this with your partner and find an arrangement you're both happy with.

TBagpuss

It's very much a personal thing. How long have you been together? How long do you anticipate being together, and do you think you may have children later on? It can be wuite hard to change habits once a pattern is established, which can be really difficult, particualrly if you do have children so one of you starts to make non-finacial contributions by way of caring for them, rather than fainacial ones.

One possibility would be to agree to pool your resources. Do a budget, work out what you need for essentials such as household bills, joint savings etc, then split the remaining money so that you each have some money to spend as you want. In the short term this would mean that your partner would be outting more in , but longer term things may even out.

another option is to agree that you will contribnute in proportion to your incomes, so you each contribute the same proportion of your income, so you might each end up with (say) 15% of your income for personal spending. Again, that wold mean that the higher earner pays in more, but also has more to spend, and neither of you is left with nothing.

in terms ofwhaich things you ake into account, I think you need to discuss that with your partner. You may find that there are things which are seen as essentials by one of you but not the other, so a bit of negotiation and compromise is needed.

Your travel expenses are higher - why? what factors were considered when you started to rent the property - if it costs more for you to get to work because your partner wanted to live where you are, and you would have chosen a place closer to where you work, that is a relevant part of the conversation.

If you can't discuss it or if your partner is not willing to compromise then at the very least, you will know where you stand, and can plan accordingly for the future.

FBaby

You should add your income together, then take out of it all your essential spends, either common or not (for your travel expenses for instance) and then divide what is left over (disposable income) by two.

queryy

They thought that they were already being generous splitting everything 50-50 when I spend more money on travel. But they then offered to split bills and travel proportional to income. But isn't that still unfair since they will be left with more spending money than me?

PasturesNew

queryy wrote: »

They thought that they were already being generous splitting everything 50-50 when I spend more money on travel. But they then offered to split bills and travel proportional to income. But isn't that still unfair since they will be left with more spending money than me?

Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it!

My god you're ungrateful.

They're bending over backwards to stop you whining and you're still not happy, so have come to the Internet to find people that agree with you.

Top tip: There won't be any here.

They earn more, they DESERVE to keep more of their money.

Compare what you have to living in a studio bedsit and paying your way every month without anybody upping your lifestyle!

Nick_C

We moved into a new house recently. We worked out an annual budget, and one of us makes a monthly payment to the other that gives each of us the same net income. Our incomes, expenses, and work patterns are very different, but ours is an equal partnership. If you love your partner, you treat them equally and want the best for them. You provide for each other, financially, materially, and emotionally. If you are disagreeing over finances, then either one of you is not seeing the whole picture or there is something seriously wrong with your relationship.

VfM4meplse

PasturesNew wrote: »

Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it!

My god you're ungrateful.

They're bending over backwards to stop you whining and you're still not happy, so have come to the Internet to find people that agree with you.

Top tip: There won't be any here.

They earn more, they DESERVE to keep more of their money.

Compare what you have to living in a studio bedsit and paying your way every month without anybody upping your lifestyle!

Harshly put, but correct in essence. If you want more disposable income, then earn it instead of expecting soneone else to subsidise you.

[Deleted User]

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Harshly put, but correct in essence. If you want more disposable income, then earn it instead of expecting soneone else to subsidise you.

I'm glad I don't take this advice and tell my wife that I am subsidising her...

It does all depend on your relationship. Are you treating it as marriage, or as 'partners'?

VfM4meplse

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I'm glad I don't take this advice and tell my wife that I am subsidising her...

It does all depend on your relationship. Are you treating it as marriage, or as 'partners'?

A marriage is a lifelong legal commitment, partners come and go.

Co-renting is not as committed as co-owning.

It sounds to me as if the OP has issues with money to the extent they feel resentful. That's not what I consider to be a healthy relationship.