Alway's believe that something wonderful is about to happen!

pennywisepoundstupid

Evening,watched Philomena this afternoon and although it was sad I really enjoyed it, also made me reflect on how lucky I am to have my children and see them flourishing even if they do drive me mad sometimes.

I have had a chat with DH about how i'm feeling and we talked through some things.

Apologies as this is a ramble and i'm trying to get my thoughts out of my head.

I have also been thinking long term and what is important to us, DH and I want to retire to somewhere warm such as spain/france (I struggle with winters in England, dark days), we would love a cottage with some land so we can keep animals and grow fruit/veg. So we need to start thinking how we can put this into motion and make it a reality in 15-20yrs time. We also know we will have the costs of 1 if not both children going through uni which is quickly approaching. So we need to think about enjoying the life we have but also saving for the future. I have read Tillys, gallygirls and shangaijimmy diary and have gained so much inspiration from them.

DH already works long hours and often takes a days holiday each month to work for a mate that runs corporate days for companies.
We have 2 houses we rent out and these are DH retirement fund, I have a work pension. But I want to save £80,000 which I have worked out over 20 years works out just under £11 a day.
I currently work 4 days a week (well will when i'm back to my normal hours), I leave at 8am and i'm usually home between 4-5pm depending on what after school activities the children have as there is no point coming home to go back out again half an hour later to do a 12mile round trip, i try and use this time when I'm sat outside school to do surveys on my phone. I do paperwork for a local farmer, usually every couple of months about 4 hrs work I can do at home and I tend to fit it into the school hols, I get paid in meat which makes a big difference to the grocery bill. I sell on ebay part business/part stuff we have outgrown or don't use this take up around 20-30mins of time a day, which I fit in around other things such as wrapping items whilst watching tv later in an evening. Surveys and swagbucks are something else I do whether it be early in a morning or evenings whilst watching Tv, I also try and do some at lunchtime at work or whilst sat around waiting for kids coming out of various after school clubs.
I'm struggling to see where I can bring in more money, I don't want to work 5 days as I like that day to catch up on housework so the weekend is free to spend time together as a family, mystery shopping isn't really for me as we live in the sticks and rarely go into the big town. So basically we need to cut back and save everything we can, think about what we are spending and how we can make more money.

We can do this, its all in the mind and we can achieve anything we want, only we can do this and no one is going to do it for us.

Apologies if this doesn't make sense I just need it down in black and white and out of my head.

pennywisepoundstupid

mummytogirls wrote: »

Glad you're feeling a bit brighter this evening Pennywise.

Do NOT feel bad re the glasses, youve named all the positives in your post i.e. paying cash etc and I'm pretty sure youve done without for long enough xx

Thanks mummy, I think part of the problem is I havn't really spent on myself for so long that my mindset is that of I shouldn't be doing it.

redofromstart

You wear your glasses regularly, you have to love them. £35 is an absolute bargain, and like you say pence per wear.

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear you had a spell of feeling low, hardly surprising given the past year. But at least you recognised it as a blip and are feeling more positive now and looking after yourself.

Don't feel guilty about the glasses, they were a bargain, and if you love them and they suit you, worth every penny

HairyHandofDartmoor

When people have been ill, especially something serious, they have complex emotions afterwards. It's a bit like you're grieving for how your life was before the illness.

So being kind to yourself is very important. You need time and attention from DH so I hope his sports activities will be less time consuming in future. Buying some glasses that make you feel good is very important and you were absolutely right to get them.

You've been through a horrible ordeal and you need to pamper and love yourself to help you to heal physically and emotionally.

Your plans for the future sound great and it's important to prepare to make them a reality .

pennywisepoundstupid

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

When people have been ill, especially something serious, they have complex emotions afterwards. It's a bit like you're grieving for how your life was before the illness.

So being kind to yourself is very important. You need time and attention from DH so I hope his sports activities will be less time consuming in future. Buying some glasses that make you feel good is very important and you were absolutely right to get them.

You've been through a horrible ordeal and you need to pamper and love yourself to help you to heal physically and emotionally.

Your plans for the future sound great and it's important to prepare to make them a reality .

Thankyou and you are spot on with the whole grieving for my old life, some days I feel so positive, lucky and have some much to be happy about, other days I feel so useless and angry that things are not the same, I'm not the same:(, I need to start loving the new me but I don't know who that is yet. Planning for the future is one way I can deal with it all, I have a future and I need to focus on that.

HairyHandofDartmoor

You're right, looking back can make you feel sad or angry. Looking forward and making plans for a great future is the most positive thing to do .

please-let-me-be-lucky

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

Thankyou and you are spot on with the whole grieving for my old life, some days I feel so positive, lucky and have some much to be happy about, other days I feel so useless and angry that things are not the same, I'm not the same:(, I need to start loving the new me but I don't know who that is yet. Planning for the future is one way I can deal with it all, I have a future and I need to focus on that.

I get every word of this. It’s still early days for you, even though it may not seem like it, and your period of adjustment is still very much valid and ongoing. Your plan for the future sounds solid and you should be proud of the things you already have in place to achieve it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself Xx

pennywisepoundstupid

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

I get every word of this. It’s still early days for you, even though it may not seem like it, and your period of adjustment is still very much valid and ongoing. Your plan for the future sounds solid and you should be proud of the things you already have in place to achieve it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself Xx

Thanks PLMBL xx

pennywisepoundstupid

Really tired tonight, so this is going to be a quick update.
Busy day at work and left late,quick pasta dish for tea. I have wrapped a couple of ebay parcels ready to post tomorrow but not had chance to list this evening. Today has been a NSD and so was yesterday so up to 8 for the month so far. M&S spends showing in bank account and was £13.50 not £16 so grocery budget needs amending.
£10 made on ebay overnight, child ben has gone into bank account and used a £10 prepaid mastercard to top up DS school lunch account.

Finances today -
91p TT to general savings, £10 to holiday savings.
Weekly Grocery budget 19/1/18 - 25/1/18 £100/£112.75
NSD 8
personnel spends £50/£36.90